The Twelfth Step

It’s pretty easy to give up on dreams, especially when we experience one letdown after another, and one setback after another in pursuit of them. Yet, I have always believed that if we don’t ever fully give up on them and continue to keep our faith in God, that they will come to fruition when they’re truly meant to. And thankfully, I got to see this very thing happen just over a week ago when a bunch of men I’m in a group with under the ManKind Project (MKP) went on a spiritual retreat together.

But before I talk about this retreat, I need to go back to where the pursuit of this dream actually began, that being the early 2000’s. You see, it was then when I helped to organize a similar retreat for the original men’s group I was part of under MKP in the Washington D.C. area. The purpose of that retreat was meant to help bond the members of that group closer together with a lot stronger ties, given how estranged we all felt outside of the group from each other, and it worked. In fact, it worked so well, we repeated the very same retreat multiple times in subsequent years after that. During each of those retreats, not only did I feel much closer to the members of my group, I also witnessed a lot of spiritual, mental, and emotional healing take place in each man who attended.

Unfortunately, I eventually had to move pretty far away, which caused me to have to leave the group. Several years would go by after that where I had nothing but fond memories to live off of, because there were no other MKP groups nearby. But when my life took me to the Boston vicinity to live around 2007, I found an MKP group there and started over with an entirely new set of men. Sadly though, each time I brought up the idea of us all going on a spiritual retreat together, it was always met with little to no interest. After a number of years, I left that group and joined another in the same region, hoping things might be different there. Yet, once again, my idea of a group spiritual retreat didn’t excite the men one bit.

I’m sure some of this was a big factor in why I drifted away from the ManKind Project for a few years after that, except I never did fully give up on my dream during any of that time. The memories I had of my original MKP group kept me going long enough to try it again when I moved to Toledo, Ohio and joined a group there during my first year. Sadly, it, nor the group I started after that ever became interested in going away together for a weekend spiritual retreat.

One would think I might have given up at this point on ever seeing this dream come true, but I didn’t. Even after four groups and four attempts to recreate some of the magic that came from my original MKP group, I kept my hope alive and joined a much larger group in a thriving MKP community about an hour drive from where I lived, in a place called Ann Arbor, Michigan. And after attending that group for just over a year, I asked if anyone was interested in the idea of us all going on a men’s spiritual retreat together for a weekend, and wouldn’t you know, a resounding “Yes!” came from all of them.

Six months later, that dream finally came to fruition. And while the experience was different in a number of ways from my original group, it was still amazing on so many levels. I watched plenty of men heal from past wounds, I saw closer bonds forged, and I felt a lot of spiritual love through all the activities, meals, and free time spent together.

So, in light of all this, the lesson I learned here is to never give up on any dream, even if I experience one setback after another in pursuit of it. Because ultimately, I think that all dreams are possible, as long as I continue to pursue them. Thankfully, I did just that and am going to use that energy to not only propel myself forward to next retreat, but also to seeing my other dream through as well, that being to my health restored to a level of functionality where I can return to work and be more physically active in life.

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson