“I believe in the sun, even when it is not shining. I believe in love, even when not feeling it. I believe in God, even when He is silent.” (Written anonymously on the wall of a cellar by a Jewish individual in the Cologne concentration camp during World War 2)
When I saw today’s quote sitting framed on a bathroom countertop at a church I had just attended an AA meeting at recently, I was really moved by it. Learning later that it was actually written anonymously by a Jewish individual imprisoned in a concentration camp during World War 2 moved me even more. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to fathom the depths of darkness and despair all those that were placed in concentration camps like this person must have felt on a daily basis. What I can relate to though is knowing my own form of darkness and despair that has come my way via my health many years ago and plagued me incredibly ever since, especially the last few years.
Like this Jewish prisoner so eloquently put, I have struggled these last few years to feel the sun shining warmly and favorably upon me. I have struggled even greater with feeling unconditional love for others and even myself. But I have struggled the most with feeling that God is still there for me, as its most definitely felt like He’s been on full radio silence with me. Yet, in each of these cases, I know the sun still shines on me, that I’m still a deeply loving person, and that God hasn’t abandoned me and still has a beautiful plan for me. How do I know this?
Faith is something I’ve come to know a lot more about this year more than any other year of my life. Even through massive days where I have felt nothing but that dark night of the soul, my faith has kept the image of the sun shining alive within my heart. It’s also kept the love I have for others and myself from evaporating from within me as well. But what my faith has done the most, has kept me believing that God is still with me, protecting me, and guiding me, even when I don’t feel I can see or hear Him anymore.
While I may not ever experience the depths of darkness and despair that this Jewish prisoner once felt in that concentration camp during World War 2 and yet still kept believing in the sun, love, and God through it all, I can say I’m experiencing my own form of it and that my faith is the only thing that’s kept me going and kept me believing, even when my mind told me long ago to stop.
Dear God, thank you for helping me to continue believing in You, even when it really feels as if you are on complete radio silence. I know it’s my faith in You that has helped me to keep going and to say without hesitation, that I believe the sun will shine again favorably upon me one day and love will pour forth once more profusely from my heart.
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson