Silly Joke Friday

Silly Joke #1

-Do you want to hear a joke backwards?
-Very good, start laughing.

Silly Joke #2

Q:What should you do when you see a spaceman?
A:You just park in it, man.

Silly Joke #3

The kangaroo mother got incredibly itchy around her belly. She opened her pouch and yelled into it: “How often have I told you not to eat the crunchy cookies in bed!”

Silly Joke #4

What if we have it all wrong? What if dogs fetch the ball back only because they think you really like throwing it?

Silly Joke #5

-“Little Jonny, why did you put your teddy in the freezer?”
-“Cuz I’d really like to have a polar bear!”

Silly Joke #6

-In a boutique:
-“Could I try the dress in the shop window, please?”
-“I’m sorry madam but no. We have dressing rooms for that!”

Silly Joke #7

Q:Do you know what the toilet roll’s biggest complaint is?
A:That people just keep ripping it off!

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Silly Joke Friday

Silly Joke #1

The best things to say when your boss catches you asleep at your desk…

  • They told me at the blood bank this might happen.
  • I wasn’t sleeping, I was trying to pick up contact lens without hands.
  • I wasn’t sleeping, I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm.
  • Amen!
  • This is just a 15-minute power-nap like they raved about in the last time management course you sent me to.
  • I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work related stress.
  • This darn cold medicine I took last night just won’t wear off!
  • Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem!

Silly Joke #2

A helicopter was flying around above Seattle when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft’s electronic navigation and communications equipment.

Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter’s position. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, and held up a handwritten sign that said “WHERE AM I?” in large letters. People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign, and held it in a building window. Their sign said “YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER.”

The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map, determined the course to steer to SEATAC airport, and landed safely. After they were on the ground, the copilot asked the pilot how he had done it.

“I knew it had to be the Microsoft Building, because they gave me a technically correct but completely useless answer.”

Silly Joke #3

Q: How did the butcher introduce his wife?
A: Meet Patty.

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Silly Joke Friday

Silly Joke #1

A Chinese Doctor can’t find a job in a Hospital in the US, so he opens his own clinic and puts this sign outside:


An American lawyer thinks this is a great opportunity to earn $100 and goes to the clinic.

Lawyer: ‘I have lost my sense of taste.’

Chinese: ‘Nurse, bring medicine from box No. 22 and put 3 drops in patient’s mouth.’

Lawyer: ‘Ugh. this is kerosene.’

Chinese: ‘Congrats, your sense of taste is restored. Give me $20.’

The annoyed lawyer goes back after a few days to recover his money.

Lawyer: ‘I have lost my memory. I cannot remember anything.’

Chinese: ‘Nurse, bring medicine from box no. 22 and put 3 drops in his mouth.’

Lawyer (annoyed): ‘This is kerosene. You gave this to me last time for restoring my taste.’

Chinese: ‘Congrats. You got your memory back. Give me $20.’

The fuming lawyer pays him, and then comes back a week later determined to get back $100.

Lawyer: ‘My eyesight has become very weak I can’t see at all.’

Chinese: ‘Well, I don’t have any medicine for that, so take this $100.’

Lawyer (staring at the note): ‘But this is $20, not $100!!’

Chinese: ‘Congrats, your eyesight is restored. Give me $20’

Silly Joke #2

Two children were in a doctor’s waiting room. The little girl was softly sobbing.

“Why are you crying?” asked the little boy.

“I’m here for a blood test, and they’re going to cut my finger,” said the girl.

When he heard this, the little boy started to cry.

“Why are you crying?” asked the girl.

The boy looked at her worriedly and said, “I’m here for a urine test.”

Silly Joke #3

A man goes to the doctor with a piece of lettuce dangling from his rectum.

“That looks nasty,” says the doctor.

“Nasty?” the man says. “That’s just the tip of the iceberg.”

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson