There’s No Need For Regret…

Have you ever lived with regret for an extended period of time over some decision you once made where it led you to experience great difficulties in life? I have with one in particular and lived with regret for years because of it until I realized just how much good actually came out of it.

The major regret I’m referring to began in March of 2003. My partner at the time had been unemployed and decided his next career move was to become an innkeeper at a bed and breakfast. After visiting several inns for sale with him, I realized I wasn’t interested at all in following his new business venture. Little did I know that the codependency I suffered from at the time would say otherwise? So when my partner told me that month he was going to run a B&B with or without me, I panicked and chose to follow his dream anyway. That decision would begin my rapid descent into financial despair where just two years later, my bank was notifying me that my partner had over drafted the business account by close to $1500. From that point forward, I would throw dollar after into that business hoping it would save not only it, but also the relationship. It saved neither and by the time January of 2010 arrived, I was signing a dotted line for a short sale that saw me walking away with only the shirt on my back. When all was said and done, the decision I had made against my better judgment in March of 2003 had led to my financial loss of more than $600,000 in cash.

For several years after that I harbored major regret over that decision. In fact, my brain became so occupied with the “what if’s” that I convinced myself my life would be far better if I had just said no to my partner when he first approached me about that new venture. Once I started drawing closer to my Higher Power though, I began seeing things from a much better perspective. I started understanding that nothing good was coming out of me carrying that regret or any regret for that matter. All it really was doing for me was causing me to harbor great anger and resentments. But through a tremendous amount of hard work and prayer, I began looking for all the positive things that came out of that decision instead of focusing on the negative. That’s when I discovered that:

…because of my B&B life, I had enough free time to learn how to do and teach meditation and numerology.

…because of my B&B life, I met a writer at a local newspaper there and was given a column to explore a talent I never even knew I had.

…because of my B&B life, I finally saw I needed to seriously work on my codependent ways.

….because of my B&B life, I learned that money couldn’t fix everything.

….because of that B&B life, I learned an incredible amount of humility.

I’m sure there are plenty of other positive things that came out of my decision to buy that bed and breakfast all those years ago. But as soon as I started focusing in on the positive versus the negative, the regret began leaving me for good.

I am fully convinced today that my path was always meant to own a B&B for that short period of time. The lessons I learned there were invaluable and I wouldn’t go back to redo any of it today even if I was given the chance. I am so grateful to say that I don’t live with regret anymore over it or anything else in life. But that’s only because I have clearly seen how my Higher Power has always done something good for me no matter how great of difficulties ever arose from the “bad” decisions I’ve made throughout life…

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson

Cell Phone Ringers And Their Disruptions

It’s definitely no secret that I struggle with how everyone seems to becoming incredibly preoccupied with his or her cell phones. Besides the fact that they are being utilized so frequently that it’s causing people to detach from human interaction, I see a larger issue beginning to emerge. As the technology of mobile phones has evolved over time, so has the volume of their ringers. While that may not create any disruptions when they go off in someone’s private spaces such as a car or at home, I’m noticing how many they are creating in plenty of other situations.

Have you ever been at the theater when someone else’s phone suddenly starts to loudly ring? Or has that ever happened to you at some type of important meeting you were attending? Or maybe it’s happened to you at an intimate restaurant you were dining at? In each of those cases, can you honestly say it didn’t disrupt your experience on some level? I have witnessed all three of these situations and many others as well. The latest of which totally baffled me when it happened during a funeral service a few days ago. I really thought that people would never bring their cell phones into a funeral service, let alone leave them on. But sure enough, over the course of its one-hour duration, I counted at least five separate ones that rang quite loudly. Funerals are generally meant to be a time to grieve. But listening to one of the latest Top 40 songs emit from a phone as it rang made that pretty hard to do. Instead of being able to stay in my heart and let my sadness out, I found myself looking around the room trying to find the source of each phone when it rang.

All of this has got me wondering why people are so afraid they’re going to miss out on something if they don’t carry it everywhere and leave it on the entire time. Ironically, what they don’t realize is that they truly are missing out on something, but it has nothing to do with their mobile phone. It has to do with whatever is right in front of them that their phone is taking them away from.

Whether I’m in a movie theater, a meeting, a restaurant, a funeral, or any other venue where other people are around me in intimate spaces, I always make sure my phone is set to silent, turned off, or left in my car. First of all, I don’t want to ruin anyone else’s experience because of my loud Knight Rider ringtone. Second, there was once a time when I’d go an entire day without a phone call because the only one I had was at home. So why are a few hours of silencing it or shutting it off that big of a deal? Lastly, I’m also trying to not take away from my own experiences as I engage in whatever they are. For any of the times where I’ve left my ringer on in any public situation, it’s always been due to my own selfishness and self-centeredness, and the fact that I thought I was going to miss out on something. Thankfully, I’m doing a lot better with this today.

So hopefully the next time you’re at the theater, a meeting, a restaurant, a funeral or some other type of public venue, you’ll make sure that you too will silence your cell phone like I know I will be doing. That way we won’t be creating any disruptions for ourselves, nor will we be creating them for anyone else as well.

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson

Social Media And Me

Just last week I decided to return to Facebook after leaving it several years ago. In addition, I activated a twitter account, much to the surprise of my spiritual teacher. While I also have had a Google Plus page for some time now, none of these social medias are being utilized by me for what one might think.

The truth is, the only reason why I have any of them today is to support this blog. While the main purpose of why I started writing was to help myself heal, it seems as if my words have also been helping others to heal as well. With that being said, I know how important it is in today’s day and age to use social media to reach greater numbers of people, hence the reason why I’m now using Twitter, Facebook, and Google Plus. Over the past few weeks, I’ve been working on automating this blog’s posting process to publish the links to my posts simultaneously on all three. Beyond that though, I have no desire to utilize any of them for what so many others are these days.

Since the emergence and explosion of social media, the planet seems to becoming more and more immersed into living in a bits and bytes world. While I only enjoy using the Internet and its social media for research and to publicize my writings these days, there was a time when the majority of my life was spent on them.

I was once guilty of taking “selfies” constantly and posting them. I was also notorious for placing my status out there of where I was at any given time. But all of that behavior just made me a lot more selfish and self-centered to be perfectly honest. It also often got me in trouble when I posted my harsh opinions about various things out there for everyone to see. The worst part about it though was that I became more interested in living a digital fantasy life than I was in connecting with others in person. And sadly, all of these things are the unfortunate side effects to what the social medias and the digital age seem to be doing to society now.

While it’s my hope that greater numbers will find my blog now that I’m more connected on these social medias, I refuse to allow myself to use them for any other purpose other than this. I really don’t want to ever return to that old life where I made myself believe I was that important solely because I had hundreds of friends connected to me online. I also don’t want to go back to posting throughout the day where I’m at, what I’m doing, or about any of my other day-to-day things. I really don’t believe that my life is meant to be important on that kind of a level, but I do believe the spiritual words I write have far greater depth and weight because they continue to not only help me heal but others too.

Hopefully I can stick to my words and keep the promise to myself that I won’t let the social medias take over my life all over again. And hopefully people will find my blog a little better now. But what I really want is to continue experiencing the majority of my life outside of this bits and bytes world, and thankfully, I’m still doing that.

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson