Two weekends ago, my partner and I, along with a few friends, were sitting on a couch at a Mardi Gras party having a great time when a woman sat down near us and abruptly asked if any of us were watching the television coverage of the Democratic conventions. Two nodded their heads. She then asked if we all were backing candidate Pete Buttigieg because he’s gay, as she knew we were all gay individuals. Immediately, I could feel where the conversation was going to head, as I’d been down this path one too many times in my life with others, especially when politics or religion was the topic of conversation.
As I looked over at the woman and read her body language, it was pretty clear judgements were forming within her. When one of my friends responded that he liked Buttigieg simply because he seemed like a good candidate, she quickly exclaimed, “That’s exactly the problem with you Democrats, none of you have any valid reasons you can offer as to why you are for any of the candidates!” Instantly, all the positive energy and enjoyment of the party went away for us, causing each of us to get up one by one and leave the situation and shortly thereafter, the party as well.
It’s sad when people in society, like this woman, think the answer to their problems or our country’s problems is with someone or something “out there” like the president. For as long as they choose to believe that, judgments will continue to form within them with everyone else who doesn’t buy into their beliefs. Divisions will in turn continue to be made along the way between them and those who don’t agree with them, and society overall continues to drift apart as more and more people take their sides on issues.
The same negative principle holds true with Christians who continue to believe they are the only true path to God, who place judgments on other religions and the people who follow them, while the people who follow those other religions in turn do the same with them. It’s true with whites who feel superior over blacks and other races, and the other races who feel that whites are the problem. It’s true with pro-lifers who feel abortion is wrong and pro-abortion individuals who feel it’s their choice to make. It’s true with pro-second amendment advocates who feel the right to bear arms and pro-gun-control supporters who feel the need for laws banning guns. And it’s true with all the other hot issues too, such as health care, the environment, immigration, marriage, welfare, etc. Whatever the issue, judgments are constantly being hurled at those who have opposing views from them, with each feeling their viewpoint is the correct one. So, how does this ever end? How does it ever get better? The sad reality is it doesn’t, so long as people continue to judge one another for the stances each take on those various issues in life.
People seem to think that if all of those issues got fixed in the way they imagined they should be fixed, that their life would be grand. What they don’t realize is that even if the person they wanted for president got elected, that even if everyone suddenly started supporting their belief system, and even if all the laws somehow got changed to support every single one of their views, they still wouldn’t be happy and instead, would find something else to judge. Why? Because happiness doesn’t come externally, it comes internally, from letting go of the past, from forgiveness and release of all resentments, and from loving oneself unconditionally, which, in turn, leads to loving everyone else unconditionally. And the more one is able to love unconditionally, the more the world becomes the one they find peace with. But, not working on any of those internal disturbances and keeping them pushed down, only leads to judging others with unloving comments like what that woman said to all of us at the party the other night. The fact is, hurt people continue to hurt people through their judgments, all because they keep on avoiding doing the work within to fix themselves.
I honestly just wish people would wake up and realize that the person they want for president isn’t going to make their world any better, because it’s not the world that’s broken, it’s they who are broken. And no matter how many people they may convince or pull onto their side of an issue, there’s always going to be someone else just beyond with a different opinion, causing them to get disturbed with judgments all over again.
Fix yourself, heal your inner wounds, love your inner child, and in doing so, you’ll help to fix the world, because the more your inner world is able to be at peace, the more you’ll be at peace with the outer world, even when it doesn’t quite align with your views.
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson