Category: Words To Live By

I’m not worthless, not one bit, but I definitely woke up today feeling that way. I’m not sure why I actually did, but the fact of the matter is I did and whenever I feel that way it frankly stinks. And it’s because of me feeling that way this morning that I reached out to one of my sponsors in recovery hoping to get some much-needed reassurance. Except that’s not what I received. Instead, I was challenged to complete a homework assignment, which was to compose a list of all the things that show I’m not worthless. So here goes nothing…

I’m not worthless because:

1. I have helped dozens of people find recovery from addictions to alcohol, drugs, sex, love, and even food.
2. I have been able to maintain a spiritual blog and write hundreds of original motivation articles every single day now for over two years.
3. I have written an entire young adult fantasy novel.
4. I have stayed clean and sober from alcohol and drugs for over 19 years.
5. I have stayed clean and sober from unhealthy sex, love, and codependent behaviors for almost 3 years.
6. I have had several of my articles published in newspapers and magazines in the country.
7. I learned how to meditate and in turn have taught it to many others.
8. I learned the art of numerology and have done many readings for others.
9. I joined the ManKind Project and have led many spiritually seeking individuals there where they were able to find more of that in life.
10. I have led others to a path of self-healing by demonstrating it within my own life.
11. I have guided others to find more peace, love, light, and joy in life solely through writing about my own life’s trials and tribulations and how I’ve overcome them.
12. I have helped total strangers not feel alone and unloved by just being myself and offering them acts of my own love.
13. I know how to cut my own hair and have even been able to do that for others as well.
14. I know how to garden and landscape and make yards look beautiful that inspire others to do the same.
15. I have helped many to feel freer in life by safely expressing their deep emotions and talking about their burdens they’ve carried alone for so long.
16. I have spoken in front of countless numbers of people in countless numbers of places of recovery without fear and have been told quite often how much it’s helped another.
17. I can use a computer quite well and have taught others how to use one too.
18. I can connect complicated stereo equipment together, DJ rather well on vinyl turntables, and throw a successful party.
19. I graduated Magna Cum Laude from Rochester Institute of Technology with a degree in Computer Information Systems and used that knowledge to write a major bank’s checking account system, to construct a web company’s site, and to remove many bugs out of many major corporations’ software.
20. I was able to complete this homework assignment and not give up.

I’m sure there is more I could come up with, but I feel I’ve done this assignment the justice it deserves. And just so you all know, I believe the main reason why I’ve been feeling this worthless feeling every now and then as of late is completely due to my ego and it’s selfish wants and desires.

Sometimes I find myself comparing my journey in life to the famous people I see accepting awards on television, to the doctors I see helping people heal, to the individuals I see championing multi-million dollar businesses, and so on and so forth. But maybe none of that is what I’m supposed to do in this life. Maybe what I’m doing right now is exactly what God wants me to be doing. And maybe I don’t see how much good I’m really already doing in this life.

Regardless, I’m not worthless. Thankfully, I can see that a lot clearer now. And thankfully I have a sponsor who knew precisely what to say, and precisely what to assign me, to help me figure that out for myself. Because ultimately, no one and no thing can ever give me any sense of self-worth, only I can, and that must come from within…

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson

Most people tend to think of Valentine’s Day as a day to show love to one’s significant other. But honestly, why can’t this day be more about showing that to everyone? Why can’t Valentine’s Day become a national day to show unconditional love to each other? It could, but it might take a shift in our perception of what love actually is.

Love isn’t just about kissing and making out.
Love isn’t just about having sex and making love.
Love isn’t just about holding hands and longingly gazing into each other’s eyes.

Each of those is an act of romantic love and usually the kind shared in a marriage, a partnership, or between two people dating each other.

But what about the love for everyone else who lives on this planet?

What about the love for someone who’s crying by offering them a hug?
What about the love for someone who’s begging for food by donating some to them?
What about the love for someone who needs a ride somewhere by offering them one?
What about the love for someone who just wants to be listened to by doing just that?
What about the love for someone who feels worthless by paying them a compliment?
What about the love for someone who’s feeling unloved by saying you love them?
What about the love for someone who’s unable to open a door by you doing it for them?
What about the love for someone who’s lonely by calling them or paying them a visit?

There are just some of the many ways we can all show each other love, even if we aren’t in intimate relationships with each other.

So maybe you might you might want to try something different this Valentine’s Day by showing some love to a person who’s not your special someone or significant other. Because in all reality, I think you would agree that we all are worthy and deserving of acts of unconditional love…

Happy Valentine’s Day everyone!

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson

While I may not like how the Bible continues to be used to condemn people in this day and age, there are still some words and passages from it that I try to live by. One of which that’s been resonating with me lately are the multiple occurrences of the phrase “honor your mother and father”. I think that’s because I spent years doing the exact opposite.

It’s no secret that my family was quite dysfunctional. In fact, I’ve written about it a number of times in here. My father had bi-polar manic depression and went untreated with his disease for years. He also was an alcoholic who never fully utilized the benefits of the 12 Steps and instead did his best to remain clean and sober on his own. My mother on the other hand suffered from depression as well, was overly codependent, and too battled alcoholism. It made for a very rough childhood for both my sister and myself.

I was very bitter about this once I left home and went off to college. When I became an active alcoholic and drug addict myself while there I took every opportunity to verbally trash the way my parents raised me. You might say that I used it to my advantage, often with the sole reason to seek pity and comfort from others. It also helped me to justify why I drank and drugged to excess every single time I did. Unfortunately, that behavior didn’t cease within me once I found sobriety from both. And what made matters worse were my father’s suicide and my mother’s tragic drunken fall down the stairs during my sober years. These incidents only became even more of a catalyst to harboring my anger and resentments towards them. I rarely had anything good to say about them and was usually on the opposite end of the spectrum in doing what those words said in the Bible.

Through the help of therapy, the ManKind Project, the 12 Steps, meditation, and prayer, I eventually was able to release all the ill will I had felt for so long towards my mother and father. And once it left me, I saw the both of them in a vastly different light. It really is interesting how much my anger and resentment towards them consistently blocked my ability to see the love they had for me, but thankfully, I can today. I’m able to honor my mother and father now with the respect they deserve, because if it wasn’t for them, I wouldn’t be who I am today and I wouldn’t have learned as many of the spiritual lessons as I have.

But even more importantly are all the things I can see now they did for me that so many others I’ve met in life never had. So thank you Mom and Dad for always providing me with a roof over my head, with food on our table, and with clothes on my body. Thank you for the many vacations you took me on, the bountiful gifts you gave me on Christmas and birthdays, and for all the other holiday surprises I received. Thank you for all those movie nights we had, the hikes you took me on, and the many card games we played. Thank you for all those swims I had in our pool, the meals you took me out to, and the compliments you gave me in many of my life’s earliest achievements. Thank you for paying for all of my college education, for financially supporting me when I couldn’t, and for continuing to do so even now, long after you’ve been gone.

Lastly, and definitely most importantly, thank you for being the first ones to teach me about God. You see it’s because of that I’m able to honor you both now just like the Bible says to do, with the love and praise you deserve. I miss you Mom and Dad and I love you both immensely. Thank you for everything you did for me, I couldn’t have asked for better parents.

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson