Question For The Day

Today’s question is…

What is the quickest way a close friendship with another could end for you, if they did “fill in the blank“?

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson


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Another Taste Of My Own Former Medicine…

The longer I remain clean and sober and doing my best to live out a life of healthy recovery, the more I seem to get a taste of my own former medicine by being on the receiving end of behaviors I once did with regularity to others that ended up hurting them. One such behavior was pushing my close friends aside for my sexual interests and romantic pursuits.

If there’s one thing I did quite hurtfully far too often during my addiction years, it was to draw friends in really close, showing them they matter, developing a heart connection with them, only to abandon them altogether or drastically pull back from them once any sexual interest or romantic pursuit came along. Most frustratingly, I’ve been on the receiving end of this in recent years.

I’m thankful it happened to me though, so that I truly know how it felt to those I did the same behavior to, but far worse, years ago. I almost lost my best friend Cedric to this very pattern, always placing him second to every one of my sexual interests and romantic pursuits. I did the very same thing to another close friend Dexter, constantly leaving him regularly feeling like he was chasing after a carrot on a stick, watching it get pulled back time and time again. And you know what, sadly and regrettably, my behavior wasn’t too far off from that, yet I never once stopped to think about how he or Cedric might have felt each time I did this. Instead, I selfishly assumed they understood because in my mind, sexual interests and romantic pursuits were paramount to all other interests, including developing deeper friendships.

In fact, I was so selfish and self-centered back then, consumed with my own needs, wants, and desires, that I lost sight over and over again of what was far more important, that being to nurture my friends loving hearts who were there for me long before those sexual interests and romantic pursuits ever came around. And even worse, I always expected those friends to still be there for me each time those sexual interests and romantic pursuits didn’t work out or were in some type of jeopardy.

Being on the receiving end of another one of my old addictive patterns of behavior has helped me to see this is the very thing I did to so many others like Cedric and Dexter. It’s also made me think of a number of others I did it to as well like my sister Laura, my friends Marvin, Louie, Debbie, Scott, and also, Randy, a friend I once loved dearly who eventually left my life because of this very behavior.

While I’ve worked hard to do a living amends for this by investing more time and energy into the connections that remain in my life these days, I think it’s important the Universe has allowed me to be on the receiving end of this, to specifically feel the pain that comes from this type of selfish addictive behavior. Sometimes I think we all experience a taste of our own medicine from time to time to spiritually grow out of selfish behaviors and into more selfless ones. And this one is proving to be no different.

I truly am sorry to Laura, Cedric, Dexter, Marvin, Louie, Debbie, Scott, Randy, and so many others who deserved far better than they received from me each time I allowed my sexual interests and romantic pursuits to be a higher priority than them. They deserved better which is why I continue to do my best to showing the world today that friendships matter to me deeply, and should never be placed on the back burner for sexual interests and romantic pursuits. Because in the end, what I’ve really learned in my recovery from sex and love addiction is that friendships tend to last far longer than any sexual interests and romantic pursuits ever do…

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Silly Joke Friday

Silly Joke #1

Two lawyers were in a coffee shop talking. One of the lawyers names was Thomas Strange. After a while their conversation became rather morbid, and they started to started to talk about what they were going to have on their tomb stones. Thomas said the he wasn’t going to have his name put on his tomb stone, instead he was going have “Here lies the body of an honest lawyer!!!” “Why are you going to have that?” asked his friend. “Well”, said Thomas, “When people are walking through the cemetery, and they see…”Here lies the body of an honest lawyer” they will say “Oh…that’s Strange”.

Silly Joke #2

A cowboy, who just moved to Wyoming from Texas, walks into a bar and orders three mugs of Bud. He sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more. The bartender approaches and tells the cowboy, “You know, a mug goes flat after I draw it. It would taste better if you bought one at a time.” The cowboy replies, “Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in Arizona , the other is in Colorado . When we all left our home in Texas , we promised that we’d drink this way to remember the days when we drank together. So I’m drinking one beer for each of my brothers and one for myself.” The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there. The cowboy becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way. He orders three mugs and drinks them in turn. One day, he comes in and only orders two mugs. All the regulars take notice and fall silent. When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, “I don’t want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your loss.” The cowboy looks quite puzzled for a moment, then a light dawns in his eyes and he laughs. “Oh, no, everybody’s just fine,” he explains, “It’s just that my wife and I joined the Morman Church and I had to quit drinking.” “Hasn’t affected my brothers though.” 

Silly Joke #3

Sometimes women can be overly suspicious of their husbands like when Adam stayed out very late for a few nights, Eve became upset. “You’re running around with other women,” she charged. “You’re being unreasonable,” Adam responded. “You’re the only woman on earth!”  The quarrel continued until Adam fell asleep, only to be awakened by someone poking him in the chest. It was Eve.  “What do you think you’re doing?!” Adam demanded. “Counting your ribs!” said Eve.

Bonus Silly Joke (4 quick ones)

It’s been raining for days now and my husband seems very depressed by it…He keeps standing by the window, staring. If it continues, I’m going to have to let him in!

You know, it seems like one minute you’re young and fun…and the next minute you’re turning down the stereo in the car so you can see better!

This past Christmas, I told my girlfriend for months in advance, Baby, all I want from you this year is an Xbox. Thats it. Beginning and end of list: Xbox. You know what she got me? A homemade frame with a picture of us from our first date together. Which was fine — because I got her an Xbox.

Silence is golden…
Unless you have children…
If that is the case, silence is suspicious.

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson