Category: Words To Live By

I just discovered that the man who molested me when I was around 13 years old was arrested at the age of 71 and indicted on charges of viewing and distributing child pornography.

There was a time many years ago when hearing news of this would probably have made me quite ecstatic and resulted in me saying some strong expletives along with the words, “Serves him right!” But ironically, that’s not how I reacted when I discovered this news the other day. Rather, I only felt sadness and compassion for a man who obviously has lived with a sexual illness that completely controlled him for the past three decades.

Facing 5 to 20 years now in prison, this man will probably see most of his final days here on Earth from the confines of a jail cell. While karma really does have a way of eventually catching up to people’s past toxic actions, I’m definitely glad I didn’t hold on to all that anger and rage and resentment I once held towards him. I worked extremely hard to forgive him once I found recovery from a life of addictions, because all that negativity I was harboring towards him was only hurting me in the long run.

I’ve had plenty of friends and acquaintances though, who too were molested as kids, that have instead chosen to hold onto all that anger, rage, and resentment towards their perpetrator for their entire adulthood. They claim its served them well and helped them navigate through life. But, I beg to differ.

For all the years I did the same, I only pushed people away because I refused to allow anyone to get close to my heart, especially someone who was male. Instead, I kept pretty much everyone at arm’s length and lived a very lonely and angry life inside because of it. This only led to failed friendships and relationships and entire days consumed with negativity and hatred.

While it was enormously challenging to find forgiveness in my heart for a man who robbed me of my youth and sexual development, it was worth it in the end because the freedom I gained from it allowed me to be in the healthiest partnership I’ve ever been in, as well as draw far closer to my sister and friends too.

But, there’s also something even more important I realized as I pondered the recent arrest of my childhood molester. Even if I had never forgiven this man and still harbored all that anger, rage, and resentment, his arrest wouldn’t have fixed anything within me. It wouldn’t have taken away any of that pain I once felt so deeply within. Ultimately, it wouldn’t have done a single thing other than bring someone to justice who had needed to be brought to justice long ago.

The fact is, I had to be the one to free myself of the prison I placed myself in after I got molested by this man. And I had to be the one to free myself of all the negativity I held towards him for years. Thankfully, I did just that, a long time ago, and have never looked back with anything but sadness and compassion for a man, which is exactly how I believe Jesus would look upon this sick man as well.

So, if you are someone who was molested as a kid like I was, hopefully you have forgiven that person or persons long ago. But, if you haven’t, and are still harboring anger, rage, or resentment towards them, please know it’s not serving your Highest Good in any way, shape, or form. Rather, it’s stunting your spiritual growth and only causing you to become more and more sick as time goes on. Please forgive, let go, and realize in doing so, that freedom will come. And when it does, you too will be left with only sadness and compassion for the one(s) who violated you, and at least with only those feelings remaining, you can move on in your life with far healthier connections that are based and grounded in unconditional love and light.

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Is how we communicate headed in the wrong direction? When I was growing up, phone calls always seemed to be answered with actual human contact and people interacted with each other more than not. But, over the past four and a half decades I’ve lived on this Earth, it seems as if that is growing less and less.

At first, all any of us had in this world were in-person interactions with each other, where we were forced to communicate with each other face-to-face.

Then the home phone was created, which is the generation I was born into. And people back then seemed to answer their home phones more than not, thus keeping at least verbal communicate at a higher level.

But then came those bulky answering machines. Remember those big boxes that had actual recording tapes in them? Once those things came around, people began to screen their calls at home instead of answering their ringing phones and communication between each other started to lower.

Then came caller id and digital voicemail, where it became even easier for people to just let their incoming calls go unanswered more and more.

Soon pagers were created and communication went digital with those little machines handling numeric and then text-based messages, where people could send brief communications rather than have to resort to lengthier conversations.

Then came computers with e-mail and instant messaging, and the world began to sit behind their feelings through bits and bytes on a screen in front of them, instead of having to opening up in actual live conversations.

When the cellular market took off next, for a moment, because it was cool, it really seemed as if there was a resurgence in direct communication between all of us. But unfortunately, when texting emerged not too long after and became an inexpensive thing to do on those cellular devices, it started taking a higher method of communication than anything else.

In recent years, the use of emoji’s has limited our human interaction even more to a level that reminds me of something straight out of Mike Judge’s “Idiocracy” movie, which was a film about a futuristic world that has been totally dumbed down by technology.

Why I’m saying all this is only for the simple fact that I struggle with the number of times these days people don’t ever answer their phones or even listen to their voicemails and instead opt to send a quick text message saying all is well. I just dealt with that today in fact, when I tried to reach out to someone over the phone who I was hoping to develop a friendship with, yet what I received back was a text message where I was thanked for the call and told they hoped all was well, but they had no time to connect over the phone.

And now with this new trend of sending only emoji’s as a way of expressing one’s feelings, instead of making a quick call or seeing someone in person, it’s as if society doesn’t want to connect to each other directly anymore these days. Rather, it’s feels as if people are withdrawing more and more into an emotionless and impersonal state where direct contact with human beings is becoming faux-pas.

I mentioned something similar in a previous article where I have heard of parents now having to resort to messaging their kids even when they are in the same house at the same time. And have you ever noticed in restaurants now where two people are dining together and using the entire time to text instead of talk to each other?

It’s no wonder why depression and anxiety and the use of medications are all on the rise. Everyone seems to be on an SSRI these days as well. Is this because people have withdrawn too much from each other and find communication through things like a video game chat room as being enough human interaction.

Maybe this is why the suicide rate continues to rise?

Maybe this is why people are resorting to gun violence?

And maybe this is why people aren’t interested in growing their spirituality anymore?

If we are all inherently connected by Spirit but continue to choose to decrease our forms of direct communication, then we are only going to lose all sense of even having a spiritual connection to each other in the long run. And if the trend continues, I fear that one day, there won’t be any more direct human interaction at all between us on a verbal or in-person level.

Let’s hope that I’m wrong on this. But in the meantime, I’m going to stay old-fashioned and keep on calling people, even if they don’t feel like picking up. Because eventually, I think that every human being will feel alone enough to want to talk to pick up the phone and talk to someone, or even meet in-person to know they aren’t alone…because without that type of communication, this world can often feel like a very lonely place to be in…

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Two months ago, Jorge Garcia, a 39-year old man who’s lived in the United States for more than 30 years, was deported to Mexico due to current legislation targeting undocumented immigrants. Left behind were his wife, Cindy, and his two children, Jorge Jr, 12, and Soleil, 15, all of which are U.S. citizens.

Jorge, was brought originally to the U.S. by an undocumented family member when he was 10 years old. Since 2005, he has been searching for a path to legally live in the U.S. and has racked up over $125,000 in legal costs in the process. While he has actually faced deportation ever since 2009, the previous administration had provided him stays of removal that kept him here. But under the current administration, he was officially ordered back in November to return to Mexico. And unfortunately, Jorge was too old to qualify for DACA (Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals), which protects children of undocumented immigrants, thus leaving him with no options and his forced exit from the United States on January 15^th.

Currently, Jorge is now living with his Aunt in on the second floor of a small house and has been feeling completely lost ever since, as he resides in a country that doesn’t feel like home whatsoever. With no criminal record here in the States, not even a single traffic violation ever, a solid work history, and someone who always paid his taxes every single year, I’m truly struggling to understand why this had to happen to Jorge.

Sadly, it’s been almost two months now since his deportation and his demise seems to have completely drifted out of the news. I have looked at the picture of him and his family hugging each other at the Detroit airport multiple times ever since I first came across his story and have felt a pain in my heart that I don’t know if I have the right words to back the feeling up.

What I can say is this. I have great compassion for Jorge Garcia and the family he had to leave behind. While I do know there are undocumented immigrants in this country that abuse our system, that deal drugs, and create more problems than provide benefits of remaining here, I wish there were changes to this legislation that would take each situation case-by-case, that looked at things like criminal records and tax histories, and maybe even got reports from previous employers. But alas, there is nothing of the sort and now an upstanding husband, father, and former three-decade long resident of the country I’m from is barred from being here. And for a man who worked morning to night doing landscaping to support his family, raising his kids, and loving his wife, I struggle to find any valid reason, other than broad legislation, why Jorge should have been deported.

If you’re wondering why I feel so passionate about this, enough to write an entry in my blog about it, it’s because of the great pain his story brings to my heart and soul. I can’t imagine what it must feel like right now being in Jorge’s shoes or even in his wife’s or kid’s either. I’m sure there have been many tear-filled nights on all parts concerned, as I would have plenty of my own too if I was in their situation. Nevertheless, I pray that somehow Jorge may one day be allowed to return to the United States and get official citizenship and I pray for all others who may have fallen into a similar situation as he.

In the end, my parting thoughts are this. I totally understand why so many are struggling right now to feel proud to be Americans. Hopefully, this will change soon, but until it does, I can only hope my words and my prayers may at least bring some light into the darkness of Jorge’s situation and the darkness that feels so present right now on our very soil…

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson