Silly Joke Friday

Silly Joke #1

Seeing her friend Marcia wearing a new locket, Ashley asks if there is a memento of some sort inside. “Yes,” says Marcia, “a lock of my husband’s hair.” “But Larry’s still alive?”, Ashley said not understanding. “I know, but all his hair is gone!”, Marcia said sadly.

Silly Joke #2

A woman came home early from work one day and found her husband in bed with a young and attractive woman. The woman yelled at her husband in anger: “You slimy disrespectful pig! How dare you do this to me!? I’m the mother of your children, and I’ve been faithful to you all these years! I want a divorce now!” The husband answered, “Wait a second my love, let me at least explain what happened.” “All right, let’s hear what you have to say for yourself,” answered the wife waiting to see just how her husband would try to talk his way out of this one, “but these are your last words!” Her husband started recalling, “Today when I left work and got in my car to head home and this woman asked me for a ride. I noticed that she was very skinny and wearing worn out clothes covered in muck and mud. She told me she hadn’t eaten in three days. She looked worse for wear so I took pity on her and let her into the car. In my mercy for her, instead of taking her straight to where she needed to go, I brought her home first and warmed her up a plate of goulash, the same plate I made for you last night which you didn’t eat claiming you’d ‘get fat’. She devoured it in seconds. Since she needed to get clean, I offered to let her use our shower. While she showered, I noticed that her clothes were very dirty and worn, so I threw them out. She needed new clothes so I brought her the old jeans you no longer wear because they’re ‘too tight’. I also gave her some underwear I bought you that you didn’t wear because ‘I don’t have good taste in clothes’. I found the shirt my mom bought you for Christmas that you didn’t wear to ‘piss her off’. And I gave her the high heels you only wore once because ‘someone at work had the same pair’.” The husband took a deep breath and then continued… “She was so grateful for my understanding and help. When I walked her to the door she turned around with tears in her eyes and asked… ‘You’re such a great person! Is there anything else your wife doesn’t use?’”

Silly Joke #3

The devil meets him at the gate and says, “Alright, you have died and come to hell. You will spend eternity here, but you get to choose how to spend it. You may choose one of these three doorways. Once you choose a door, you may not change it. So let’s get started.” The devil opens Door One. The guy looks in and sees a couple of people standing on their heads on a Concrete floor. The guy says, “No way, let’s move on.” The devil opens Door Two. The guy sees a few more people standing on their heads on a Wood floor. The guy says, “No way, let’s move on.” The devil opens Door Three. The guy sees a bunch of people standing knee-deep in cow manure drinking coffee. The guy says, “Great, this is the one I will chose.” The devil says, “OK, wait right here, I will get you some coffee.” The guy settles in with his coffee thinking that this isn’t so bad. What’s the big deal? After about 10 minutes a voice comes over the loud speaker saying, “Coffee break’s over. Back on your heads!”

Bonus Silly Joke

A fisherman carrying a lobster bumped into a friend on the way home. “Where are you going with the lobster under your arm?” asked his friend. The fisherman answered, “I’m taking him home to dinner. Just then the lobster spoke up, “I’ve already had my dinner, can we go to a movie instead?”

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Thought For The Day

Quote #1

“Our life’s path is revealed to us by spiritual guideposts. They mark the way and lead us to our soul’s ultimate purpose.” (Randi G. Fine)

Quote #2

“The spiritual journey is individual, highly personal. It can’t be organized or regulated. It isn’t true that everyone should follow one path. Listen to your own truth.” (Ram Dass)

Quote #3

“Some beautiful paths can’t be discovered without getting lost.” (Erol Ozan)

Bonus Quote

“Your life is your spiritual path. It’s what right in front of you. You can’t live anyone else’s life. The task is to live yours and stop trying to copy one you think looks better.” (Sandy Nathan)

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Daily Reflection

“The path to our destination is not always a straight one. We go down the wrong road, we get lost, we turn back. Maybe it doesn’t matter which road we embark on. Maybe what matters is that we embark.” (Barbara Hall)

I used to hike a lot, back before all my health issues became my everyday norm and when I did, I often liked doing it alone. With just me and God in nature, it was usually the perfect combination to helping me feel a lot better and generally more connected to Source. Whether it was hiking in parks, mountains, or on beaches, I simply enjoyed exploring. Sometimes in those nature-filled explorations, I’d veer off the main trails I was on and follow less marked ones mostly in the hopes of seeing something unique and special that most others wouldn’t. Typically, those deviations never amounted to much of anything other than hitting a dead-end or getting lost for a short period of time. But, as soon as I found my way back onto those main trails, I’d eventually get to see the special clearings and views that everyone else got to see as well. Recently, I found myself pondering all this and realized how much my hiking is quite symbolic to my life in general.

You see throughout my life, I’ve most definitely have wandered off the path I was meant to be from time to time, sometimes for longer periods than others, all in the hopes of discovering something better or something easier or something just different from all that mundaneness that life was bringing me. Sadly, the majority of those alternate paths I chose frequently landed me in addictions, toxic relationships, disappointing jobs, poor health and worse. And with each, I’d consistently see the Higher Path, my original path, was the best path all along and so I’d trudge my way back onto it with new lessons learned.

The fact remains, there are a lot of paths out there that may seem far more alluring and attractive than the one we’re on. But even if the majority of those other paths lead us into nothing more than greater pain and hardship, there’s Something that’s constantly there to guide us back onto the one that’s for our Highest Good.

While it’s true I probably won’t stay on my Highest Path 100% for the rest of my life and will most likely get lost on a few side trails from time to time looking for greater excitement or another easier, softer way, I’m just glad to know I can ALWAYS call on God to make my way back onto the path I’m meant to be on, because in the end, God ALWAYS has shown me the way.

Dear God, I know I’m not unique in that I tend to stray off the path I’m meant to be on from time to time. Please don’t ever let me remain lost for too long and thank you for the help I know you will forever freely give me to find my way back into Your arms.

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson