Category: The Spiritual Side Of Sexuality

Sometimes I just don’t understand why people think the way they do? I say that only because a close friend of mine recently informed me of a discrimination issue brewing directly in his backyard in Springfield, Missouri.

It appears the issue began back in October when the city became the 14^th community in the state to extend protections to gays, lesbians, and other sexual-identity minorities in the areas of employment, housing, and accommodations. It was added to the city’s already existing nondiscrimination clause that includes race, religion, and disability. While that seems like such a great achievement and a huge step forward in overall equality, the Assembly of God and Springfield Citizens United openly denounced the legislation once it passed. Since then, they have also been able to garner enough signatures from the surrounding community to bring it to the next ballot for a public vote.

I’m sure you’re probably wondering what the driving force is for them to want to overturn this new legislation. It’s actually pretty simple in that they believe it now forces everyone in Springfield with deeply held religious beliefs to have to go against them. For example, it would require a deeply conservative Christian owner of an apartment complex who believes homosexuality is against the word of God, to have to accept a gay couple seeking housing. But if the legislation were overturned, it would end up protecting that owner by allowing him to deny housing to that gay couple.

While I find this deeply disturbing to my very core, I did have a good laugh after reading one citizen’s comment on a Springfield news article that reported on this story. It said the title of that article should have been “Religious bigots vow to repeal law so they can continue to legally discriminate.” And although I found their comment amusing, there is definitely a sad truth to it.

Our country has gone through this very thing so many times before, you would think we’d finally all have spiritually woken up to the travesty of denying rights to our fellow human beings. Women, people of color, people of non-Christian based religions, and disabled people have all fought for equal rights over time, having been denied things they never should have been in the first place.

The more I thought about this growing issue in Springfield, the more I wondered if the opposition to the new legislation would support denying equal rights for employment, housing, and accommodation to a woman, a non-white person, or someone in a wheelchair? Probably not, but that’s only because the main argument they’re using is how homosexuality goes against the word of God.

Frankly, I’m so tired of this issue. I’m so tired of the Bible being used as a weapon to support discrimination. I’m so tired of people speaking on behalf of God or Jesus and stating what they do or do not support. As far as I’m concerned, they both represent but one thing, unconditional love.

So for all those people out there that support the Assembly of God or Springfield Citizens United in their quest to overturn this anti-discrimination legislation, please take some time in serious prayer and meditation to ponder one final question. Would God or Jesus, if they were truly filled with nothing but unconditional love, really deny a man or woman a job, housing, or accommodations solely because of their sexual orientation. To me the answer is pretty clear. I just hope the rest of the world will one day see that for themselves as well…

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson

I knew a tremendous amount of people during my college years at Rochester Institute of Technology (RIT). In fact, I was a regular partygoer with most of them during my drinking and drugging heydays. Sometimes I’ve wondered if that’s precisely the reason why I never was able to fortify and deep and long-lasting friendships with any of them back then. But other times I’ve questioned whether it’s due to an action I took after graduating, which was to come out of the closet. Ironically, the latter of which was confirmed recently when a former college-drinking buddy resurfaced in my life named Frank.

When I met Frank, I wasn’t out of the closet. In fact I was only dating women at the time and had no real idea about my sexuality. While there were plenty of moments I had my doubts about my sexual attractions then, I usually took them as the result of my excessive drinking and drugging, especially given the ways my brothers in Phi Kappa Psi acted when they drank as well. In all honesty, I assumed it was just being one of the guys.

It was because of Phi Kappa Psi though that I befriended Frank, as he was a friend of one of my fraternity brothers. In time, the two of us started hanging out and partied quite a bit together. For the majority of a good portion of one of my college years, things remained that way until he became more serious about his academia and I more serious about my growing addiction to alcohol and drugs. Soon, we only saw each other in passing on campus, as I was always off to the next party, while he tried to focus more on getting his degree.

Six months after graduating, I was working in Fairfax, Virginia and at the bottom of my alcoholism and drug addiction. I hadn’t spoken with Frank for at least nine months, maybe more. He was one of those I had begun to regret losing contact with at that point in my life. I started having many regrets like this as I tried to sober up, because I realized my disease had pushed many good friends away just like Frank.

After I finally got clean and sober from alcohol and drugs, I started facing my sexuality issues. In time, I came to acceptance that I was gay, and began taking steps to call various fraternity brothers and former friends of mine from college that I had lost contact with hoping they might accept me. Most didn’t go over so well. Frank was one of them. I don’t remember much of our conversation, other than it being the last one I’d have with him for almost two decades.

On and off throughout a good portion of the years that would pass after that conversation, I often wondered where Frank was, how he was doing, and hoping one day he might resurface in my life. Sadly, somehow I forgot his last name and was unable to look for him because of it. But I think that’s the way my Higher Power probably wanted it. I’m not sure if I would have had as much of an appreciation for Frank resurfacing in my life if it had been during any of my addiction-riddled years. Thankfully, I’m not in that place anymore and I truly believe that’s why my Higher Power knew I was ready to receive a spiritual gift that would come in the form of Frank finding me on Facebook.

The wonders of social media are sometimes a very beautiful thing because Frank was able to locate me on Facebook just over a week ago now. After getting a message from him there, I received a phone call from him a few nights later and an apology on how he handled my “coming out” to him all those years ago. He told me guilt had riddled him for years and wanted to say he was sorry, of which I wholeheartedly accepted.

I’m not sure if I would have had as much of an appreciation for that hour-long conversation with Frank if I were still actively engaging in the things I did during much of the 19 years that had passed since last hearing his voice. Regardless, I’m just grateful for the gift from my Higher Power and take it as a sign of the spiritual growth I’ve made in my life.

So even though I may have been a little too erratic and hasty in my coming out process with people like Frank back in the mid-90’s, it goes to show that my coming out to a blast from the past wasn’t really the end of a connection, it was only a long pause to one. I think that has to happen sometimes to allow for two people to grow enough spiritually so that they may reconnect on a much healthier level down the road. Thank you Frank for reaching out, as you really helped to bring a little more peace and serenity into my life and for that I’m truly blessed…

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson

TLC has another new show that seems to be creating a tremendous amount of uproar from various people and groups around the country. It’s called “My Husband’s Not Gay” and is based on four Mormon men living in Salt Lake City, Utah, who are each married to a woman, but attracted to men, yet they don’t identify themselves as gay.

As of the time of me writing this, the GLAAD organization has been one of the most outspoken stating, “the show is downright irresponsible.” And that “No one can change who they love, and, more importantly, no one should have to. A Change.org petition was also started specifically to ask TLC to cancel the show and has already garnered over 80,000 signatures. Over on TLC’s main web page for the show itself, there’s now a growing amount of debates, anger, and rage being written in the comments section for those in support of the show and those who aren’t.

Sadly, after reading enough of those comments and enough of the news articles about this new show, I found the issue is really no different than what been an ever-increasing hot topic for the past decade or so. And it boils down to just one thing and one thing only…

Team A: Homosexuality is a sin and a choice.

Team B: Homosexuality is not a sin and a person is born that way.

With that being said, the show “My Husband’s Not Gay” now joins the ranks of those who have kept this debate alive such as Duck Dynasty, Chick-Fil-A, The Salvation Army, and the Boy Scouts of America, each having previously stood on the foundation that begin gay is morally wrong, all the while using the Bible’s words as their platform.

Frankly, I’ve grown quite weary of this issue and of the hate coming from both sides of the debate. Some of the comments I read were downright vicious and polarizing from those who support homosexuality and those who don’t. But the reality is to each his own. So what if a bunch of guys have chosen to be married, but still have feelings towards men? I’ve met a ton of them in my lifetime already. Some have cheated on their wives repeatedly behind their backs with other men for years. Others have remained faithful but miserable inside because they have never felt like they were being true to themselves. While a bunch have lived in complete denial for years about the entire issue. But most seemed to have lived in fear for much of their married life, fully believing that God says homosexuality is a sin.

Look, I’m not God and can’t say how God truly feels on this issue. I also can’t say whether the Bible is God’s absolute truth or not and neither can anyone else on this Earth either. The fact is that each person has their own walk in life and whether they choose to remain married and faithful with gay feelings, or to act on them and commit adultery, or to live fully as a homosexual, is really all about their own journey with God.

I’ve had my own journey with God in terms of my sexuality and come to acceptance over it. It took me more than two decades to get there, but I have an incredible amount of peace and serenity now when it comes to my sexuality. Unfortunately, there are plenty out there in this world like the four men in this new TLC show who still battle what they probably refer to as their inner demon.

While I don’t know whether this show will be successful or not, it’s already fully successful in one thing, and that’s in showing the continued separation of our country between those who believe God looks down upon homosexuality and those who don’t. Until everyone comes to a place of unconditional love and acceptance in their hearts about a person’s sexuality, a show like “My Husband’s Not Gay” is only going to keep on sparking outrage and further drive us away from receiving the absolute love of God himself…

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson