Andy’s Happy Thanksgiving Wish!

Question: How can you make a turkey float?
Answer: You need 2 scoops of ice cream, some root beer, and a turkey!

Yeah, tomorrow’s Thanksgiving Day! I can’t wait to have my fill of Mr. Gobble Gobble and all those trimmings and desserts too. By the way, can you believe that Andrew is taking his partner out to some expensive restaurant for their holiday meal? I think it’s because he’s just a little bit impatient to wait for Chris to prepare it. Or maybe it’s because every time he helps out in the kitchen the local fire department seems to come for a visit! 🙂 In all seriousness though, I have to give Andrew a lot of credit because he’s been doing a ton of work on himself to heal his life and mine of course. So keep up the good work big bro!

Oh before I forget to tell you something, Andrew asked me to mention how he’s going to be taking a break from writing in his blog for the next couple of days. I guess that’s ok since every old geezer kind of needs one of those from time to time now don’t they? LOL. Anyways, you’ll at least still be seeing his brief Thought For The Day quotes during that time. That’s probably a good thing though because sometimes those quotes seem to be way more interesting than a few of his articles now don’t they? Just kidding Andrew!

Well before I go and before I bore you to death, (I bet you thought I was going to make another joke here on Andrew now didn’t you?) the main reason why Andrew had me write today’s entry was to be the one to wish you all a very Happy Thanksgiving. I only hope that each of you will treat those you spend it with really well. This is a day to bring family, friends and loved ones together. It’s not a day for fighting, arguing, or being mean to each other ok? And one more thing, if you happen to know of someone who has no one to be with for the holiday, maybe you could ask him or her to spend it with you so that they’re not alone. Andrew and I went through a few of them like that over the years and they were always very lonely.

So that’s about it everyone! Just remember to bless your turkey or whatever food you have to eat this Thanksgiving. Be grateful for having food in the first place and for whomever you get to share it with. Love the little kid who still lives inside you and try to have some fun with them during this holiday. And with that, I wish each and every one of you a very Happy Thanksgiving!!!

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson

A Formal Amends To My BFF

To my BFF,

It’s been several months now since we last spoke. I know we both agreed at that point in time the best thing for our 17-year friendship was to leave the ball in your court, as you were dealing with issues surrounding me that you didn’t know how to get beyond. At first that seemed relatively easy for me to do given the pain I’ve felt over what’s happened between us these past nine months. But with Thanksgiving being a mere two days away, your silence has been becoming more and more difficult to bear.

But how could it not be since Thanksgiving and the holiday season in general holds so many beautiful memories of happiness and joy spent with each other? The thought of this one potentially passing without hearing from you at all has truly been doing a number on my heart and soul.

You see, I’ve never been that good at maintaining any friendships in life mostly because I was more concerned with my own needs, wants, and desires than anyone else’s. Somehow though you managed to stick by my side for all these years, even when I probably didn’t deserve it. I really have to thank God for that except now that I’ve moved far away from you, it seems as if that action alone has apparently done too much of a number on you too. And it’s one that I’ve been wondering lately if it will become the final nail in the coffin for our friendship.

I’m not God and never claimed to be, thus I cannot answer this question. But looking back, I sure did try to play God more than not throughout most of the years we spent together, of which I’m convinced took a huge toll on you. I know I championed far too many selfish, self-centered, dishonest, and fear based actions over our years as friends because I lost count of the number of times I had to say I’m sorry to you. I clearly see now how I damaged the cement that bound our friendship together time and time again. And although I’ve tried my best repair each of those cracks in recent years with you, I’ve had to accept that it may be too little too late.

To be totally honest, when I first started writing this letter, I wasn’t sure where it was heading, but now I do. I want to admit openly to you and myself that I screwed up and may have lost the best friend I ever had. Ironically, given your limited access to the Internet and the fact you’ve never even been on my blog, I’m not sure if you’ll ever see this, which may be exactly what God intends for this.

So this is my formal amends to you my friend, as you more than deserve it. For all those times I ignored you just to engage in one of my addictions, for all those times I said very nasty things to you because I wasn’t getting my way, for all those times I tried to control everything we did together, for all those times I roped you into needless drama between me and someone else, for all those times I tried to direct your life and make decisions for you based upon what I thought was best, for all those times I tried to manipulate you into doing what I wanted, and for all those times I was never there for you when you really needed your best friend, I’m sorry. I was wrong…in so many ways.

I let my selfishness, self-centeredness, dishonesty, and fear destroy a friendship that I believe God forged together long ago. I was ultimately afraid there might come a day when my past transgressions would come to a head and now it’s here.

While I may be driving on a much healthier road today with my Higher Power in the driver’s seat, I accept the fact that my past addiction-based actions have their consequences. Whether the loss of our friendship ends up being one of them or not, I believe only God knows and only time will tell.

Regardless, please just know I truly am sorry for all the pain I’ve caused you over the years. And whether I hear from you or not this Thanksgiving, this holiday season, or some day down the road, I wish you the very best in life my friend. I miss you and love you, now and forever. You are my brother and always will be, in this life and the next.

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson

Do You Unconditionally Help At Least 3 People On Most Days?

How often have you unconditionally helped at least three people throughout the course of any given day? This is a question I was asked recently, which led me to begin reflecting at the end of each night on whether I have or haven’t. I’m grateful to say that at least for today I have and even then some.

It began early this morning by having a somewhat lengthy phone conversation with someone in my recovery circles. There had been a few difficulties the previous night between the two of us that had temporarily strained our connection. In all likelihood, my former ego-based, self-centered persona would not have cared much about their feelings nor would I have owned any part in what actually caused the tension. Instead, I practiced the 10th step during that phone call by owning my side of the street, as well as learning from them how I could improve my communication skills in the future. I also actively listened to their current fears and struggles in life to demonstrate I was there more for them than for myself.

Not too long after that conversation I attended an AA meeting and participated in the topic for the day, which was all about handling one’s sex conduct in recovery. Most people normally shy away from sharing about topics such as this, like I used to. But nowadays I don’t. Given the lengthy addiction history and recovery I have these days with my sex conduct, I took the opportunity to share some of my own experience, strength, and hope with it hoping only to help those who might be still having difficulties in this part of their recovery.

Later that afternoon I met with one of my sponsees where I enjoyed spending about an hour going over their step work. That’s a far cry from how selfish I was back in the day when I rarely looked forward to meeting with any sponsee unless I was attracted to them. Now, I don’t sponsor people I have any sexual allure towards to and with those I do end up sponsoring, it’s solely for my desire to see each of them get well and nothing else.

As the evening set in, I attended a men’s group where I not only chaired the meeting for the entire night, I also helped to facilitate another man’s work on himself in an area he was truly struggling with. In many of these types of past men’s groups I was part of, I usually spent more time focusing on doing my own work than helping with someone else’s.

On my way home from that meeting I continued to help other unconditionally when I received a phone call from a new friend of mine who needed some help with their own sex and love addiction issues. I spent a good half hour doing my best to once again pass on my own experience, strength, and hope in that part of my recovery. And my desire to help others for today didn’t end there either.

Because last but not least, I’m taking my final waking moments of the day to write this entry while it’s fresh in my mind, with the only hope that it too might help another.

So while I definitely surpassed the goal of helping at least three people today unconditionally, tomorrow is brand new opportunity to do it again. I think I’m going to keep practicing this exercise because in the long run, I believe it’s only going to help me become even more selfless and spiritual in life.

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson