Category: Words To Live By

I find it ironic how much life sure has become a dichotomy. As a teenager and eventually a young adult, I never wanted to sleep long hours, was active in so many things I barely ever had any free time, enjoyed big group get-togethers, struggled to settle down with one person in a relationship for very long, had to always buy a ton of in-things, chased whatever would bring me large paychecks, and loved living in or around some large city that seemed to consistently support all of that. But now as a middle-aged man, none of that is true for me anymore.

As a middle-aged man, I like to sleep in late and like taking naps when I can. My activities are kept more limited, as my downtime has become more precious. I feel like a fish out of water at big group get-togethers and would rather hang out with one or two people at the most. I hardly buy any of those in-things anymore because I don’t feel I need them nor the stress they seem to create having them. Usually, I just let things age until they stop working. I’m finally having to face that with my iPhone 6s Plus that I purchased back in 2015. I also don’t desire to have a job anymore that pays me incredible sums of money and am more inclined to do work that just feels satisfying even if it pays me nothing like my current path with all the volunteer work I do. And where I once loved city and surrounding suburban dwelling, lately I long for the peace of rural living where I won’t have to see or hear neighbors within a few feet from my home.

With all these personality changes, I’ve been wondering lately if this huge contrast of who I once was from my younger years is just a factor of getting older. I’d argue it’s not necessarily that because I know many who are still living as much like their younger selves, except now having just more responsibilities in life. So if that’s not it, why have I become such a stark contrast from who I once was?

There is only one thing that’s different in my life today and in the past decade or so that wasn’t present in my old personality, and that was seeking a Higher Power, whom I choose to call God. Up until I was in my mid to late 30’s, the concept of God was just something that I sought when life got out of control. But as soon as I regained control, I didn’t ever seek God. Now, I seek God all the time because my 12 Step recovery showed me a healthier way of living by seeking something Greater than myself to guide my life. When I was guiding my life more than not, I sought a lot of things that I don’t believe were ever authentic to my heart and soul. They were only authentic to what my ego thought it needed for survival and happy living.

Nevertheless, the more I seek out God in my life these days, the more I find myself not relating much to a vast number of people on this planet where the focus seems to be greater with pleasing oneself than others. I truly believe human nature is inherently selfish and I was so incredibly selfish in life until I began seeking something Greater to guide my life. Now that I try to do that on a daily basis, something I give credit to my 12 Step recovery program, I feel what I seek in life is far different than what most others are seeking. I face a lot of adversity now more than ever because of it, especially whenever I do actions out of selflessness, much of which are often met with suspicion, judgments, and attacks upon my character.

I see my future evolving now into something so drastically different from what my youthful self once envisioned because of my relationship with a Higher Power. A future self that most likely will involve only a few spiritual friends and a hopefully a continued monogamous relationship, weekends spent more home than out, travel to places that are quieter rather than bustling with nightlife and activity, employment that isn’t about its pay and more about its fulfillment for God, and living in the country where I don’t find myself stressing out over neighbors living essentially on top of me.

Life sure has become a dichotomy from the person I once was…but I’m becoming ok with that. Because I’d rather have a life with a Higher Power at the helm, where life finally seems to be heading somewhere, as when I was at the helm, like always felt like it was going nowhere, except down…

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

The other day I was driving around locally, passing through a yellow light that was about to turn red. Just as I was almost through the intersection, it indeed turned the scarlet color, momentarily blocking the forward progress of some guy in a brand-new Jeep for a millisecond of time. He immediately flipped me off and loudly yelled out his window some very strong expletives at me, leaving me wondering are people losing their minds, as this seems to be becoming the norm these days.

People really seem to be flipping out so very quickly now, living on such short fuses. Why are people acting like this so much these days? There is a growing number of alarming examples of this, of verbal and physical violence over even the most minor of things now, things that once never created any sort of issue whatsoever and were easily diffused with an “I’m sorry” when they happened. Except that’s not happening anymore.

Take for example the movie I watched recently in a local theater where some guy was ready to go to blows with another guy simply over him asking the other to turn his phone off. Or a neighbor telling me about a person who followed them home one afternoon, all because some driver was mad at how slow they had been going in front of them, who wanted to make sure they knew how mad they were. Or what about that guy who shot a McDonald’s employee recently because their fries weren’t done right??? Seriously, what is wrong with this world presently?

What is causing this? Why does everyone seem like they are boiling kettles ready to burst at any given moment at someone else? Some say it’s due to our political climate that started a few terms ago. Others say it’s an energetic shift happening on this planet. There are those who say it’s what the pandemic caused. And some ultra-religious believe it’s the sign of end-times to come. What I believe is that this world is becoming more and more godless, choosing self over anyone else, paying more attention to one’s own needs, wants, and desires, more than anyone else’s, being more self-absorbed, then selfless in life. It’s easy to do so when fear consumes the mind and fear is what is racing around our planet now with all that has been going on.

There is only one reason why I don’t act this way with others. It’s because I believe there is something out there, up there, around us, and in us, or all of the above, which I choose to label as God, that I feel guides me to be a better person, one more selfless, than selfish. Yes, our world has changed dramatically in recent years with one terrible thing happening after another. But one thing hasn’t changed for me during all of it, and that’s my seeking a Higher Power to guide me through it all, rather than me looking to guide myself through it all, making myself my own higher power in the process. Unfortunately, I think more and more people are choosing to be the center of their own universes now, guiding themselves through all this drama in any way they know, which often ends up being more selfish and self-centered than selfless.

So, do I think people are losing their minds? Not exactly, no. What I do think though is that more and more people are living out of their minds with this increasing fear, choosing themselves before anyone else, focusing on pleasing their own nature, rather than being respectful of others. I know that pattern well having been an active and seriously sick addict for well over two decades with a number of addictions. Living in addictions often leads a person to act this way. I pray daily to my Higher Power to not be this way anymore, as I too have felt the desire to lash out at times with all this fear. And for the few times I have, I realize how toxic it’s been, not just for my spiritual path, but also for the world in general.

There indeed is a lot of fear in our crazy world right now and yes, the world does often feel so very upside down. But the answer to dealing with this isn’t through acts of expletive outbursts, rage, or physical violence. That will never change anything and will only make this problem grow worse. The answer I believe is to go within, to calm the mind enough to reach the heart/soul, as there seems to be the main place I always find a Greater love for others more so than myself. And the more I work on connecting to that place, the easier it’s been to diffuse and disconnect from any heightened situation that might otherwise become something far more out-of-control if I was to try to navigate it from my mind instead…

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Do you ever feel the desire to permanently remove yourself from all social media, yet at the same time feel as if you can’t, because doing so might mean you’re going to miss out on something or be disconnecting too much from the world around you? This dilemma has become a regular thought for many now, me included, even just now as I sip my beverage in this Starbucks watching a young woman in front of me snap a quick picture of her Grande Pink Drink and post it all over her social media sites, most likely with the hope she’ll now receive a bunch of likes and recognition from it.

I’ve been guilty of this very same behavior. How many times have I posted some candid picture of myself somewhere or of some neat place I’ve just visited, solely in the hopes to gain my own set of likes and recognition. Could this be the primary motive deep down within most of us who regularly post things on social media? Do we do this just because we want to be seen, heard, or known a little more in life?

Here’s an interesting question to ponder for all those who regularly use social media. If no one EVER liked any of your postings and you never got any recognition from any of them ever again, would you continue to post anything or even use social media at all? Is it a safe assumption to say that many of you probably wouldn’t solely because social media has primarily become a tool to post pictures of ourselves, our meals, our drinks, our vacations, our gardens, our animals, and everything in between simply to makes us feel a little more important somehow in a world where it’s easy to feel so unimportant now. At the core then, has social media become more of a selfish tool than a selfless one, with most sharing things more for their own gain than for truly connecting with others?

What was first meant to be a way to connect individuals together who normally might not be able to, now feels more like it’s creating a disconnect between so many, with plenty of unhealthy emotions being cultivated in the process. It’s why I typically don’t spend time looking at anyone’s timelines on any social media anymore, because each time I do, it just seems to make me feel like I’m always missing out, which is better known these days as “FOMO” (The Fear Of Missing Out).

FOMO is described by mental health professionals as an emotional response to the belief that other people are living better, more satisfying lives or that important opportunities are being missed out on. And it has become widely observed that having this condition often leads to feelings of unease, dissatisfaction, depression, and stress.

I can attest to this, as within 15 minutes or less looking at other’s timelines, I begin to feel more down than up, more disconnected than connected, more left out than part of, all as I observe one person after another who seems to be more desirable than I ever will, or see all the places I’ll never be able to visit that others have, or witness all the parties I wasn’t invited to from people I knew, or visualize all the possessions individuals acquired that I’ll never be able to afford, or view all the talent someone has that I may never have, and so on. This is precisely why I find myself not wanting to be on social media anymore.

My original intention and only reason why I still remain on social media is not necessarily for cultivating connection with others, as I rarely feel that happening anymore. Rather, I remain on it solely to share this blog with others, not to get likes, but with the hopes it will help others with specific parts of their own spiritual journey. This I can say is truly more of a selfless action than a selfish one, something I can’t say is true each time I post pictures of myself or of my life. Honestly, I kind of liked life long before social media ever came around when sharing photos from hand-held albums within our homes was more about creating joy and connection with those we were doing it with, than about creating FOMO with countless individuals we’ll probably never meet or spend any time with.

While I really don’t know where this social media journey is heading for all of us in this world, if I were to guess, it’s a life where one will only feel like they matter when they have a ton of connection, likes, and presence in the digital realm. I honestly hope to never live life that way because ultimately, I believe I matter solely because I am a child of God with a loving soul who longs for heart-to-heart connections, something social media never seems to bring me, but something that I know plenty of my in-person interactions have, which is why I will probably always seek that over improving my social media presence, for however long I have left in this life…

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson