The Spin And Dry Cycle Of A Person Suffering From An Addiction

Currently there are more than forty different types of detox centers and programs for those suffering from addictions located near where I live. And it is definitely a heart-wrenching challenge each time I go to speak at any one of them about my own recovery from the addiction-laden life I once lived. That’s only because of the constant “spin and dry cycle” I see people funneling through time and time again at most of them.

A “spin and dry cycle” is a metaphor used mostly in, but not limited to, the alcohol and drug addiction recovery-based communities. What it actually refers to is the active alcoholic or drug addict who goes through a detox center or program for one sole purpose. And that’s to take a quick “spin” through it just to sober up and become “dry” for a short while, only to go back out and do it all over again some time later.

For the past few years I’ve been visiting at least one of these detox centers each week with various 12 Step groups to spread my experience, strength, and hope in my recovery from addictions. There, it seems as if I always recognize familiar faces and while I’m glad to see these people haven’t perished from their addictions, it breaks my heart to see them keep repeating this cycle over and over again. I have learned over time from many of them that they always have any number of reasons why they keep going in and out of these detox centers and programs on a regular basis. But in each case, I have found it really all boils down to one specific reason and that’s the fact that their pain hasn’t gotten great enough for them to stop this repetitive detox shuffle. And unfortunately, there are many things that make this advantageous for them to keep doing so.

I have discovered that most of those reasons frequently deal with them seeking the basic necessities of life. Case in point, take those suffering from addictions who might become starving or thirsty, many of them will head to a detox center or program just for the three square meals served each day, in addition to the snacks, bottled water, juices, milk, and coffee that’s readily available for them there all the time. Or take those suffering from addictions who might become homeless, many of them will head to a detox center, especially during the cold New England months, just to get a warm and usually quite comfortable bed that’s waiting for them there. I’ve even known of those suffering from addictions who have lost all their clothing and ended up going to a detox center just to be provided items to wear and take with them when they leave.

I have often wondered if the system is a big part of the problem that leads people to living in this spin and dry cycle. Most of the people I see doing this have state healthcare which allows them to go multiple times in a single year to one of these detox centers or programs. Also, all a person really needs to do to get into many of them is just call around and see if there is an open bed. When there is, the only thing they have to do is show up drunk or high and they’ll be allowed in. Thus both of these situations perpetuate the problem.

I’m not sure what the solution is to be perfectly honest. While I think these detox centers and programs are amazing on what they offer, most who attend them seem to care less about the recovery side of them and instead focus on getting those basic necessities. I went with a few people in recovery the other night to one of these detox centers that was for men suffering from alcohol and drug addiction. There I watched almost every person ignore us as we spoke about our experience, strength, and hope in recovery by either falling asleep, carrying on their own conversations, reading a book, getting up and walking around, or doing something else that prevented them from hearing our messages of hope. Gratefully though, one man did and he thanked each of us at the end of the meeting by saying he heard what what he needed to hear that night. And it’s my hope that he’ll be one of those who ends up avoiding that spin and dry cycle in the future because of it.

While it may be frustrating to me when I see anyone going through this “spin and dry cycle” time and time again, I still continue to show up and speak at these detox centers hoping to help someone break free from it. It actually took a friend of mine over 60 complete cycles and a tremendous amount of pain before he finally broke free from it, so I know there is hope for even the toughest of cases. I pray on most days now for recovery for all those in the world who choose to continue living in this cycle and I also hope for their sake, that they’ll one day break free from it long before it ever ends up taking their life…

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson

A Healthy Geographical Move Versus Geographical Cures

As of the present moment, I’m 41 years old and I’ve already moved my life ten times. While a few of those household moves were justified, many were not. In those cases, they were more about running away from the things that felt too out of control in my life and hoping the next place would be a whole lot better. In approximately two months though, I’ll be making my eleventh move and it’s something I’ve been sitting on the fence with for quite awhile. That’s solely for the reason because I wanted to be sure I wasn’t attempting to make yet another geographical cure in my life.

In the recovery world, a geographical cure is a nickname fondly given to the action where a person moves their entire life somewhere completely new and far away from their old life where many problems usually existed for them. Unfortunately, it took me a long time and many household moves to figure out that this never works. While there are many valid reasons why a person might choose to move from one place to another, running away from their problems isn’t one of them although I often convinced myself it was.

I lived a very problematic life for several decades creating a lot of drama in all my affairs. And ironically, the word “affairs” is just one of the many things I got myself involved in that created that drama. On top of that, I frequently made enemies and upset friends everywhere I went because of the way I was living my life. This generally led me to have the tendency to believe that moving myself to a completely new place would allow me to start over. I basically was always looking for a clean slate, but given the fact that I never worked on most of my character defects, that clean slate became pretty dirty in a very short amount of time wherever I lived. Until I became willing to change and work through all of them, it didn’t matter where I moved or travelled to, as I just created the same mess everywhere. This is why I’ve been waiting patiently on making my decision to do yet another move, with this one being from Massachusetts to Ohio where my partner currently resides.

Many people who get into intimate relationships, especially long distance ones like mine, think their lives will be all the better if they move in together sooner than later. In my former days, I allowed myself to believe this and would often be living with someone I had been dating for less than six months. In some cases, this might have actually worked for two healthy people. But in the case of someone like I once was, who was toxic and troubled, moving in with a person I had been dating for such a short period of time just made our lives together toxic and troubled. That is the precise reason why each of those relationships failed and sadly, I just ran away each time they did to somewhere new thinking I could start over fresh.

With my connection to my Higher Power, I am grateful to see now how this pattern of running away to somewhere new was never healthy for me. This is why I’ve stayed in Massachusetts for the past six years, as here I’ve been forcing myself to work through the majority of my character defects that would always rear their ugly heads no matter where I lived. While I know life can’t be perfect and everyday problems will always arise, I haven’t made the move yet to my partner’s home because I wanted to make sure I was healthy enough to do that. Truthfully, the invitation for me to move in with my partner has been out there since June of 2012, but up until just a few days ago, I knew I wasn’t ready for that. Thankfully, that’s all changed now. My Higher Power has shown me I’ve worked through enough of my own character defects to make this move in good conscience and not for a geographical cure.

The point I’ve been trying to make in all of this is that geographical cures never work. If your life is seriously troubled and you are thinking about moving somewhere else far away because of it, I encourage you to take a moment, breathe, and think again about making that decision. There’s a strong chance that you will just re-create your seriously troubled life all over again no matter where you go. While it may hide it’s horrible face for a period of time in that new location you choose to go to, it’s quite inevitable that your problems will only resurface again some time later there. So save yourself the hassle and expenses involved in moving and instead seek your Higher Power to work through your problems where you are now. I can promise you in doing so that your Higher Power will let you know when the time is right to actually make a healthy geographical move, just like my Higher Power did for me.

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson

Living Totally Within My Means

When each of my parents passed away at different times many years back, I was left with a nice chunk of money by each to use as I wished. For many years to come after that, I just blew through one set of dollars after another trying to fill the emptiness I had within. Soon I lost my primary means of income and became unemployed, except I never changed my spending habits. I continued to live lavishly with the money that was left me, trying to fill that hole I felt in my soul. It never worked and eventually my Higher Power helped me to come to that realization. Thankfully, all of that has changed now as I am doing everything I can these days to make sure I’m living totally within my means.

For a guy like me who lived for over a decade buying what I wanted, traveling where I wanted, and essentially consuming what I wanted, going in the exact opposite direction of that proved to be quite difficult. My ego fought me every step along the way always trying to convince me to spend money on something that I didn’t really need. The way it did this was no different then how it did it with any of the other things I became addicted to.

This will make you feel better, you should buy it!”

This was often what I heard inside my head and carrying a credit card with a limit of $10,000 didn’t help. My Higher Power helped me to see that addiction based pattern where I had an endless procession of highs and lows that came with buying one thing after another. At first it was great to get something so coveted like the latest and greatest cell phone on the market. But after a few weeks to months, the buzz from that purchase was gone and I was off and running, looking for the next cool thing to buy. When I did this enough, eventually that buzz was lasting less and less until I was finding myself buying something new every single day. This is no different than what happened to me with alcohol and drugs. It’s no different than what happened to me with sex and love. And truly, it’s no different than what happens in any type of addiction.

Now that my Higher Power is helping me to see all of those ugly sides of addictions so clearly, I’m able to resist any ego urges I have to spend money that I really don’t have. In fact, to be totally honest, I’d love to acquire a new Iphone right now given mine is over three years old. But my spirit gently keeps reminding me that the one I have is still functioning just fine, anytime I start thinking about buying a new one. Eventually, I know this phone will probably break thus leading me to replace it, and that is another area my Higher Power has given me growth in when it comes to living within my means.

For all those years where my spending was out of control, I would always buy the best of the best when something broke. So the replacement models I sought after were consistently the most uber-expensive ones with the coolest bells and whistles. I can’t afford to do that anymore and thankfully, my Higher Power has helped me to realize this. In fact my partner and I had to purchase a mattress the other day because the coils in our existing one were mostly ruined and causing back problems for the both of us. So we started looking for a new one by going to a local furniture store. There we spent a whole afternoon looking at Tempurpedic and Serta memory foam beds beds as they have been known to be great for people with back pain. Unfortunately, their cost also ranged from $1700 to $4000 for a single mattress! The old me would have succumbed to all those pressure tactics the store employees kept giving us and I would have opened up a new credit line and financed one of those ridiculously pricey beds. I’m so grateful to say though that the new me was able to walk out of that store with my partner without buying anything. Instead, we decided to buy a knock off imitation memory foam bed for a couple of hundred dollars off the internet. While I know on some level you get what you pay for, I also know how important it is to live within my means these days.

I do see things all the time that I’d like to have where I once would have purchased them without blinking an eye. Whether it be that new Iphone or one of those extremely pricey memory foam beds, I know now that there will always be something out there trying to allure me to live beyond my means. Through my Higher Power’s guidance, I can and have consistently resisted all of those temptations. I don’t have multiple credit lines open anymore nor do I have a house full of unused gadgets and gizmos. In fact, I have to say, I’m quite happy still with my old Iphone and am very grateful today that my Higher Power helps me to keep living totally within my means.

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson