Category: Words To Live By

These entries focus on spiritual ways of looking at things I may come across in life each and every day.

Are We Moving Farther And Farther Away From Having Healthy Communication With Each Other?

One of the things I think I’m probably most concerned about with the direction our society is heading in, is the growing disconnection we seem to have with each other, especially when it comes to much of the new generations in life where the strongest form of “healthy” communication seems to be in texting.

I’ve been reading about how addictions are massively on the rise in our culture, especially since the pandemic first came upon us, and I tend to believe much of that is due to our present forms of “healthy” communication. Because the forms we are using now are really less about communicating and more about avoidance. How many times I’ve called people in recent years who’ve had voicemails that are full, I’ve lost count. I spoke to a college student last week here locally who told me they never listen to their voicemail and tend to leave it full. Most of their generation say the best way to reach them to communicate is via text.

People want to know why depression and suicide attempts continue to increase every year. This is why. Human beings weren’t born to simply immerse themselves in text messages, social media and the like. While one may have tons of friends or followers on their social media, that doesn’t translate to having healthy communication and connection. Isn’t having healthy communication and connection more about one person meeting another for a coffee or meal, or maybe taking a stroll through a local park with each other, to talk about life, and show  how much they matter to each other.

Many addicts have also been relapsing into old addictions in the past few years while others began a path of addiction, all because the pandemic moved them further away from having healthy communication due to quarantine and isolation. While video chats helped to alleviate some of the loneliness, it wasn’t enough for some who chose addictions to cope with the lack of real human connection.

Nevertheless, I miss those days when people actually had healthy communication with each other on buses, in stores, at restaurants, in public places, amongst strangers even. Today, not so much. Today, all it takes is a quick look around in public where you’ll see so many blankly staring into their phones rather than at the people they’re spending time with. Believe me, I’ve fallen into this pattern at times as well all because of the fear of missing out on something. But this is one of the main reasons why our world keeps digressing more and more from healthy communication.

Healthy communication is about being there for each other, learning about each other, supporting each other, making eye contact, and showing in those moments, that one doesn’t have to be alone in a world that these days seems so easy to feel alone.

So, the next time you find yourself feeling disconnected, alone, or isolated in this world, try reaching out to a friend over the phone, or better yet, meet one in person and be fully present with them, rather than immersed in whatever forms of the digital realm you carry with you. Because it’s in those moments you dedicate to another human soul, that often become the very thing that not only will help you feel less alone in this world, but also help another feel less alone as well, especially someone like me who has always felt more overlooked in society than embraced. I treasure real human interaction and thank all those who continue to call me or meet me in person. It’s each of you who have demonstrated healthy communication and reminded me I do matter in a world I often feel like I don’t…

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Sometimes When We Don’t Get The Results We Want, Maybe We’re Actually Being Spared From Even Greater Pain…

A valuable lesson I continue to learn in life is that sometimes when things don’t go the way I think they should be going and I end up not getting the results I want, may actually be my Higher Power sparing me from even greater pain if I had actually gotten what I wanted.

In the beginning of January of 2010, I would experience a day where I thought it was the worst thing that could ever happen to me. On that day, I’d sign on a dotted line for the short sale of my business (a bed and breakfast) and my home, where I officially lost $660,000 of cash that I had invested into both over the previous 7 years.

When I began that path in 2003, acquiring that business and home, I was bright-eyed and bushy-tailed so to speak when it came to the new life I was building. As each year passed, I kept sinking more and more money into the business attempting to keep it afloat, with constant promises by my partner at the time that one day we’d sell it for well over 7 figures, and all of it will have been worth it.

In 2009, during the tail end of the housing crisis/shortage, we weren’t even able to pay a single mortgage bill for the entire year. Frankly, I was amazed that we didn’t go through a foreclosure that year. With little money left in the bank and not enough customers to support the business, more money was going out than coming in. Through a miracle, the owners of a competing bed and breakfast in town purchased it from us at the 11th hour, allowing me personally to walk away from it with nothing more than the shirt on my back. As the years passed after that, I checked on my old business from time to time, even stopping by at one point to see how it was faring. I was amazed at how even more beautiful it had become and thought for sure it had more than earned a 7-figured value. The thought of that though made me sick with all the financial loss I incurred from it.

I let this occupy me for years, often making me very resentful at times. I frequently wrestled with the thought that maybe I could have re-financed or invested a little more into it to get out of the hole we were in. But then one day, when I was on my own personal website, checking the links on my “About Me” page, I realized the hyperlink to my old bed and breakfast had become a dead page. I hit the link a few times thinking maybe it was a mistake. I even typed in the URL directly and the result stayed the same. After some digging, I discovered the bed and breakfast I once owned was no longer a bed and breakfast and had become a weekly rental property. After further digging, I discovered the innkeepers who bought the place from us in 2010 had sold it at the beginning of the pandemic for $765,000, which was only $80,000 more than I had originally paid for it, a number I was at least spending every year to keep it afloat.

Learning this blew my mind! After 10 years had passed since I had last owned that business, it had never even came close to the value my ex had promised we’d get from our investment. I realized that If I had remained in that business, spending even more to keep it afloat, refinancing, or doing something more to not lose it, I would have experienced far more financial loss than I did.

So yes, while I learned an incredible number of spiritual lessons from my life surrounding my old bed and breakfast and home, the most recent one I learned is one that continues to show me that my Higher Power always sees the bigger picture, even when I often don’t, and does spare me at times from even greater pain if I had actually gotten what I wanted…

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Did The Pandemic Make People Angrier?

Anger seems to be a topic I’m writing about a lot lately, as I’ve been seeing so many examples of it when I silently observe the world around me, which is why lately I find myself wondering if the pandemic has led to this. It really seems as if everyone is on edge now, extremely irritable, and that it doesn’t take much to set someone off in a spew of rage or anger.

Case in point, when I was sitting in a theater the other day watching a movie, some guy near me had been looking at his phone briefly when suddenly another near him started shouting obscenities over it. Soon, the two were in a heated exchange, causing everyone nearby to miss an important part of the movie. I did my best to tune it out and thankfully the feud stopped shortly thereafter without any acts of violence.

Has the pandemic somehow made people become more like this, like ticking time-bombs, waiting to jump on someone else for doing something they feel they shouldn’t be doing? Are people purposely wanting to get into verbal fights or worse now? Gun violence seems higher now since the pandemic began, and frightfully it’s also becoming easier to carry a concealed weapon, making me feel so unsafe, as I’m more of a pacifist, even in the face of anger and violence.

My truth is that I don’t like anger, rage, people raising their voices, or anything of the sort. It’s why I tend to steer clear now of people who are like this, including my partner when he exhibits it, as I don’t want to be around anyone who’s primary exuded emotion is that of anger. Frankly, it makes my health issues feel even worse and my pain far higher.

The fact is, I have never seen anything good come out of uncontrolled anger, especially when it’s been inflicted upon another. It never brings people closer and instead, typically creates more division and chaos, sabotaging all feelings of closeness, and sometimes even ending a beautiful connection because of it.

I’m reminded of what Bill Wilson once said in his book Alcoholics Anonymous when it comes to anger. He stated that “If we were to live, we had to be free of anger.” I agree. I know many would argue though that even Jesus got angry. This of course is in direct reference to the tables he overturned in the temple where the moneychangers were doing business there. What is often misunderstood here is that the only times Jesus got angry was when God was being dishonored. Never did Jesus lash out just for the sake of lashing out. Rather, Jesus used compassion more than not for teaching lessons. But compassion isn’t the primary emotion that seems to be emoting from most right now.

Personally, I don’t have the luxury of getting angry because anytime I get that way and remain in it, I look for some addiction to numb myself from the strong emotion. That’s why I regularly use prayer and meditation now, as that seems to help keep me more at peace, especially when anger crops up.

So, whether the pandemic has increased people’s anger or not I don’t know, but what I do know is that quieting my mind is necessary to deal with it when it appears. Trying to control it though without any prayer or meditation only leaves me in even worse of moods and more heated than anything. The bottom line is that if one truly wants to see their anger die down within themselves, it’s never going to happen by trying to control any situation to fit what their ego thinks should be happening. The change must come from within and that can start by quieting the mind to get to the source of that anger, something that will never happen when one chooses to yell or scream instead, as doing that only brings about greater pain and suffering for all involved, even though one’s ego will often try to convince oneself otherwise…

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson