Category: Words To Live By

I often come by interesting parables and stories that have inspired me on my own quest to becoming more selfless and giving. One that I came across awhile ago was all about sharing spiritually. What sharing spiritually means is when an individual is willing to give up something because they care so deeply. It’s also when they don’t feel that are owed anything in return for what is being spiritually shared either. When an individual takes an action and shares in this way, it’s unconditional and done without any type of agenda. The following story is an example of this type of spiritual sharing…

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There once was a Rabbi who was invited into a house one day by its owner. There the Rabbi came across a room where he saw the clothes of a clown. He asked the owner about the clothes and the owner told him the following story:

“Many times, I try to collect money for those in need. A poor person can come to me and I will go out in the city trying to collect whatever I can for them. One night, a man came asking for money and like usual I went looking, but for some reason on this particular night no one would offer me a penny! After I returned home, another person came and begged that I go for him as well, so I went back but again failed. Still later, someone else came asking for help and this time I managed to at least gather up the amount the man had asked for. I gave it to him and collapsed onto my bed, exhausted and ready for sleep. Suddenly there was a knock on the door. It was an extremely poor man. I wanted to help, but I was so tired and I had already asked everyone I knew. He pleaded with me until finally I had an idea. There was a rich man in the city who loathed giving to charity, but maybe the Light would make him do so just this once. I went to look for the rich man and found him in a tavern, drunk. When I told him what was happening, he reminded me he never gave to charity. But then he added, ‘Since I am in such a good mood right now, if you do something for me, I will make an exception just this once. All I want is for you to wear these clown clothes and walk around the city!” The rich man laughed loudly. He thought nobody would do such a thing because they would be laughed at and ridiculed. But I thought to myself, ‘If I don’t do this, there will be a poor man left with nothing.’ So I took the clown’s clothes and put them on. Sure enough, I was laughed at, spat upon and ridiculed. But thank goodness I got the money for the man who was in need.” 

Upon hearing this story, the Rabbi told the owner of the house, “If you are buried in those clown’s clothes, your soul will go straight to Heaven.”

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The point to this story is that the blessing didn’t come to the man just because he had shared. It’s the lengths he was willing to go in his quest to spiritually share a part of himself. The man was willing to go so far outside his comfort zone because he cared so deeply, even for a stranger, even beyond the point of exhaustion.

While I definitely know I haven’t gone to that great of a length in my life with any of the spiritual sharing I’ve done, it is something I would like to strive for. In the 12 Step world, they talk all the time about being willing to go to any lengths to maintain one’s recovery from addiction. In the spiritual world, I feel the same principle holds true as it did for this owner who was willing to wear a clown costume solely for the purpose of helping a poor soul. It’s my goal in life to become willing to go to those same great lengths to spiritually share, no matter what the cost is to myself. It’s a big goal to pursue, but one that I know God can guide me successfully towards.

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson

Restaurant openings are not normally an exciting thing I look forward to, especially not for a chained establishment I’ve already been dining at since the 1990’s. But a few days ago, I did exactly that when I went with my partner to the first Cheesecake Factory to come to Michigan, which had just opened its doors only two days earlier. Located at the Twelve Oaks Mall in Novi, MI, which is just outside Detroit, the opening marked the 164th addition for the restaurant chain. And if there is one thing you can expect to happen at any Cheesecake Factory, especially for one that just opened its doors with no others locations around it for several hundred miles, it’s that you are going to be waiting a long time to be seated.

Waiting for extended times at various restaurants is something quite familiar to me as I have dined out quite a bit throughout my life. But the longest I can honestly say I’ve ever had to wait to be seated at any restaurant is actually at the Cheesecake Factory. That’s only because the visit I had a few days ago to the one that just opened outside Detroit wasn’t the first opening I had ever been to for the chain. When I had lived in the Washington D.C. area, I had gone to one of their original openings back when there were only a handful of them in the country and that was at the one being opened in Bethesda, Maryland. I can still remember that night I went there and waited for over 3 hours and 30 minutes simply because the hype had been so great surrounding the restaurant. On many other occasions of dining there in the years that followed, my wait times were still between two and three hours.

I’m not sure if it’s the 200 plus menu item choices, or the 38 types of cheesecake, or the incredibly large portions that convince so many people to wait for as long as they do like I always have at the Cheesecake Factory. But either way, I learned very early on with this chain that the worst time to go is definitely in its first few weeks of opening, especially in an area where there has never been one. And the only reason why I went to another grand opening again was purely for the fact that my partner and I had a gift certificate to use and that it’s his favorite restaurant chain.

While it’s a no brainer to me now that one can expect long waiting times to be seated when a big named restaurant first opens its doors, that didn’t seem to be the same feeling shared with many others I observed in the Novi restaurant the other day. It appeared that quite a number of people came with too high of expectations. Many were grumpy and complaining on how long they had to wait or how the wait times kept changing. My partner and I arrived directly between the lunch and dinner hours and were told it was going to be 70 minutes before we would get seated. Given my previous experiences with the Cheesecake Factory, I knew it was going to be a lot longer than that. So instead of staying in the throngs of people crammed together near the front desk, I took a stroll into the mall. When I returned, there were even more people jammed together so I chose to wait outside instead. I found a nice spot by myself and enjoyed the cool air on a very beautiful summer day. By the time we had gotten seated, it had taken just about two hours of time and I was pleasantly surprised as I thought it was going to be even longer than that. Even better, I was calm and stress free. My partner on the other hand was extremely tense and quite upset about the whole process, had visited the front desk several times, and had commented on how he felt many others had gotten seated ahead of us that shouldn’t have been. What’s interesting is that I saw a mirror with him reflecting back on myself to how I once was. It’s how I was at that Bethesda opening when I waited for those three and a half hours and it’s how I acted for many years after that, at many other restaurants, where I had also endured any long waiting times to be seated.

Thankfully, after we were seated, my partner quickly got over his frustrations and we had a very enjoyable meal. During it, we spoke to many of the waitresses that passed by who told us that quite a few people were extremely irritated and grumpy over the length of time it took them to get seated. Some had even waited up to five hours of time and weren’t very miserable about it. I was grateful I wasn’t one of them as not once had I felt stressed about the wait time. Is that due to the fact that I had been down that road so many times before? Or is it because I had compassion for a place that was just trying to get its new bearings in order? Or could it have been that all those prayers to God to gain greater patience have paid off? I’m not sure which of them is the truest answer, but regardless, I’m just grateful I remained calm and had an enjoyable experience from the time we arrived till the time we left several hours later.

Whether you find yourself waiting a long time at a restaurant to be seated like I did the other day, or are in a long line for a ride at an amusement park, or are at some store waiting to purchase something, I encourage you to take a moment, breathe, and realize it’s a choice you’re making to continue doing so. Ask God to give you patience if you decide to remain there, especially for those moments when it appears that others are getting ahead of you or that it’s taking way too long. You might find in doing so that your wait time flies by much quicker than if you decided to complain your whole way through it instead.

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson

Fears can be paralyzing for many people. There are an infinite amount of things in this world that often drive people into that type of fear. Some of the ones I’ve faced throughout my life have included the fear of economic security, of being alone, of having health issues, of certain animals or creatures, of bosses at various jobs, of my sexuality, of my parents, and even of God to be totally honest.

Each of those fears have completely shut me down at times to where I feel incapacitated to do anything at all. But I’ve learned that the best way to overcome any fears is to confront them head-on and walk through it with faith that everything will be ok in doing so.

A good and simple example of this is the fact that I used to be completely freaked out by spiders. There came a time when I got tired of jumping every time I saw one, no matter what its size or shape was. During a moment of meditation on a retreat many years ago, I was able to remain calm enough when I saw one crawling near me. Instead of doing my usual running away, I did the exact opposite by asking God for protection and then reaching out and touching it. And ironically, since then, a spider’s presence doesn’t overwhelm me like it used to. And instead of running from them or squishing them as quickly as possible when I see one, I either observe them, or if they’re in my house, I take them outside.

The main reason why I’ve shared this minor example with you is that it’s my belief today that I can apply it to anything that causes me that paralyzing fear. For years I stayed in the closet about my being gay and drank massive quantities of alcohol to deal with the terrible fears I had surrounding it all. But there came a day then too when I called upon God and asked for help in dealing with those fears which in doing so, I was able to pick up the phone and call my parents where I told them I was attracted to men. I fully accept my sexuality today as a part of who I am because of those actions.

Time and time again, I have gone through many other examples where I have had those paralyzing fears and initially did nothing but crawl into my own tortoise shell and hide. But rarely have I ever stayed in that shell for very long because of my inward desire to not let any fears control me.

Currently, I’d have to say that I’m facing the biggest fear in my life yet and that’s over my current health situation. Many of my previous entries in here have touched upon what I’ve been going through on that realm. It certainly has been a challenge to walk through a lot of fear every single day as my body aches and groans continuously with no reprieve. But there was a time that I didn’t want to face my health issues and instead took a lot of medications to numb myself from feeling anything or acted out in various addictions to shift my attention away from dealing with them. Thankfully, each day now, I awake and ask God for the strength and courage to walk through these fears I have over my health issues for another day so that I don’t fall into any old patterns of numbing myself. I truly believe that just as I overcame those paralyzing fears with spiders, my sexuality, and so many other things in life, there will come a day soon where I have no fear surrounding the state of my mind, body, and soul either.

Don’t get me wrong, facing any paralyzing fear is a difficult thing. But, in seeking out God’s help for all of the major ones that I’ve confronted in my life, I have successfully been able to overcome each of them.

I encourage all of you to take a moment today and breathe as you think about any fears in your own life that are paralyzing. Seek God’s help to confront them head-on and know that they will begin to lose the power they had over you in doing so. In time, I’m sure you will look back with amazement on how you walked through each of them, which only will make it easier for any future ones that come along your way.

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson