Grateful Heart Monday

It’s Grateful Heart Monday, a time to express a little gratitude to start my week off on a positive note, which for today is for my friend Karen W, someone who has been a huge asset to not just my 12 Step recovery life, but also my partner Chris’s as well.

When I first met Karen, it was back in the fall of 2015. I was attending a meeting for the first time, Perrysburg Staying Sober, which would eventually become my home group in Alcoholics Anonymous. Around that time was when I seriously began struggling with my health issues and felt like I had hardly anyone to talk to in this area who would really listen. When I asked Karen if she would meet me for coffee, she said she’d love to. Ever since, we’ve done many coffee dates together, where she’s been a great listener, a person of compassion, and someone who also has given me a swift kick in the butt when I truly needed one.

One of the reasons why I treasure Karen is because she’s one of those who doesn’t beat around the bush, who doesn’t sugar coat things, and says it how it is. Honestly, I get so frustrated in life with those who can’t just be straightforward with me, but thankfully Karen is not one of them. I always believe that a real friend tells you the truth when asking for their opinion about something you’re going through, instead of offering some sort of watered-down version of it. Plenty of times, Karen has pointed out the exact areas where I needed to take a deeper look into and led to further spiritual growth within me.

I don’t have very many close friends in Toledo, but I do consider Karen one of them and someone I could rely on if I needed a friend to come to my aid. Unafraid to show her feelings, honest to the core, and someone who keeps their integrity, Karen has demonstrated many qualities that I seek in a friend, of which I’m very grateful.

But the thing I’m far more grateful for when it comes to Karen deals with my partner Chris. Over a year ago now, I asked Karen if she might consider sponsoring Chris in another 12 Step recovery program that she had been a part of, because Chris had been struggling finding someone to take him through the Steps for a good while. Thankfully, she agreed to and a wonderful connection has been formed between the two now. Even better is the fact that I’ve seen an incredible amount of spiritual growth in Chris ever since he began working with her. I don’t take that lightly one bit and am so very thankful that she has blessed not just my own recovery, but Chris’s as well.

With over 33 years of sobriety and recovery herself, and plenty of spiritual depth, Karen definitely demonstrates the 12th Step principle of helping others, not just as a sponsor for people like Chris, but also as a friend to people like me as well.

I’m grateful for Karen today and thank God that He brought her into my life for many positive reasons and look forward to her continuing to be a part of both my life and my partner’s…

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Grateful Heart Monday

Welcome to this week’s Grateful Heart Monday, a time I always reflect on gratitude from my life, which for today is for a woman named Martha Harris, who was once my therapist for many, many years.

Many eons ago, in a life lived in the Northern Virginia area, just outside Washington, D.C., I was a very scared and somewhat closeted individual who was in desperate need of some therapeutic help. At the time, I was also dealing with an active alcoholic mother and a broad range of mental, emotional, and physical health issues as well. One day, a couple I knew through a church I had been attending gave me a recommendation for a therapist that they had personally seen and found much benefit from. Her name was Martha Harris, and her practice was called Banyan Counseling.

Not too long after I received that recommendation, I got in contact with Martha and scheduled my first visit with her, which just so happened to be in the basement of her home, something I found great comfort in, as I rarely have ever felt comfortable in most professional medical offices.

There, I’d quickly learn during my first visit that Martha specialized in LGBTQ issues and being a lesbian herself, put me immediately at ease to fully open up about that part of my life. She was absolutely quite gifted in helping those struggling in that arena and was also someone gifted in working through gay couple’s issues, something I had plenty of in my last relationship.

One thing that always impressed me with Martha as well was her willingness to take her practice out into the world. What I mean by that is when I experienced a few roadblocks during my many years working with her, she’d come to various events I was at to observe me in my real life. Case in point, she actually came to my 30thbirthday bash at my home, which proved to be a great benefit in my therapy sessions that came after that.

But, the thing I’m most grateful for when I think of Martha, is that she was the one who taught me an alternative healing practice that helped me to heal a large number of energy blockages within my mind and body. Through applied kinesiology, I’d learn through muscle testing where many of those blockages were and each time they were found, she’d use a technique called Thought Field Therapy (TFT) to help heal them. TFT is a process that uses specialized “tapping” with the fingers at meridian points on the body and saying various affirmations at the same time, all to help remove various blockages within a person’s system.

It was also through my many visits to Martha that helped me to make it through my mother’s tragic passing, the loss of my last long-term relationship, and the financial failure I faced when my bed and breakfast business went completely under.

Martha was a part of my therapeutic life from mid 2000 to the end of 2007 and during that long period, I saw her at least once a week and sometimes even twice a week, where she always provided me a sliding scale for my visits, and made me feel like I was in my own home every time I had a session with her. I never felt uncomfortable with her nor did any of my sessions ever feel wasted, which is something to be said for the countless therapists I saw at various points in my life that I can’t even remember their names anymore or what they helped me with.

Something I appreciated with Martha as well is how she consistently accommodated my travel schedule and even saw me for 2-hour visits at times. Always compassionate, full of unconditional love and kindness, and non-judgmental in every way possible, Martha was definitely the first therapist I ever came across who I actually looked forward to seeing and opening up to.

Sadly, I’m not in contact with Martha anymore, as her own health issues led her to retire and distance herself from the majority of those she knew many years ago. And while it’s been a long time now since she and I last spoke to each other and even though hundreds of miles now separate her home from where I reside, my heart still feels quite close to hers, as she truly touched and blessed me in ways I will never be able to repay, which is indeed why I’m beginning this week full of gratitude for a beautiful soul named Martha Harris.

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Grateful Heart Monday

Good day and welcome to another Grateful Heart Monday, where gratitude gets expressed to start the week off on a positive note, which for today is for my dear friend Keith Genest who recently passed away.

Twenty-one years ago, at the young age of 26, I found myself one evening venturing into a bar in downtown Washington D.C. with a few sober friends, solely to listen to some music and hang out on a random weekend evening. There I’d meet a towering heavyset individual at the door, a bouncer named Keith, whom I had to even look slightly up to at his 6’7” stature. It didn’t take long for Keith and I to connect, with his sense of humor, his light-hearted nature, and his kindness and generosity pouring out right from the start.

A week later, Keith and I were out on a date where I’d really begin to get to know a wonderfully warm-hearted individual, who most certainly wasn’t afraid to show his emotions and often wore them on his sleeve. After it became clear to me that he and I were better meant to be the best of friends, I soon got to know one of Keith’s most positive traits, that being someone I could trust with anything.

Keith was indeed a loyal friend, someone I could spill my heart out to and have a shoulder to cry on if need be. Someone who didn’t judge me, even when I lived deep in addictions for much of our friendship, especially early on. No matter how many painful job losses and changes I went through, no matter how many partners I cycled through, no matter how crazy my selfish behaviors got due to my addictive lifestyle, Keith remained a constant, always there to show me how much he loved and cared about me.

When I suggested he join a spiritual men’s group I believed might help him on his own spiritual path, that being the ManKind Project (MKP), Keith didn’t bat an eye and quickly signed up. Soon we were not only the best of friends, but also brothers as well, and I had much joy in watching Keith soar within MKP where he dedicated substantial personal time to a program that helped broken kids find a healthier way into adulthood.

When I eventually moved away from Washington D.C., Keith continued to support me in all my endeavors like coming to visit me at the remote bed and breakfast I owned for a spell. You see, that’s just the type of guy Keith was, someone who stuck by your side through thick and thin, always doing his best to be there for you, supporting new ventures and achievements, and offering heartfelt consolation when needed.

After moving to the Boston, Massachusetts vicinity for a number of years, Keith made sure to never lose touch with me and was far better than I in maintaining contact. In no time at all on any given phone conversation, Keith would have me laughing or vice versa, and it was as if no time had passed. I spent a number of years travelling back and forth from Massachusetts to the Washington, D.C. area to connect with my friends like Keith. About every six months or so, I’d visit and stay at either his place or a mutual friend, where we’d get together for a big game night, which Keith always loved. His big, booming voice, and his infectious laughter, was such a blessing to those fun evenings.

I always hated saying goodbye to him after those brief visits, but I knew he was only a phone call or Skype chat away, which quite often we did. When I moved to Toledo to be with my current partner Chris, God blessed my life by having an employment change bring Keith to Chicago, a mere 3 ½ hours or so from me. I spent several weekends with Keith during his few years there and got to know a city I didn’t ultimately know through his eyes. On one such visit, he took me to Michael Jordan’s restaurant for my birthday, a place I had frequently dreamed about going to, which turned out to be quite the memorable evening.

I must say that even during the last bit of my addictive lifestyle years, when my selfishness and self-centeredness hit an all-time high, when I took everyone and everything for granted, Keith was one of the rare people in my life who still remained by my side. Crying with me when I ached due to all my body pain, laughing with me at my stupid jokes, and doing his best to lift my spirits on so many down days to help keep me going, honestly, it’s hard to imagine a life now where Keith isn’t going to be an active part of it.

When Keith’s health began to go rapidly downhill about two years ago, it was really hard to see, as he was one of the main strongholds in my life on so many levels. As his body size began to shrink and his uplifting demeanor go by the wayside, I still saw the same friend I made two decades prior doing his best to remain my close friend. Keith would move to the Kansas City area not too long after where his sister would take care of him to his very last breath. And from what I can tell, it seems like loyalty and unconditional love runs deep in their blood. My last call to Keith was quite the emotional one, both for him and for me. While I didn’t know it was going to be our last, he made sure to tell me how much he loved me and how he always considered me to be his best friend.

Keith Genest was truly a beautiful soul who brought happiness and love into so many lives, especially mine. Fiercely loyal, funny, charming, strong, and yet deeply in touch with his feminine side, Keith will permanently remain a part of my heart and someone I will always be grateful for. I pray and live with hope now that God may have him become one of my guardian angels, because if there’s anyone I could ever trust and rely on getting me through the worst of the worst and the scariest of scary, it’s Keith. I love you Keith and pray you are finally experiencing the peace and love I know you absolutely deserve and I know I’ll see you again one day when God says it’s my turn to come home…

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson