Why does God allow suffering? That’s a question so many would like to know the answer to, especially those who have gone through a lot of it in their life. I honestly wish I had the true answer to this question, given that I’ve been suffering myself with chronic pain issues for some time now.
How I’m currently handling this question is not something that seems to work for others, as I ultimately believe that I made a contract with myself before I ever came into this life. One where I was meant to go through this very suffering I’m going through now, solely to help raise my spiritual vibration.
Look, I know that might sound preposterous, but really, if you knew me just over six years ago and any year before that dating back into my late teens, then you would see how much of a transformation I’ve gone through already that wasn’t happening before I began dealing with this pain. As prior to this, I lived in a constant state of addiction with someone or something. I also was always manipulating, lying, controlling, scheming, and lacking in compassion, generosity, and sensitivity for anyone going through tough times.
Except that’s all different now, and all that has come through this suffering. But do I enjoy suffering? Hell no, with a strong emphasis on the word Hell, because it often feels like I’m living in Hell these days. Yet, somehow, I care a lot more about people now. I consider other’s needs, wants, and desires ahead of my own more than not. I let life going on around me happen so much more than how I used to try to control every second of it. I tell the truth all the time, even when it hurts. And I don’t have constant hidden agendas anymore either.
This suffering really has changed me. Greatly.
It’s opened a heart within me that was closed for years and helped me to become more respectful not just of people, but also of nature and all the animals and creatures that live amongst us. In fact, I often try to rescue many of them that come into my house now, by escorting them outside in a glass, rather than stomping on them, like I used to do in the past. And as hard as it is for me to admit this, suffering has transformed me from being a guy who once threw a duck’s nest and all its eggs back at the duck in anger, only because it was on my property, to someone whose heart now grieves at the thought of ever doing something like that again.
Yes, I was that type of guy before this suffering.
And prior to this round of suffering, I went through plenty of other sufferings too, like when my father committed suicide, or when my mother drunkenly fell down the stairs to her death, or when I was molested at 12 by a man thirty plus years my age, or when I was bullied throughout most of my grammar school years, or when I lost my business, my home, and an incredible amount of money along with it, and so on and so forth.
So yes, I’ve had my share of suffering in this life and have often asked why an unconditionally loving God would allow me to go through so much of it. Because honestly, in the midst of all these sufferings, life has generally sucked. But through each of them, I always seem to draw much closer to God, which in turn has led me to much greater spiritual growth.
So, why do I think God allows suffering? Well, while one of my friends has said it’s because God is a sadist and gets off on seeing people suffer, I choose to believe that God knows the person I’m going to become on the other side of my suffering is a much better version of myself. And maybe, just maybe, it’s also because I actually planned it for myself prior to ever coming into this life, knowing it was precisely what I needed to go through, to become the brighter, higher vibrational soul I absolutely wish to become.
And consider this as well. If God prevented all of our suffering, would we ever become grateful for what we have, given that our ego would never go through any pain? And for that matter, would we even have any desire at that point to seek something Greater than ourselves to guide our lives, because wouldn’t our ego’s be just fine in guiding ourselves?
I think those are definitely some better questions to consider, rather than why does God allow suffering. Because suffering is something that really has made me become a person I like, and one that others like too, which is a far cry from who I used to be before all this suffering began, as then hardly anyone really liked me the more they got to know me, including even myself…
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson
