Category: Words To Live By

How often in life have you passed on by someone in need asking for help? The following is a short spiritual story I heard long ago that reminded me greatly of something I once used to do solely out of selfishness and ignorance.

“It was a Sunday morning and a very sunny day with not a cloud was in the sky. The attendees of an extremely large congregation began to arrive and head towards the large looming doors of their church’s massive structure. As each walked up its many steps, it was hard not to notice a vey disheveled and filthy homeless man who lay sprawled out on them with hands outstretched. One by one they passed on by this vagrant, many purposely avoiding walking near him at all. Plenty of parents even pulled their children back each time one of them attempted to greet this man in need. A couple of individuals eventually mustered enough courage to say hello but no one had a single bit of change to spare for this poor man. When everyone was finally seated in the great hall of this church, the homeless man walked in and headed straight to the front to sit down amongst the rest of the churchgoers. The ushers swiftly escorted him to the very back of the pews where there he tried to greet the others sitting nearby, which was met only with stares and dirty looks. As the morning announcements began to be read, one of the elders of the church said how excited she was to welcome in the new pastor for the first time. After she spoke his name, everyone rose to offer a warm greeting by their thunderous applause. Suddenly they noticed that soiled and grimy homeless man walking down the aisle again and their smiles quickly turned to angry frowns. “Why is this man ruining such a wonderful event?” could be read over many of their faces. But their angry faces all soon turned to ones of shame and sadness when the man walked up to the podium and introduced himself as their new pastor.”

While there are numerous accounts on the Internet arguing whether this is actually a true story or not, I choose to focus on what I believe to be more important here, which is the moral of the story. How many times have I throughout the course of my life avoided a homeless person for whatever the reason, even when I had some change to spare or a free smile to offer them? How many times did I make a judgment about them believing they were only going to buy some booze with any money I gave them? How many times did I say, “Get a job!” to one of them out of irritation and resentment? The answer to all three is definitely “countless”.

The more I’ve drawn closer to my Higher Power though, whom I choose to call God, the more I’ve seen how selfish and ignorant I once was towards those less fortunate. While I may not always have change or even any cash on me to spare, I do my best now to at least smile and say God bless to any of those who are homeless. In fact, I’ve personally spent time with many in various homeless shelters over the past few years where I’ve spoken my experience, strength, and hope in recovery from addiction.

It’s through those moments where I learned that a homeless person, or anyone else less fortunate for that matter is never beneath me. In fact, each is just as much of beautiful soul and a child of God as I am. Thank God I see that now and do what I can now to treat everyone equally by offering what I have, even if that sometimes is nothing more than a warm and loving greeting.

So the reality I see today anytime I come across a homeless person or someone less fortunate is that any could be one of God’s messengers and if that’s the case, I hope to never pass on by a single one of them ever again.

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson

What is your definition of a true friend? Lately, I’ve had to completely reevaluate what mine is mostly because I’ve been feeling let down quite a bit by many of those I’ve long considered as one.

After doing a little research on the Internet, I came to the conclusion that there are five main traits I believe are crucial to that which makes up a true friend. They are:

1. Level of Listening

The first principle deals with how present a friend is when communicating with you, whether that’s in person or over the phone. Are they occupying themselves with other things such as watching television, surfing the Internet, or texting someone else? Are they paying attention more to others than you? Are the conversations frequently about them? Do they acknowledge what you talk by actively repeating back some of it when you’re done speaking? Do you find there’s a good balance between them sharing and them listening? Ultimately, a true friend will enjoy listening to you instead of it always being about them.

2. Level of Trustworthiness and Sincerity

The second principle deals with how honest and genuine a friend is when communicating with you. Do they let you know when you’re doing a toxic behavior that’s driving them away? Do they talk about you behind your back in a bad way or a good way? Do they tell you one thing and then do another? Do they give you white lies to make you feel better but you find out later that’s not how they really feel? Ultimately, a true friend will be 100% honest and sincere with you about all things instead of lying and only telling you what you want to hear.

3. Level Of Acceptance

The third principle deals with how much a friend embraces who you really are. Do they allow you to truly be yourself? Or do they try to change various parts of you? Are they constantly telling you to stop doing certain things inherent to your unique personality only because it irks them? Are they negative towards who you are more than not? Do they project their own anger on how you are with any type of regular occurrence? Ultimately, a true friend will fully accept you for who you are, and as I often say, including “warts and all”.

4. Level of Dependability

The fourth principle deals with how reliable a friend is with you. Do you make plans with them only to find them often being cancelled? Do they reschedule if they have to cancel? Do they call you back in a timely fashion or do they take days, weeks, or sometimes never to return your call? Are they there for you when you really need them, especially during a crisis or emergency? Ultimately, a true friend will follow through on the plans they made with you and be there for you when truly need them.

5. Level of Presence

The fifth and final principle deals with how often a friend actually spends time with you. Do they only seem to connect with you through text messages or Facebook? Do they frequently use texting as a mode to respond even when you leave them a voicemail to call you? Do they seem to only make plans with you if you are the one to initiate them? Do they usually tell you they have been too busy to connect with you? Do they always seem to have some excuse or prior plans that prevent them from connecting with you? Ultimately, a true friend will make the time for you with some type of regularity and when they haven’t heard from you in a while, they will reach out to you.

For a very long time I wasn’t really a true friend to anyone because I didn’t practice any of these principles very well at all. But today I can safely say I practice each of them as best as I can every single day. Unfortunately, I see now that many of the people I’ve considered to be a true friend really aren’t because they haven’t been practicing them just like I once didn’t. Hence I’ve been doing some serious housecleaning throughout my life to ascertain who is a true friend and who is not. Thankfully, I’ve identified a few who are and I’m very grateful to my Higher Power for each of them.

My bottom line is this. We all probably refer to many people as our friends, but how much of them are actually a true friend? I realize now I was exerting a tremendous amount of effort to connect with people who honestly weren’t a true friend at all, but I’m ok with that. At least now I know and can define each of them as more of a casual friend or acquaintance. So while these may be the principles I define as to what a true friend is for me, I would like to end this entry by asking the very same of you.

What is your definition of a true friend?

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson

Why are people sometimes so cruel to animals? I ask this question rhetorically only for the reason that I found a male purebred boxer drinking from one of my garden ponds early one morning recently that not only appeared abused and starved, but come to find out, he had been poisoned as well.

I’ve always believed that cats and dogs were sent here to show us what unconditional love looks like, so the idea of ever hurting any one of them like this boxer seems unfathomable. But for some, cats and dogs and many other animals as well become nothing more than the recipient of various modes of abuse. Over the years, I myself came across several alcoholics and addicts who repeatedly kicked their dogs or tortured their cats just because they were restless, irritable, and discontent with something going on in their life. While I may seriously struggle at times in my own life with the hand I’ve been dealt, the last thing I want to do these days is take any of my frustration out on a defenseless animal. Sadly, I can’t say that was true back in the mid 2000’s when I owned a bed and breakfast.

During that period of my life, I was fully consumed with anger over quite a number of things, especially with the partner I had and that business itself. While carrying all that resentment, there were times I found duck nests in the courtyard gardens I maintained. I held a lot of shame for a while over the action I did each time I discovered one, as I would throw any eggs from the nest at the mother duck as she scurried away. Looking at how much fury and rage filled my every pore back then, I can see how a defenseless duck easily became my scapegoat for it. Thankfully, I’m on the opposite side of the spectrum today and try to preserve and protect all life as best as I can, even right on down to a little spider that makes its way into my home.

But getting back to that male boxer I found in my front yard that morning drinking so voraciously from one of my ponds, it was hard to imagine how much anger someone must have had to do what they did to this animal. His bones were loudly protruding through its emaciated body, it shivered anytime I got close to him as if I was going to strike out at him, and it was constantly throwing up everywhere again and again. The latter of which only occurred because someone in my neighborhood has been poisoning any loose dogs by feeding them antifreeze. What truly fills me with great sorrow over this was how obedient and friendly this dog was when I got over my own fear to approach him. He sat when asked to sit. He gave a paw when asked if he would shake. He even lay down next to me when asked as I waited for K-9 control to arrive.

I know some people frequently say that any individual who tragically abuses a loving animal such as this boxer should receive the same treatment back. Honestly, that isn’t the answer because violence will only breed more violence. But should there be stricter punishments if an animal abuser is discovered? Probably. Regardless, dogs, cats, or any other animal for that matter don’t deserve to be abused like this. I’m sure we could all agree that none of us deserve to be abused by anyone either, but unfortunately it still happens. Why it continues to happen to a human being or an animal like this boxer always seems to be traced back to someone’s untreated anger.

I decided to research this topic a little after pondering the events of that day and here are a few of the alarming statistics I discovered:

• It is estimated that nearly 1 million animals a year are abused or killed in connection with domestic violence.
• Up to 75 percent of domestic violence victims report that their partners also threatened or killed family pets
• Close to 85 percent of battered women and children entering shelters discussed incidents of regular animal abuse and cruelty in their household
• A large percentage of children who grow up watching an adult abuse a pet end up doing the same behavior later in life

Reading these statistics truly brought me great sadness, specifically because I know there’s not much more I can really do to change it other than pray. So I pray for all those out there who are still consumed with so much anger and rage that they take it out on an innocent animal. I pray for each of them to find freedom from whatever their inner turmoil is that causes them to abuse an animal in the first place. The bottom line is that no animal ever deserves any type of abuse or cruelty, especially the ones like that male boxer who only wanted to be loved as much as he tried to do that unconditionally with everyone else.

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson