I haven’t travelled anywhere overnight since I went on vacation to the Cayman Islands in the beginning of 2016, because frankly, it became too difficult for me due to my physical pain levels and the anxiety I had surrounding it. It wasn’t fun anymore to go on any trips so I made a vow at the end of that last vacation that I wouldn’t go away anywhere until I felt a lot better.
But that all changed a few months ago when my Spirit told me during a prayer and meditation session that I needed to go see my nephew Luke for his 5th birthday at the end of August. Seeing that I always do my best to follow any Higher Guidance I receive, I opted to heed this call and am actually flying out today to the Nashville, Tennessee area to go be with my family and celebrate with my nephew. While I’m excited to see him, as he really doesn’t know me given the last time he saw me was when he was under 2 years old, I’m also having to face a few fears going on this trip.
The first deals with the whole airport and flying thing, as standing for long periods in those security checkpoints and walking for long distances around the airport is never fun on my body at all. The last time I travelled, I had to get a wheelchair to deal with the pain, which was very humbling. But even more humbling was when the airline-agent questioned me about what my disability actually was when I asked for early boarding, because they didn’t see any real signs of one at first glance.
The second is due to the fact that my partner isn’t going with me on this trip, as he can’t get out of work. Although I used to go on many trips by myself in the past and totally enjoyed them, being by myself now without any in person support by someone who understands the pain I go through is difficult, especially because odd things often arise with my health that usually require the help of my partner to deal with them.
The third relates to the last time I visited my sister’s family, which was about three years ago now, as it didn’t go over so well, because back then was precisely when all this physical pain and mental anguish really began to get to me. That in turn led me to isolate more than not while there, spending most of my time on the phone getting support from my recovery circles instead of being present with them, and they just weren’t able to understand that.
And lastly, speaking of recovery, the final fear I have surrounding this trip relates to the past addictions I’m now sober from. As sad as it is to admit this, much of the reason why I used to love traveling so much alone is because I used to act out in addictive behaviors on most of those trips. So, I’m sure that my ego will try to convince me once again to do that, especially if I’m dealing with any type of high pain levels.
So that’s all the fears I’m facing at the present moment with this trip, but thankfully I have something much bigger than I to help me during it and that’s God! Because I believe it’s God who actually led me to go on this trip in the first place and in light of that, I know He’ll be present to help me overcome any of these fears if they should arise.
Nevertheless, I would like to also ask each of you to please pray for me to receive strength, peace, and joy during this trip, as I walk through each of my fears of traveling to be with my nephew Luke for his 5th birthday. And know as well, that as I place a few “Thought For The Day” entries about trusting in God these next few days in my blog, that it’s mostly to give me some encouragement, just in case I might need a little of that while I’m away! 🙂
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson