God’s Cellular Network

Don’t you just hate it when you are driving along a road and are talking on your cell phone when suddenly your connection gets distorted and full of static? Even worse, doesn’t it just stink when the call just outright drops? In both cases, the culprit is usually that the person has driven into an area where there isn’t a cellular tower nearby to keep the clarity or the call active.

Lately I’ve been thinking about the symbolism of this to my relationship with God. I fully believe that I was born directly under God’s cellular tower where I had a completely full signal and was carrying on clear communication with God. But as I grew older, and began to use my free will, my decisions drove me farther and farther away from that tower. So for each time I got drunk, or high, or promiscuous, or treated people poorly, it was almost as if I was traveling towards some part of the world which couldn’t be reached by God’s cellular tower. The more I did any of my selfish things in life, the more bars I lost, which did nothing more than add distortion to my conversation with God. Eventually, after doing enough selfish things for way too long, I completely lost my signal and all those bars, and my conversation with God dropped completely. It was then that I landed in the mental hospital where I found myself in total disbelief and wondering how I got there.

The funny thing about cell phones is that no matter whether the model is very old or relatively new, their ability to get a strong signal with those towers is very dependent on maintaining the current software updates within each of them. The same holds true for me. My software is programmed into my mind, body, and soul and the more I work on making them healthier , the better my connection is to God’s cellular tower. The less that I’ve worked on any of them, the more I’ve seen my conversations with God get garbled and come close to dropping altogether.

Another important thing to understand is that cell phone towers don’t reach every single inch of the globe. There are some areas which are considered dead zones and I’ve driven into many of them. I think God’s cellular tower is no different. There are some places that people can go where it becomes very hard for God to reach us. And I’ve been taking many actions now to get out of those dead zones and back into the areas where I have a much better reception with God.

There are many competing cellular companies who say they have the best signal and the most coverage. But that coverage is always dependent on maintaining those software updates and being in close proximity to their towers. For me, God is the largest cellular carrier who has one very strong tower for each of us to communicate with. I failed for many years to keep updating my software to connect with it and I often traveled into those areas where I couldn’t maintain a signal to it. Today I am making every effort to stay on top of those updates and am doing everything I can now to return to being directly below that tower. It’s there where I know my conversation with God will be the most clear, even more so than that pin drop you might hear over on the Sprint network.

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson

The God Contract

My spiritual teacher repeatedly tells me to not compare myself to others. Frankly, it’s hard not to when I see so many people living life similar to the way I once lived but with no consequences. In a conversation I had with her the other day, she reminded me that what I see on the outside with any of these people is not necessarily what is truly going on inside. After much thought to my old life, I had to agree with her statement.

For years, I lived as if I didn’t care about anything or anyone. I overindulged with cigarettes, alcohol, drugs, sex, caffeine, and money more times than I could count. I gossiped and was judgmental, negative, and greedy all too often. I usually looked at others with only one intention on what I could get out of them. And during all of those times, the worst that happened to me was having to experience anxiety and depression, which only halted my sick behaviors temporarily. What I didn’t know was just how toxic my insides had become from all of my sick actions in life. But, a day did come several years ago when I finally had grown weary enough of experiencing those mental and emotional symptoms, that I reached out to God for help.

I believe that when anyone asks God for help, that it’s like opening up a contract and accepting its terms and conditions when signed. Except in the case of God, those terms and conditions aren’t usually disclosed when we reach out for help. This has been my biggest challenge since I prayed to God with an open heart back in the Spring of 2010. I had grown so sick and tired of that mental and emotional roller coaster that I was living in then, that I humbly offered myself up to God in prayer. I asked to have me go through whatever I needed to, so as to heal from all of the toxins within me and to free me as well from all the things that drove me to those toxins in the first place.

Since then, my reality has become a full day to day onslaught of mental, emotional, and most disturbingly physical ailments. There are quite a number of days where I question my sanity and wonder like Job did in the Bible about God’s salvation. This in turn has led me to looking at those in this world who are still doing much of the same behaviors I once did and wondering why they’re not in pain. It’s then that my spiritual teacher reminds me that most of them aren’t trying to stop their toxic behaviors or heal from anything. She also helps me to remember that there was a day when I lived my life with hardly any cares in the world other than to please myself. And how in each of those days, I was becoming more and more toxic without even knowing it.

If you’ve read any of my other writings about healing in my blog, what keeps me going is hope and faith in believing that all of my pain is coming from residual toxins being cleared out of me by God. And essentially, that this is the answer to those prayers to God all those years ago when I had been so mentally and emotionally broken.

The bottom line is that it really doesn’t help me in any way to compare myself to anyone else. My teacher is totally right in that I don’t know what’s going on inside any of those people I see doing my old behaviors. What I do know though is that I asked God for help several years ago and because of that I created a contract with God. And like all contracts, I need to trust that God will honor God’s side of it. I may not like God’s terms and conditions, but in the long run, I really believe that only good will come out of it all.

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson

How Would You Spend Your Last Day Alive?

If you knew that you had one day left to live in life, how would you spend it?

Have you ever pondered this question? I know I have. Life is already too short, but I’ve tried to imagine if I suddenly knew I only had 24 hours left to live, how would I use the precious moments that remained?

There are infiniteness answers to this question and for each individual that may be posed it, they would vary. Some might party like it’s 1999 as Prince once said. Others might cry profusely and spend their last moments being depressed and alone. Then there’s those who might spend a ton of money and buy lavish things or travel to an exotic locale. There’s also those who might call all their close friends and family and tell them how much their loved. And of course there may even be some who might seek forgiveness from all all those they had hurt throughout their lives, before it becomes too late. Those are just some of all the possible paths that people might follow in their final moments alive on Earth.

While I’m not sure I know what I’d exactly do in my last hours of life if I knew I was in them, I can say for sure I know what I wouldn’t do. I’ve had many people ask me if I would ever consider breaking my sobriety if I knew I was going to die imminently. My answer to them then and now is still the same; no. Why would I want to spend my final remaining moments being numb when I’ve worked so hard in my life to go in the exact opposite direction. I can also say that I probably wouldn’t go spend a ton of money either because that never brought me much happiness in any point of my life. But if I really was to make a serious gander at what I would want to do in the final day of my life, I have a pretty good idea of what it could be only because I believe I’m already doing it.

Today, I try to look at every day, ever hour, every minute, and every second, as if it were my final moments to live. Because of that, I tell those I care about, that I love them every single time I part company or hang up the phone at the end of a conversation with them. I do my best to be selfless and giving, and also kind and considerate to any person I come across. I really work hard to remain free of judgment of things I see around me that my ego doesn’t like. I ask for forgiveness when I make mistakes because I still do make them at times. And I strive to free myself of all anger and resentments towards everyone and everything because both are poison to my soul. All of this is different from how I used to be as for the longest time in my life, I was extremely selfish and self-centered. I hurt people because I was hurt. I sought after misery and created even more of it, in and around me. So when I lost people, like my parents, to sudden deaths and was left to ponder my final moments with them, the memories that I was left with were usually of me fighting or arguing with them or being completely caught up in my selfishness. I lived with much regret for the longest of time over this until I finally made a promise to myself that I was going to do everything I could to becoming healthier, more loving, and totally devoted to God.

Through all that hard work, I really do take each day now as if it could be the last for either myself or anyone else that I may come across. If it really was going to be mine or someone else’s final day, the last thing I would want to do is fill it with anything else but light and love. So the next time you might find yourself in an argument with someone, ask yourself what if this was your’s or their’s last day alive? Would that fight you’re having be worth it then? I know what my answer would be.

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson