Silly Joke Friday

Silly Joke #1

The chief of staff of the US Air Force decided that he would personally intervene in the recruiting crisis affecting all of our armed services. So, he directed that a nearby Air Force base be opened and that all eligible young men and women be invited. As he and his staff were standing near a brand new F-15 Fighter, two back woods country brothers who looked like they had just stepped off a Marine Corps recruiting poster walked up to them. The chief of staff stuck out his hand and introduced himself. He looked at the first young man and asked, “Son, what skills can you bring to the Air Force?” The young man looks at him and says, “I’m a pilot!” The general gets all excited, turns to his aide and says, “Get him in today, all the paper work done, everything, do it!” The aide hustles the young man off. The general looks at the second young man and asked, “What skills to you bring to the Air Force?” The young man says, “I chop wood!” “Son,” the general replies, “we don’t need wood choppers in the Air Force, what else do you know how to do?” “I chop wood!” “Young man,” huffs the general, “you are not listening to me, we don’t need wood choppers, this is the 21st century!” “Well,” the young man says, “you hired my brother!” “Yes, of course we did,” says the general, “he’s a pilot!” The young man says, “But, I have to chop it before he can pile it!”

Silly Joke #2

In a crowded city at a busy bus stop, a woman who was waiting for a bus was wearing a tight leather skirt. As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step of the bus. Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver, she reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little, thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise her leg. Again, she tried to make the step only to discover she still couldn’t. So, a little more embarrassed, she once again reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little more. For the second time, attempted the step, and, once again, and much to her chagrin, she could not raise her leg. With a little smile to the driver, she again reached behind to unzip a little more and again was unable to make the step. About this time, a large Texan who was standing behind her picked her up easily by the waist and placed her gently on the step of the bus.She went ballistic and turned to the would-be Samaritan and screeched, “How dare you touch my body! I don’t even know who you are!’ The Texan smiled and drawled, “Well, ma’am, normally I would agree with you, but after you unzipped my fly three times, I kind of figured we was friends…”

Silly Joke #3

A little old lady went to the grocery store and put the most expensive cat food in her basket. She then went to the check-out counter where she told the check-out girl, “Nothing but the best for my little kitten.”The girl at the cash register said, “I’m sorry, but we have a new policy. We are unable to sell you cat food without proof that you have a cat. A lot of old people buy cat food to eat, and the management wants proof that you are buying the cat food for your cat.” The little old lady went home, picked up her cat and brought it back to the store. They sold her the cat food. The next day, the old lady went to the store and bought twelve of the most expensive dog cookies. The cashier this time demanded proof that she now had a dog, claiming that old people sometimes also eat dog food. Frustrated she went home, came back and brought in her dog. She was then given the dog cookies. The next day she brought in a box with a hole in the lid. The little old lady asked the cashier to stick her finger in the hole. The cashier said, “No, you might have a snake in there.” The little old lady assured her that there was nothing in the box that would bite her. So, the cashier put her finger into the box and pulled it out and told the little old lady, “Yuck, my finger now smells like crap!” The little old lady grinned from ear to ear, “Hopefully that’s enough proof to buy three rolls of toilet paper today!”

Bonus Silly Joke

A man and his wife return home from a pleasant evening out. Hoping to score some action that night, he quickly slips down to the kitchen while she is getting ready for bed. He returns a few moments later with a glass of water, and a few pills, which he hands to her.”What’s this for?” she asks, rather puzzled. “It’s aspirin for your headache.” he said. “But I haven’t got a headache…” she responded a little puzzled. “Aha!! Gotcha!!! No excuses this time!” he said with a grin.

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Thought For The Day

Quote #1

“Death is not extinguishing the light; it is only putting out the lamp because the dawn has come.” (Rabindranath Tagore)

Quote #2

“Death is a challenge…It tells us to tell each other right now that we love each other.” (Leo Buscaglia)

Quote #3

“I’ve told my children that when I die, to release balloons in the sky to celebrate that I graduated. For me, death is a graduation.” (Elisabeth Kubler-Ross)

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Grief, Anger, And Dealing With Yet Another Tragic Loss From Overdose…

With drug addiction claiming yet another good friend from my life this past week, I have to admit, I’m angry. Having now lost over a dozen friends from my life to this disease and knowing there’s not a dam thing I can do about it beyond what I’m already doing, is precisely the reason why I’m so angry.

When I received a text about two weeks ago that one of my close friends from recovery had overdosed and was now on life support at the hospital, it was almost as if I was in a complete state of numbness to it. Of course, I did my best to muster as much faith as I could, and as much hope as I could, that he would come back. Yet, in the back of my mind, I knew the statistics and how none of those I’ve ever known who ended up on life support have ever come back.

As I sat in the hospital staring at the machines in silence while dozens of family members and loved ones did their best to keep it together with red-soaked eyes, I struggled to remain hopeful. Hopeful to a disease that seems to have become far more powerful than God these days. Ten days later, when I received a text message that my friend had passed, even after I had prayed every day for it not to happen this time, I didn’t exactly react. In fact, I think I just felt numb.

Drug addiction related deaths have become such a regular occurrence in my life now, that I don’t even get the chance to grieve one person’s passing from it before the next one hits my front door. Frankly, it sucks. For as much as I pray on a regular basis nowadays for God to help those struggling with addiction, especially drug addiction, it sometimes feels as if my prayers don’t matter.

I’m sure you can tell in my words that I’m grieving, and if anything, I guess I’m in that stage of grief that’s anger-based. Why shouldn’t I be? My friend was only 56 years old and other than the drug addiction that plagued his life over the past year or so, he was quite healthy. Yet all the healthiness in the world goes out the door once any recreational drug starts getting inserted into it.

You know what’s the hardest thing to watch when a person succumbs to drug addiction, or any other addiction for that matter? Their will to live. Having watched that with both of my parents and too many friends throughout my life, I truly wish there was more I could do to prevent it from happening.

I’ve sat in meeting after meeting sharing my own journey to recovery from addiction with countless people struggling from it listening. I’ve given my phone number out thousands of times to suffering individuals as well. I’ve truly done my best to insert hope into a hopeless situation, but rarely does any of my actions seem to make a difference these days.

I am thankful though for the rare times my experience, strength, and hope with addiction do seem to connect with someone, as there have been a few diamonds in the rough. And that’s what I know I must continue to focus on, even as the face of darkness continues to show its ugly head when it plucks another loved one from my life due to drug addiction.

Sadly, it’s those of us who are left behind when another soul dies from drug addiction that end up suffering the most. We have to learn how to live on with the pain of their loss and figure out how to let go of all the bitterness and anger we often feel towards the drugs themselves, towards those that introduced the drugs to our loved ones, and sometimes even to God for not preventing it from happening.

Unfortunately, there’s free will, which often seems to trump God’s will when it comes to drug addiction. And that’s why it’s so hard to keep the hope alive every time I deal with another loss from this disease.

So, as I continue to grieve and work through the pain of healing from yet another terrible loss from drug addiction, I plan to continue doing my best to keep spreading my experience, strength, and hope, all while remaining grateful for when my message of recovery does end up saving even one soul…

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson