“The Boys In The Band”, A Superbly Acted And Directed Film With Overly Upsetting LGBTQ Stereotypes

While my partner regularly enjoys watching LGBTQ-based movies on Netflix, Amazon Prime, and Hulu, I’m not normally one to do so myself, mostly because of the stereotypical way they often end up depicting our culture. And what I mean by that, I’m referring mostly to the feminine depiction of gay men who are overly promiscuous-based, that regularly use alcohol and drugs, and tend to be vicious towards each other. Occasionally though, I still do watch one from time to time because of Oscar buzz surrounding it, which is the case with the recent release of “The Boys in the Band”.

Starring quite the cast of a number of well-known openly gay actors that include Jim Parsons (Michael), Zachary Quinto (Harold), Matt Bomer (Donald), Andrew Rannells (Larry), Charlie Carver (Cowboy), Robin de Jesus (Emory), Brian Hutchinson (Alan), Michael Benjamin Washington (Bernard), and Tuc Watkins (Hank), “The Boys in the Band” centers around a birthday party being held at Michael’s home for Harold in a 1968 New York City setting. There a surprise guest and a drunken party game leave each of the attendees dealing with unspoken feelings and buried truths.

For as much as I thought the acting and directing in this movie was superb, I really found much of the storyline overly upsetting due to the stereotypical depiction that continues to be made of the gay culture both on film and television. From the over the top flamboyancy of many of the party guests, to the cutthroat and ruthless comments they regularly made towards each other, to the drowning of their sorrows in booze and marijuana, to suggesting that most gay men don’t want to remain monogamous, I ended up cringing more than applauding the overall art direction of this film.

Please let me clarify though that there have been a number of LGBTQ-based movies that I have found spiritual connection with, that depict true love, devotion, kindness, and a desire for monogamy. Movies like “Brokeback Mountain”, “Love, Simon”, “Call Me By Your Name”, “Boys Don’t Cry”, and “Moonlight”. Why “The Boys in the Band” isn’t one I’d place with them is simply because it continues to portray that ongoing stereotypical belief that many religious folk continue to have of us who feel we can’t be monogamous, that all of us are feminine, that we all do alcohol and drugs and regularly promote the frequent use of them for our fun, and that we all are so self-loathing that all we do is put each other down in our day-to-day connections with each other.

I sometimes wonder if that’s why so many Christians interpret the Bible in the way they do towards us, saying same-sex relationships are sinful because of the way we depict them over and over and over again in films and television shows. I mean if we keep on showing the predominance of promiscuity, femininity, alcohol and drug use, and cutthroat cattiness towards each other in the majority of LGBTQ individuals in movies and television how can anyone ever know that there is a world of diversity out there in the same culture, where there does exist masculine men and feminine women having beautiful, healthy, caring, and monogamous relationships just like the one I’ve been having for many years now.

While of course there is indeed promiscuity, feminine men and masculine women, alcohol and drug use, and meanness in the LGBTQ culture, there too exists very much of the same in the heterosexual culture, but at least in that culture, there have been countless films to depict otherwise.

Maybe our culture wouldn’t have such a constant stereotypical depiction being made of it if we could start making more films and television shows that depict true unconditional love and devotion centered around both men and women who have higher principles in life and do their best to live in connection with a Higher Power guiding them.

Regardless, while “The Boys in the Band” blew me away with how well acted it was and how believable the characters actually felt, I was left in the end feeling quite saddened by the overly upsetting stereotypes that continue to be made of our culture. Hopefully one day this won’t be the case. Hopefully one day relationships just like the one I’m having with my partner Chris get depicted just as much in film and on television. Relationships where masculine men and feminine women are shown in same-sex relationships that are truly monogamous, where alcohol and drug addiction doesn’t guide them, and where unconditional love, acts of kindness, and a desire to serve God at their core exists. Maybe then, when more of those types of relationships are shown in LGBTQ-based film, people will finally stop placing those stereotypical and sin-shaming judgments upon us.

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

 

“I AM SO FILLED WITH CHRIST’S LOVE!!!”

One of my favorite exchanges of lines out of all the movies I’ve ever seen with religious overtures comes in the film “Saved” starring Jena Malone as Mary, Mandy Moore as Hilary Faye, and Macaulay Culkin as Roland, and it goes as follows:

Hilary Faye: “Mary, turn away from Satan. Jesus, he loves you.”
Mary: “You don’t know the first thing about love!”
Hilary Faye: [Throwing a Bible at Mary] “I am so filled with Christ’s love! You are just jealous of my success in the Lord!”
Mary: [Mary picking up the Bible] “This is not a weapon! You idiot!”

So, why do I consider this one of the best exchanges of lines ever in a religious movie, even if this one was in a religious comedy? Because it’s such a great depiction of why I don’t label myself a “Christian” anymore and why I maintain that I am instead simply a follower of Christ.

First of all, I just have to say this, in my humble opinion, Jesus Christ’s message wasn’t, “Hey, let’s create a whole new religion called Christianity, where we’ll have this book with a bunch of new chapters that we’re all going to follow. And hey, we’re going to use this book as a weapon at times for those we judge aren’t following it or doing things the way we think they should!” But sadly, that indeed is what much of Christianity has become and what many other religions have become as well around the world.

That’s why when I’m asked now what my faith is, I tell people I follow the true teachings of Christ to the best of my ability, which at their bare essence was not to follow a set of rules and laws, and create judgments and opinions from them. Rather, it was merely two principles.

“To love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and mind and to love others as much as you love yourself.”

But, somehow, our world has drifted so far away from this and instead created a complexity that Jesus himself came two millennia ago to abolish. And sadly, now I’m seeing this complexity even in this presidential race.

Everyone seems to be waiting with baited breath presently on who’ll become our next president for the following four years, and many of them who label themselves as Christians are angrily shouting to the masses about who Christ would want as our next president and who carries the best values of Christianity. But do you know what I think? I think Christ wouldn’t have cared less about who our next president is going to be. He’d tell us all that the real work is not at that level and instead is within us to love each other no matter what our differences are.

That’s why every time I watch this Republican versus Democratic battle play itself out on the news or in social media or even amongst friends and loved ones, I think of Mandy Moore in Saved throwing her Bible at Jena Malone. The fact is, none of this is practicing the unconditional love that Christ came here to spread. Judging someone by saying, “It’s in the Bible” isn’t being unconditionally loving and doing so only makes the person sound like they’re speaking on behalf of God. I know many Christians who think it’s ok to do this, simply because, “The Bible says so.” But, no matter what way you put it, condemning a person using the Bible, or any other spiritual book for that matter, isn’t being unconditionally loving, it’s judging.

So, how did we all get so far away from truly loving and embracing each other like Christ once asked from all of his followers?

My answer would be fear, as to embrace everyone just as they are, no matter what walk of life they come from can be quite difficult for many, especially when it feels so different from what one’s mind thinks should be the norm. That’s why I feel the Bible has become such the tool of segregation and division in the world these days, as it’s sent far too many people into great places of darkness when passages get thrown at them, when they’re told they’re sinners in the eyes of God. I often feel that it’s religion itself that continues to drive our world into the very darkness that many religious people want to prevent.

Because of that very reason, the message I do my best to live now is to love all people, from all walks of life, to love followers of Trump and followers of Biden, to love both the gay and the straight and everyone in between, to love not only those who worship like me, but those who may not worship at all or worship quite differently, and to even love those who don’t or won’t ever love me because of who I am, because in their eyes I’m an abomination to God.

So, until I see Christianity living out the true message that Christ brought of loving each other unconditionally and until I see all those Bibles and those passages from it not being thrown anymore at others like Mandy Moore did so comically well in the film Saved, I remain simply a follower of Christ and won’t label myself as a Christian. And, you know what, I think God is quite ok with that, because Christ wasn’t the one who created Christianity anyway, human beings did.

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

“Words On Bathroom Walls”, A Truly Stunning Masterpiece About Schizophrenia For A New Generation

With as many health issues as I have, including some mental and emotional-based ones, I most certainly can relate to the plight of others who face their own health challenges on a daily basis. Maybe that’s why my heart connected so much to the very first movie I finally got to see in theaters since COVID shut them all down back in March of this year.

“Words On Bathroom Walls” is the name of the movie I saw and is a stunning masterpiece of a film about a teenage boy named Adam (played incredibly well by Charlie Plummer) who gets diagnosed with schizophrenia midway through his senior year of high school. Talented on so many levels, especially in the kitchen where he frequently recreates culinary masterpieces without any formal training, Adam’s sole desire is to go on to chef school and eventually, own his own restaurant. But after a severe schizophrenic breakdown in chemistry class causes his best friend to get seriously injured by some chemicals, Adam gets removed from his regular high school and instead, is enrolled into a local Catholic high school with the help of his mother Beth (played by Molly Parker), a person who never gives up on trying to find a cure for her son’s mental disorder. Conditions for Adam’s enrollment are made quite clear from the onset by head nun, Sister Catherine, (played by Beth Grant). He must maintain an A average and remain medicated and stable. Having had such a terrible experience at his former high school, Adam vows to take his medicine and do his best to keep his mental health issues a secret at his new school, but it becomes apparent how difficult that may be upon meeting Maya Arnez (played by Taylor Russell). That’s mostly because Adam continues to react to his ongoing schizophrenic presences whenever she is around, which include Joaquin (played by Devon Bostick), Rebecca (played by AnnaSophia Robb), a person known only as the Bodyguard (played by Lobo Sebastian), and a dark and sinister voice that often tells Adam to do bad things to himself. Will Adam be able to keep his secret and finish high school without any incidents or will his mental disorder ruin everything, including his cooking school dreams? “Words On Bathroom Walls” is most assuredly “The Beautiful Mind” of this millennia and a far younger generation.

Overall, this movie truly touched me. With every passing feeling of helplessness Adam felt due to his schizophrenia, I felt it too. Living with my own set of mental health issues and physical limitations due to chronic pain, I often have felt like an outcast in society myself, unable to ever achieve any of my deepest dreams and desires in life. And while I personally have never dealt with schizophrenia, “Words On Bathroom Walls” really helped me to understand the disorder as much as “A Beautiful Mind” with Russell Crowe did for me eons ago.

Living with chronic physical pain is one thing, and far easier to deal with than living with a mental disorder that controls just about every aspect of my life. The hypochondria and OCD I regularly battle robs me of becoming mindful and present, like on my recent vacation I took with my partner Chris.

So, I absolutely have a lot more compassion now for all the souls on this planet who continue to struggle with schizophrenia. I’m thankful for all of you and for enjoying “Words On Bathroom Walls” as much as it did. Playing out much like a John Hughes movie, I highly recommend seeing this film, as it’s sure to become a classic for a new generation.

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawsson