Category: The Spiritual Side Of Sexuality

I’m thankful that my country has a day like today to remember one of my greatest spiritual heroes, Martin Luther King, Jr.

While I never was alive to experience any of King’s nonviolence movement, I was able to study his life extensively through minority relations’ liberal arts minor during my college days. Having lived to be just 39 years old when his life was tragically taken, Martin Luther King, Jr. made an incredible impact upon not only our country but also this world with such a short lifespan.

King believed in pacifism, which was no different than the views of many of my other spiritual heroes throughout time who include Gandhi, Mother Theresa, and Jesus to name a few. Pacifism is the belief that all disputes should be settled through peaceful means and that violence should never be involved. Hence the reason for the nonviolence protests that Martin Luther King. Jr. led in his adult life to establish equal rights for black men and women in our country.

Probably the most famous of those was the one that first gained him national recognition, the Montgomery Bus Boycott of 1955. It started on December 1st, 1965 when Rosa Parks was arrested for refusing to give up her seat on a bus to a white person. Because of this incident, King led a full-fledged bus boycott for the next 385 days until the United States District Court ruled in Browder v. Gayle that racial segregation would be illegal on Montgomery public buses. During the days of the protests that led up to the ruling, King’s house was bombed, he was arrested, and publicly humiliated and taunted, but not once did he ever lash out at anyone. Instead, King lived by his faith in God, which helped him to endure peacefully, the entire backlash that constantly came at him and his followers.

I was able to see from an even greater perspective, how great of a spiritual man King was when I watched the entire 14-hour “Eyes On The Prize” documentary about the Civil Rights Movement in the United States. During it, I saw real footage of the many sit-ins he led throughout the South at places where segregation still thrived. Some of the images in this documentary haunt me to this day of what so many racist white people did towards King and all his followers. It baffles me to understand how these racist white people justified their beatings of all those innocent black men and women. I was shocked every time I saw the firemen turn their hoses onto those peacefully protesting and knock them to the ground. Truthfully, I was horrified to see all this racist behavior that also included the spitting on, the throwing of objects at, and the other constant public humiliation tactics towards black men and women who were just trying to gain equal rights. But even with the amount of hateful acts King and his followers endured on their quest, they remained nonviolent.

He even successfully organized a peaceful march on Washington D.C. on August 28th, 1963 with somewhere between 200,000 and 300,000 people. During it, he gave his famous “I Have A Dream” speech that was focused on gaining equal jobs and freedom as well as the end to all oppression and segregation for black people.

One of the biggest triumphs that King’s march on Washington and nonviolence movement achieved was the Civil Rights Act of 1964 that outlawed discrimination in all places of public accommodation, including restaurants and lunch counters, motels and hotels, gas stations, theaters, and sports arenas. It also led to the eventual desegregation in public schools. But sadly, Martin Luther King, Jr. never got to fully see the success of all his nonviolent efforts. At 6:01pm on April 4th, 1968, his life was taken by an assassination, that to this day still has many conspiracy theorists questioning if the true person responsible for his death was ever caught.

All conspiracy theories aside, King’s legacy led many others to pick up where he left off and continue the quest for full equality of black men and women in the United States. Soon after his death, Congress did pass the Civil Rights Act of 1968, commonly known now as the Fair Housing Act. It prohibited discrimination in housing and housing-related transactions on the basis of race, religion, or national origin.

I’m so grateful for what Martin Luther King, Jr. did to achieve equality in this country. On some level, I believe his efforts have even led to the peaceful movements taking place today for equal rights for gay men and women. Unfortunately, I have had to endure my own experiences of being on the receiving end of hate by those who don’t approve of homosexuality and same-sex relationships. Through it all though, I don’t lash out, nor do I get angry anymore. I’ve learned that below all their hate is simply fear, the fear of change and of the fear of the unknown. It was the same fears back when King was alive and it’s still the same fears now.

Martin Luther King, Jr. is a man I will forever respect and love. He stood tall because God was constantly trying to guide his way and he achieved something through nonviolent means that forever changed our country for the better. I’m thankful to Ronald Reagan for eventually signing a bill that created a federal holiday to honor this man. It continues to be observed every year on the third Monday of each January and is called Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.

So with today being that day, my only hope in this entry is that I was able to honor Martin Luther King, Jr. with enough love and light to show how spiritually great the man was. I’m thankful for everything he did so peacefully that helped countless people in our country to gain equality. It’s my hope and prayer that his legacy will continue into eternity guiding our masses towards living peacefully to achieve equality for all.

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson

There is a lot of deception going on out there in this world. It happens every day all around us on so many levels. It may even be happening to you right now as we speak. But most recently, it happened to a very close friend of mine and it truly broke his heart.

It’s been almost 20 years now that I’ve known this friend. We met in college around my junior year and he became the first person in my life to help me understand my sexuality a lot better. Ironically though, I came out of the closet before him. Over the years that followed that, I have watched my connection with this friend wax and wane. Much of that was due to my own addictions that I lived in, but somehow our friendship was able to survive through it all.

I would call this friend more of an introvert than an extrovert due to his shy and reserved personality. And part of me has wondered if that’s why he frequently had trouble meeting someone that he could spend his life with. Five years ago though, all that changed for him when he finally met someone special. I was initially very happy for him because my friend’s track record with those he previously dated wasn’t very good. Many of those he ended up with just seemed to use and abuse him on some level. I was glad to hear that wasn’t the case though with this older man.

But as my friend’s relationship with this man began to develop, I really began to question that man’s authenticity. They had strange communication between the two of them, as they never talked on the phone. Yet they communicated via multiple e-mails every single day without ever missing a single beat. My friend was also never asked by this man to come visit his home. It would only ever be infrequent trips to my friend’s house as based upon this man’s rare availability. All of that raised a lot of red flags within me and I constantly expressed my concern about it to my friend again and again. I finally had to come to a level of acceptance because it wasn’t my relationship and if it was working for my friend, then so be it. But deep down I felt sad as I knew my friend had the same concerns as me about his relationship, except he was too afraid to rock the boat.

For someone like him, who had such terrible experiences in all his previous relationships, the idea of potentially losing the good he had was too difficult for him to ponder. So he stayed uncomfortably comfortable and treasured what little moments he together with this man. For all the time they did get together, they were a couple who did many activities together including camping, apple picking and much more. My friend even introduced him to his parents, which was a huge thing for him to do. Overall, they shared a tremendous amount of love, fun, and laughter together but their lack of communication always made me question it’s legitimacy.

One day I started praying for my friend because of my doubts about his relationship. I began asking God to guide him to seek the real truth about the man he was dating. While I didn’t know what that real truth was, my motivation to pray was that I knew my friend wanted more but didn’t know how to ask for it. Thankfully though, just before Thanksgiving, that prayer was answered when my friend found the motivation and courage to seek that truth by doing some Internet research. Unfortunately, while he was hoping to find out nothing, what he did find out what much more than he bargained for.

The long and short of it was that this man he was dating was actually married to a woman for over 30 years, had a completely different name, was ten years older than he had claimed, had two fully grown children, and didn’t even live in the area he stated he was from. On some level, I know this is partially my friend’s fault for letting the deception go on for years, especially knowing he always had his own doubts about it. But, what concerns me the most about what happened is how many people got hurt in the selfish actions of this man’s deception.

First there was my friend who got hurt as he had fallen in love with this man and it broke his heart to find out the truth. Then there’s the wife who currently has no idea what’s really going on. I can only imagine her pain that will come on the day when she finds out the real truth about her husband. Then there’s everyone else this man is deceiving including his children, friends, and anyone else he might be sleeping around with.

Sadly, this isn’t an isolated incident either. There are so many websites out there that allow married men to live a life of deception like this. I should know because I used to peruse a few of those sites back in the days where I met too many of them. They were constantly wanting to have flings on the side while their wives were out for the evening or out of town for a few days. Or they just wanted to come over to my house while they lied to their wife about some obligation they had to keep. None of them ever went as far as saying they were gay either. It was always that they were bi-sexual or just curious and exploring. And none of them felt they were cheating either because they claimed they weren’t being sexual with a woman. In their minds, being with man was just a cheap sexual act for their own quick gratification. And I made the mistake of giving into another man’s deception like this and spent two years of my life getting sick and toxic because of it.

I’m grateful I have no desire to ever partake in something like that ever again. It’s my hope that my friend will feel the same as me now given he knows the real truth about his relationship. The sad thing is that sometimes people still go back to those toxic relationships, even knowing this, because they are too afraid to be totally alone. I’m not sure what’s going to happen from here for my friend but I pray for his strength to fully let this man go for good. My friend deserves so much better in his life and frankly, doing anything with this man now would only be helping to continue that man’s deception.

I honestly don’t know why there are such a growing number of married men out there who are choosing to deceive their wives by sleeping around with other men. The only thing I do know is that it’s selfish, self-centered, toxic, and unspiritual to do so. It also creates a lot more darkness in this world through each lie these married men tell to get what they want. Hopefully one day, all of this gay deception by married men will be fully exposed so that they can know the true pain they are causing the world in doing it…

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson

It’s been awhile now since I wrote about anything that specifically dealt with the spiritual side of sexuality. That all began to change though when I caught wind of the news about the words Phil Robertson of Duck Dynasty fame shared in his interview for a GQ article.

In it, he shared:

“It seems like, to me, a vagina — as a man — would be more desirable than a man’s anus. That’s just me. I’m just thinking: There’s more there! She’s got more to offer. I mean, come on, dudes! You know what I’m saying? But hey, sin: It’s not logical, my man. It’s just not logical.” 

He went on further to say:

“Everything is blurred on what’s right and wrong… Sin becomes fine. Start with homosexual behavior and just morph out from there. Bestiality, sleeping around with this woman and that woman and that woman and those men. Don’t be deceived. Neither the adulterers, the idolaters, the male prostitutes, the homosexual offenders, the greedy, the drunkards, the slanderers, the swindlers – they won’t inherit the kingdom of God. Don’t deceive yourself, it’s not right.”

Being a gay male myself and currently in a monogamous relationship with a partner who I love dearly, it saddens me to see someone take a whole group of people in this world and denounce them so openly, especially given the fame he has gained. Of course Phil is entitled to free speech and I know there are probably many more who feel the same way as him out there in this world. But it’s really not him, or anyone else that so openly denounces homosexuality, that bothers me. It’s how they all don’t realize what they’re saying is the exact opposite of what being a true Christian means.

Jesus Christ walked this Earth and practiced offering love and light to everyone. Not once does the Bible ever recollect anything about Jesus denouncing two men or two women for being together in a loving relationship with each other.

Too many Christians continue to take a text written 2000 years ago and use it as a weapon against a whole set of people on this Earth who have souls just like them. They share their opinions, and not facts, based upon those writings in the Bible to say who is or isn’t going to Heaven and who is or isn’t going to Hell. The reality is that they aren’t God, Jesus, the Disciples, or anyone else from that time. They aren’t all-knowing or all-seeing. They have their opinions that are solely being based in their minds as facts because of what they read in the Bible.

Phil Robertson is an example of this. While he is entitled to his free speech, he’s not practicing spreading the love and light that Jesus once tried to spread on this Earth through the comments he said in that GQ article. What’s even harder to swallow is all the thousands of comments I’ve already seen written online in response to A&E’s decision to place the man on hiatus from Duck Dynasty. Many of those people are claiming themselves to be Christians like Phil, except they are spewing hate, anger, rage, spite, malice, and other things that are more bestowed from those living in darkness.

It’s not my place to tell Phil Robertson how he should feel. He feels as he does and interprets the Bible from his own viewpoint. But I can understand why A&E placed him on hiatus from appearing on Duck Dynasty. In today’s day and age, a bad public image for a person of fame, or any company that represents that person, can end up destroying both’s reputation. I’m sure that A&E is afraid of losing viewers and offending any of those that are either gay or support gay rights who might either watch Duck Dynasty or other programs on their network.

Regardless of everything I just said, I do want to say that I have never have watched Duck Dynasty nor have I ever been into hunting. But my deepest truth about all of this controversy is the following. If I had been watching the show and then caught wind of Phil Robertson’s words speaking out against homosexuality, I wouldn’t be watching it anymore. It’s as simple as that for me these days when it comes to anyone or anything that speaks out so negatively against the whole gay community. Speaking out against anyone with such slander is not walking in the footsteps of Christ nor is it spreading any love and light on this planet. It’s only creating more darkness instead.

I spent many years not understanding why God had me be born gay if it was such a sin. Thankfully that changed when God helped me to see that being promiscuous with my sexuality was the actual sin, but loving one man with all my heart, mind, and soul was not. Unfortunately, people like Phil Robertson, and the others in this world who feel as he does about gay people, might not ever understand this. Hopefully though, one day they will.

But like everything else, such as when the CEO of Chick-Fil-A went through this very same issue quite recently, this Duck Dynasty issue will eventually blow over too. And when it does, another incident in similar nature will sadly just take its place. This will happen over and over and over again until people like Phil Robertson begin to take a different look at homosexuality. You see, it’s on the day when EVERYONE can start realizing that two men or two women loving each other unconditionally is acceptable and blessed in the eyes of God, that we’ll all be a lot more loving as Jesus Christ once was.

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson