A Facebook Message From God To Remind Me I Matter

Over the past few years I’ve often found myself questioning if I really matter in this world. In fact, I even wrote an article on this very subject about a year ago. Ironically, God reminded me just over a week ago that I most certainly do and it came in the most interesting way.

It all started early on a Sunday morning when I awoke feeling extremely blue and riddled with my usual bouts of pain. As I tried to roll out of bed, I looked outside and noticed the sky was gray and some light snow was falling. The gloomy weather only seemed to intensify my despair and make it all the more challenging to get up and move forward with yet another day of trials and tribulations. By the time I finally pulled myself together and finished my morning spiritual routines, it was well into the early afternoon. After having a quick bite to eat, I logged onto Facebook and saw my partner had posted on his page one of our vacation pictures that I had already posted a few days earlier on my own page. It was a beautiful scene that looked out upon the ocean from our balcony and had well over 100 likes from his 300 or so Facebook friends. Meanwhile I glanced over on my page and saw how I had only a handful, even with the 800+ people I’m connected to. Shortly thereafter, I also became aware that one of my friend requests to someone I used to be very close to had been denied and I was now blocked from sending them another one. And just like that, I totally fell apart and began oozing self-pity from every pore.

I started yelling in my house quite loudly at God, at myself, and sadly, even at my partner, asking if I “f$$$king even matter to anyone on this planet”. During all those anger-filled moments I thought about the 1000+ articles I’ve written in this blog and how hardly anyone ever seems to read or comment on them. I thought about how my phone rarely rings with anyone asking me how I’m doing or wondering if I had any free time to get together. I thought about the number of people who have unfriended me on Facebook over the past year without any explanation. I thought about how I’m still not considered to be part of my partner’s family, even after 4 years of being in this relationship. I thought about the longevity of my pain and how my prayers for relief continue to go unanswered. Truth be told, I pretty much thought about everything during those moments that only enhanced my belief that I don’t matter.

Thirty minutes later I found myself at my AA home group talking to a woman who is a relatively new friend of mine and part of my recovery support network. I told her how I ultimately felt like I could disappear and that no one would probably care. She offered her comfort, of which I was thankful for, but unfortunately it didn’t take the feeling away of not mattering. But then, as the meeting was about to begin, I took one last look at my phone and noticed I had received the following Facebook message from someone I hadn’t spoken with for at least a year or two.

“Things aren’t going very well for me anymore but your positive posts give me hope that I’ll get through and conquer the challenges that are turning my life upside down. Your ability to draw strength in yourself is infectious and you should know that you matter so much.” 

As I read his words, tears filled my eyes and I realized that something greater than myself must be watching over me. Something greater than myself must have motivated my friend to send this message at the precise time he did. Because at least in that brief moment, when I read my friend’s message, I felt God crying along with me. And it was then I felt all my anger from the day melt away.

So while I may not know why God continues to allow me to go through so much hardship inside this body day in and day out, I’m overly grateful I can at least say there’s definitely something greater than myself out there who knows what I need, when I most need it. And in this case, it came in the form of a Facebook message to remind me I really do matter…

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson

Andy and The Zodiac Crystal – Chapter 30

Q: Why didn’t the teddy bear ask for seconds?
A: Because he was already stuffed!

Link to PDF of all previous chapters -> Andy and The Zodiac Crystal (Chapters 1 to 29)

Andy and The Zodiac Crystal – Chapter 30

I was definitely disturbed with the story I had just heard from Delilah and I really wanted to ask some more questions about it, but I knew I needed to return as soon as possible to wherever Chris and our fathers were. As I headed back in the direction from which I came, she thanked me for my help and wished me good luck, while I vaguely heard Vernon say something along the lines of “Good riddance.” I’m not sure he would know what gratitude was if it smacked him dead in the face I thought as I made my way back through the thick forest.

The thought of someone possessing a crystal equal in power to my own, but powered by dark forces seriously concerned me. But at the moment, I was feeling far more concerned about how I was going to explain my sudden disappearing act. Hopefully Chris had found some way to reassure our fathers, seeing how I had been gone for at least 30 minutes, maybe more.

It seemed to take far longer getting back to the hiking trail then the time it took to reach Delilah’s den. I guess the swift sprint I took there was much quicker than I had thought. By the time I found the actual spot where we had taken our last hiking break, there was no one there.

Where could they have gone?

I honestly didn’t know whether it was best to head back down the mountain, remain here, or hike to the top. If I were Chris, what would he have done after I vanished? Ugh, I have no idea! Wait, maybe I could find an animal nearby who could tell me where they went?

I looked around, including in the trees above me, but saw no one nearby to ask.

Crap!

In sheer frustration, I shouted out into the air, hoping someone might hear me…

“Does anyone know where my friend and our fathers are?!”

I felt kind of stupid after that. I mean who was going to hear me, other than possibly some other hikers, of which I saw none nearby.

“Hello there!” I heard a tiny voice come out of nowhere and looked around, but saw no one.

“Down here!” The voice said.

I looked down to see a tiny chipmunk looking straight up at me.

“You’re the one everyone in the woods is talking about! The one human being we can all talk to!”

It was rather funny listening to the chipmunk talk, because on some level it spoke like it was on mega doses of caffeine, rapidly speeding through its words.

“I’m not sure if that’s a good thing that everyone is talking about me my little friend, but yes, I guess that’s me.”

“You’re looking for the people you were hiking with right?”

“Yes, do you know where they went?”

“Sure, they headed further up the mountain, probably to the top.”

“Wow, that’s a huge relief to know. What’s your name anyway?”

“I’m Samuel, but you can call me Sam.”

“Well, I’m Andy, and as much as I’d like to stay and chat, I gotta run and find my hiking companions ok?”

“No problem, it was nice to meet you Andy, good luck!” I watched as he quickly scampered away and out of sight.

I knew it would take me too long to hike up to the top, especially given how tired I felt, but there was one way I could get there much faster. I knew I could use Capricorn to teleport myself to the top, but since I had never been there, how could I envision it in my head.

Could it be possible that this Zodiac sign might also work by just stating where I wanted to go?

It was worth a try at least. So after deactivating Sagittarius, I looked around to make sure no one was watching and then said the words.

“Buck Mountain Summit! Capricorn!” I said as I thought about Chris and our fathers wandering around the top of the mountain looking for me.

VAVOOM…

The vortex rapidly appeared and pulled me in. For a brief moment, I felt a little fearful where it was going to take me, but before I had a chance to really worry about it, it spit me out on top of the mountain. And there not more than 100 yards away were Chris and both of our Dads, who were all in the process of shouting my name at the top of their lungs.

“ANDYYYY!”

“ANNNNDYYY!”

Thankfully they had their backs turned to me and no one else seemed to be around either. I began to wonder if this sign also had a built-in ability to teleport me without being seen by anyone. I didn’t have much time to ponder the thought though as Chris had already turned around and seen me.

“THERE HE IS!!!”

They immediately all ran over to me and my Dad proceeded to give me a huge hug.

“What’s that for Dad?” 

“I thought you were dead!”

“I told you he was ok and probably just went exploring on his own.” said Chris, which actually was the truth.

“One second you were there, and the next you were gone. I thought that bear had taken you away.”

My Dad grabbed me and gave me another huge hug.

“Ok, ok, I’m fine Dad. And anyway, I’m too skinny for a bear to enjoy for a meal” I said with a chuckle.

“Just don’t do that again. We need to stick together in the mountains when hiking, as you never know what you’ll run into! By the way, did you actually chase after that bear?

“Yeah, it went running away and I was a little too curious to see where it went.”

“That wasn’t too bright son.” said Chris’s father.

I looked over at Chris and winked, knowing at least I was still telling the truth.

We spent about an hour at the top of the summit after that walking around, enjoying a lunch, and taking some pictures. I told Chris when I got the chance about everything that had happened, including the prophecy of the dark crystal. He told me not to worry about it and said it probably is just some fiction-based tale. I wasn’t so sure though, but I made the decision to let it go for now.

By the time we made it down the mountain, the sun was starting to set. I could tell we were all pretty exhausted because no one was saying much of anything. After a quick visit to the bathroom facility, we hopped in the car and were headed back to the cabin.

I kind of hoped that the rest of our weekend getaway was going to go a lot smoother. We still had another full day here in the Adirondacks and so far things had been totally stressful with learning a new Zodiac ability, dealing with Paul and Joe, as well as the whole encounter with Delilah, her trapped cub, and of course then there was that prophecy she warned me about.

The ride back seemed to take forever, probably because of how tired I was. On the way there, Chris and I agreed that the hot tub sounded like a great idea to soak our aching legs. When we finally pulled into the driveway, I was so ready to relax and do nothing more than simply enjoy those hot bubbling waters on the deck.

As I jumped out of the car and bounded up the stairs behind Chris, I suddenly felt a terrible sense of dread within and couldn’t quite shake the feeling that someone was watching me…

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson