Silly Joke Friday

Silly Joke #1

“Class, there are two words I don’t allow in here. One is ‘gross’ and the other is ‘cool'” said the 1st grade teacher to her new class for the school year. There was then a very noticeable silence with all the kids looking at each other when suddenly little Johnny raised his hand and said “Well, are you at least going to tell us what the gross word is and what the cool word is so we don’t ever say them?!”

Silly Joke #2

An elderly couple was driving across the country. The woman was driving when she got pulled over by the highway patrol. The officer said, “Ma’am did you know you were speeding?” The woman, hard of hearing, turns to her husband and asks, “What did he say?” The old man yells, “He says you were speeding!” The patrolman says, “May I see your license?” The woman turns to her husband and asks again, “What did he say?” The old man yells again, “He wants to see your license!” The woman gave the officer her license. The patrolman says, “I see you are from Arkansas. I spent some time there once and went on this blind date with the most annoying woman ever. Man, I don’t think I’ll ever forget her!” The woman turned to her husband again and asks, “What did he say?” And the old man yells once more, “He said he knows you!!!”

Silly Joke #3

A woman walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. She says she’s going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer tells her that the bank will need some kind of security for such a loan, so the woman hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce that’s parked on the street in front of the bank. Everything checks out, and the bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. An employee drives the Rolls Royce into the bank’s underground garage and parks it there. Two weeks later, the woman returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41. The loan officer approaches her and says, “We are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction seems to have worked out very nicely for you, but we’re a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked out your accounts and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is why would you bother to borrow $5,000?” The woman responded, “Well, where else in Manhattan can I park my car safely for two weeks and for only fifteen bucks?!”

Bonus Silly Joke

A store manager overheard a clerk saying to a customer, “No, ma’am, we haven’t had any for some weeks now, and it doesn’t look as if we’ll be getting any soon.”  Alarmed, the manager rushed over to the customer who was walking out the door and said, “That isn’t true, ma’am. Of course, we’ll have some soon. In fact, we placed an order for it a couple of weeks ago.” The customer gave him a really puzzled look and then walked away. The manager then drew the clerk aside and growled, “Never, never, never, never say we don’t have something! If we don’t have it, say we ordered it and it’s on its way! Now, what was it she wanted?” The clerk answered, “Snow.”

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Thought For The Day

Quote #1

“To offer a person unsolicited advice is to presume that they don’t know what to do or that they can’t do it on their own.” (John Gray)

Quote #2

“Unsolicited advice is usually more about the needs of the giver than the receiver and is always self-serving in some way.” (Unknown)

Quote #3

“People who are know-it-all’s, and dish out unsolicited advice and opinions, are the same ones who follow none of their own advice and practice nothing of what they preach.” (Unknown)

Bonus Quote

“Don’t listen to people who tell you what to do. Listen to people who encourage you to do what you know in your heart is right.” (Unknown)

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Daily Reflection

“There is a time to provide advice and offering an opinion, and there is a time not to. Don’t be too quick to offer unsolicited advice. It certainly will not endear you to people.” (Harvey Mackay)

A friend of mine recently made some general comments that I felt were somewhat judgmental of me. When I told them so, they said that wasn’t their intention and that their comments were merely an observation. While the two of us have since worked this out, I wanted to express at least in writing, that in my book, all observations made without asking are no different than making judgments, as they’re nothing more than offering unsolicited advice and opinions.

Lately, it seems as if our country has a lot of unsolicited advice and opinions going around, which is causing a tremendous amount of conflict amongst each other, including between friends and loved ones. There are far too many hot topics out there now that seem to regularly provoke these “observations” being made and I’ve become quite sensitive to it all. Maybe that’s why I find myself keeping more to myself and maintaining a small circle of friends because honestly, the last thing I need in my life right now is another unsolicited opinion or any advice that makes me feel less than.

Constantly feeling less than was something I regularly felt as a kid due to having unhealthy parents who were mentally imbalanced alcoholics. I’ve worked pretty hard in recent years to shed that part of my past and any people from my life who seem to regularly cite out negative observations of me versus positive ones. With the past nine years of my life having been as difficult as they’ve been because of my health, what I truly desire these days is to be uplifted by others instead of having my flaws and shortcomings pointed out or telling me what one thinks I still need to work on.

Unfortunately, many people seem to thrive on offering their observations of others. Why? Because it’s a great way to shift the focus off of themselves. I’ve been guilty of this myself specifically when it comes to my partner. Many times, I’ve fallen prey to making observations of his overeating issues, where each have led to nothing more than arguments, negativity, and most definitely him feeling less than. That’s because each of my “observations” have never been asked for and instead were more about pleasing my ego than being a truly loving and supportive partner. I’m convinced that at the core of this behavior is nothing more than some deep-seated insecurities that my ego doesn’t want me to face, so it instead looks to shift that focus off of myself by making my negative “observations” of others like my partner.

The bottom line is that making an observation of another is really the same as making a judgment, offering an opinion or giving advice, and doing any of these without being asked often tends to lead to conflict. So, maybe a better solution might be to start praising and uplifting each other’s positive qualities, as maybe then we’ll start seeing ourselves and everyone else in a much brighter light.

Dear God, I know I’ve been prone to offering my observations of another without being asked. I can see how doing so is nothing more than making a judgment and offering unsolicited advice and opinions. Please help me become more mindful of that and instead be more apt to offer uplifting words and encouragement, something I think all of us on this planet need a lot more of right now in life…

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson