Category: Grateful Heart Monday

Welcome to my last Grateful Heart Monday entry in a series that began years ago that has truly touched my life and countless others along the way, as I begin my final week of writing for TheTwelfthStep before I take a much-needed break from it.

I’ve worked hard on expressing gratitude in a life that has been extremely challenging over the past decade. What my mind and body has endured has been beyond words at times, yet somehow deep within me, I continue to find ways to thank God for what I still have. And one of those ways was through this Grateful Heart Monday series, where I wanted to show the rest of the world, and not just privately through my journals, that expressing gratitude is an important part of living life.

I’ve now written 260 articles on gratitude since I began this series, and could write countless others, I’m sure. While I will continue to go on expressing gratitude day in and day out in all the ways I have been doing for years now, it’s time to come to a close for this one at least and I will miss writing this series probably more so than all those other ways combined.

While it’s one thing to write down 10 statements of gratitude within my journals each day over the past 15 years, finding enough words from a single piece of gratitude to compose an entire article on it has most assuredly been a challenging venture, but a very rewarding one.

I cannot express how important remaining grateful has been for my spiritual journey and my spiritual growth. It may very well be the foundation of what has kept me going at times, when everything has felt so damn upside down in my life for far too many years now. It may also be the very reason why I still have the unshakeable faith I do in God, something that someone I love deeply had to remind me of and who brings a glow within me each time they do.

I find myself now looking for God in more and more things by continuing to practice gratitude in ways that include what this series has been. Because if you live a very ungrateful life, complaining about this and that, judging this and that, and pointing fingers at what you think is wrong in this world, you probably aren’t going to seek God or anything Greater than yourself.

This is why I love being grateful and that God led me to starting this Grateful Heart Monday series to share with the rest of the world something that has truly touched my heart and soul along the way. As I end my final entry to this series, I pray each of you will continue practicing remaining grateful in your own lives, as I know in doing so, you’ll find a much Higher Path, a much Higher Calling, and yourself living in much Higher Ways…

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

With this being the first Monday of the new year, I wanted to express gratitude about still having gratitude mainly because of the number of people who told me a few weeks ago that I really needed to start practicing gratitude when they had no idea how long I’ve been practicing gratitude and never stopped.

In 2007, the very first person who told me I needed to start practicing gratitude was my first sponsor in 12 Step recovery. Her name was Lorraine, and she was amazing. When I met her, I was extremely self-piteous in my life and not doing a single thing about. When she suggested I begin writing a daily list of what I’m grateful for and also told me it would change my life in doing so, I didn’t balk at her idea because I had been 12 years sober at that point and miserable. So, I began writing a list each night before going to bed of at least 5 things to be grateful for, which soon became ten after I saw how much she had been right. I had a lot to be grateful for then and still do. And I’ve never missed a single day ever since I began her assignment in 2007, which by my calculations from all these gratitude lists I’ve pulled together, I now have over 547,500 things to be grateful for since beginning this grateful journey 15 years ago.

In light of that, I just want to put it out there that I’m also grateful to know it’s ok to feel what I am feeling even when I am grateful. Because what I’m going through now isn’t because I’m not being grateful or because I’m living in self-pity or moping in those “woe is me’s”. It’s because my heart hurts incredibly due to grieving so many things at once.

I fight to live every day, to be something my parents never were and practicing gratitude is just one of those things I do to keep myself going. Most people don’t know all the details of the spiritual journey I’ve been on and probably never will. But many continue to make judgments of what they think I need to get over my sadness whenever I express it.

That’s why I’m grateful to say on this first Grateful Heart Monday of 2023, that it’s ok to be sad, it’s ok to be down, and it’s ok to be grieving. Because even though I practice gratitude every single day for over 15 years now, I’m also grateful to allow myself to fall apart, to wear my emotions on my sleeve, and be transparent with the world. Because I’m authentic today as I emulate that it’s not always about being grateful so much as it’s about just being ok being whatever you’re feeling. And I’m grateful for not only being a grateful person in life, but for also being true to whatever I’m feeling, even if does make everyone uncomfortable…

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Today’s Grateful Heart Monday entry on TheTwelfthStep is dedicated to a piece of gratitude I’m presently experiencing in life and that’s for still having enough hope and faith in God that the present story I’m living out isn’t where my life ends.

The last time I experienced the end of a long-term relationship, it was with my ex-partner Jerry. When it ended, I lost so much hope and faith in God that I opted to write my own story for a few years that was filled with nothing but countless sexual and love addicted experiences and a suicide attempt to end it all. It was a very dark time and one I don’t wish to repeat ever again. It came after seven years of being with Jerry, the first four of which I thought were the beginning of the rest of my life with someone I deeply loved.

I attach very strongly to someone I fall in love with, and tend to give my heart fully to that person, and believe that is the way it’s supposed to be a in every life-long relationship between two people who are in love with each other. And walking away from someone when your heart has become that intertwined with another is extremely painful. Every time it’s happened to me in my life, I’ve sought out very low vibrational patterns to cope. In other words, each time my heart has been broken, I’ve sought something to numb it and avoid feeling the pain of it all. But this time I’m not because I’m choosing something Higher, something Greater, to guide me through it. While I may not see any clearing on the horizon whatsoever presently, and indeed see more darkness than anything it seems at times, I have enough hope and faith in a brighter day that’s coming and that alone keeps me going.

Ironically, there have been plenty who have tempted me lately to resort to old addictive patterns. I don’t want massages or dates or sexual hook-ups nor do I want to talk about sex or anything of the sort. It only turns me off even worse to anyone who brings this subject material up, because that’s not what I need most in life right now. What I need most is to strengthen my hope and faith in God and for unconditional love to come my way to help my heart heal.

The fact is, I don’t want to live in any lower vibrational patterns anymore in life. I don’t want sex talk, or hook-ups, or to do anything that will only make me feel worse in the long run. Instead, I am choosing to live by my hope and faith that this pain will go away the more I feel it and deal with it, because eventually I know I’ll heal from it.

So, what is my next chapter in life? I don’t know. Honestly, I feel trapped on so many levels. But what I do know is that I love God enough to believe in a beautiful story that’s still being written, one that’s manifesting for me and within me. And knowing that and believing that provides me enough hope and faith to keep going, one day at a time, until the joy of it all is finally revealed.

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson