Author: Andrew Arthur Dawson

I meet new people all the time, some of which are those that drink alcohol. Having been clean and sober now for over 18 years, many of those people find out soon enough when they spend some time with me, that I don’t drink any type of alcohol at all and that I will never be able to just have one.

It often can be frustrating for me to go to any event where alcohol is present. And that’s not for the fact that drinking is taking place because that doesn’t really bother me. Whether it be a wedding, a fundraiser, or some other social event where the consumption of alcoholic beverages is taking place, what bothers me there is when someone always ends up approaching me to ask why I don’t have a drink in my hand and then tries to offer me one. The unavoidable usually happens to where I end up getting in a lengthy conversation with them about my sobriety and how I haven’t had any alcohol in a very long time. The irony in all of it is that most of those people who engage me like this always then proceed to talk to me about how their own consumption of alcohol is healthy and normal. I’m not sure if I’m a tractor beam for those with guilty consciences about their drinking habits but for some reason, it does happen to me a lot. Regardless, it’s rather comical because after those conversations, I’m usually avoided by those people for the rest of the evening.

For those that haven’t suffered from the throngs of alcoholism and never had any serious problems with drinking, there is relatively no understanding that they are ever going to have on why someone like me can’t just have one drink. In the Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) world, they call this condition “the phenomenon of craving” where if I had even a single drink, no matter what type of drink it is, I could never stop with just the one. Instead it became two, and then three and finally I was “off to the races” to getting massively drunk.

Early on in recovery, I never went to bars or other places where heavy drinking, or any drinking for that matter, would be present because of being too susceptible to that phenomenon of craving. I found that I was just too sensitive to the temptation of having a single alcohol based beverage, especially during my first year of recovery. It was even hard to go into some restaurants that had bars within them back then. But eventually being around alcohol became inevitable as it does so for most people. Whether it be that friends and loved ones would drink when I went out with them or that I was invited to some type of party such as a birthday where alcohol was present, I had to start getting used to the fact that I couldn’t avoid being around it forever.

It wasn’t easy at first but my adaptation came by usually bringing a sober companion along with me until I got used to being around alcohol. I guess one might compare that to something like learning how to ride a bike. As in something like that, I needed that support for awhile until I felt comfortable on my own. In time that did come.

Today, I’m able to go to any function where alcohol is present, as being around it doesn’t bother me anymore. I let go of needing that support in those types of situations long ago. But I have to admit that I still chuckle under my breath when I am approached at any of those alcohol-laden functions by a person who either tries to get me to have one drink or give me a long discourse on their history of drinking habits. The sad reality is that no matter how many ways I try to get them to understand my disease with alcohol, most don’t ever quite get it. Ultimately though that doesn’t really matter because I accepted a long time ago this one simple fact; that I can never have just one ever again…

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson

Two nights ago I ventured out to an SLAA (Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous) meeting to pick up my one-year medallion. While I was there, I also sat through the beginner’s portion of the meeting where the topic of the evening was about withdrawal from the addiction. A newcomer had posed the question of how to handle withdrawal and what happens during it. Ironically, not a single person that shared their helpful insights mentioned anything about prayer, meditation, or God.

I’ve gone through withdrawal now from addictions I had to alcohol, drugs, cigarettes, caffeine, and sex and love. In each of them, the major key to getting through the withdrawal process was in turning to a Higher Power for help. To seek that Higher Power, which I choose today to refer to as God, I have utilized prayer to speak and meditation to listen. On some level at this present moment, I’m still going through a withdrawal and healing process from a lot of the toxic energies I took on when I was an active addict. On most days, I am utilizing prayer whether I’m in my car, my bedroom, out and about such as in a movie theater, or in any other place for that matter. Talking to God through prayer doesn’t necessarily mean having lofty sentences and eloquences like a sermon might have. For me, sometimes it’s just about repeating “God please help me have the strength to keep going” over and over and over again until I get through a painful moment. Other times I’m doing the listening part with meditation. I try to do at least 35 minutes every day of sitting in complete silence where I just allow myself to be a receptor of any messages that may come from God.

Through all my prayers and meditations that I’ve done over the years as I have withdrawn from addictions and gone through healing periods, I have been guided by God to the things that were healthier and helped me. Many people in that room of the SLAA meeting I went to the other night had great suggestions for this newcomer on things he could do as he withdrew from his sex and love addiction. I watched as he took notes and did the best he could to pay attention to what everyone was saying. But what I felt people weren’t grasping is that the path that his Higher Power might have for him to deal his withdrawal could be completely different than what they were all suggesting from what worked for them during theirs.

When the beginner’s portion of the meeting ended, I spoke to this man and told him how prayer and meditation helped me get the guidance I needed. I wanted him to know that his Higher Power could provide him all the direction he needed to get through his withdrawal. All he needed to do was just ask through prayer, wait patiently, and listen in quiet moments for the answers, such as through something like meditation. While most of us may never see God in a human form during those moments of seeking guidance during a withdrawal period, the reality is that God’s presence is there and we can tap into it in any given moment by just having a conversation and then being still and listening.

Withdrawal is a very challenging and difficult process to handle no matter what addiction someone is coming off of. There are infinite ways that can be helpful for an individual to navigate safely through that time period. At least in my journey’s case in life, the best and only Navigator who has helped me to do that is God. Through God’s help, I have continued to find all that I need to deal with any withdrawal, pain-filled, and healing based process. I hope this newcomer will find the same is true for him.

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson