A Mac’s Operating System Upgrade And My Resistance To Change

Do you struggle with change? Are you one of those who usually likes to keep things just as they are, especially when everything seems to be running just fine? I think most of us have struggled with this at various times in our lives, but the reality is that life is always changing around us and within us, and resistance to it often will make us feel incompatible with life. I had a great reminder of this recently with an upgrade to my computer’s operating system I kept pushing off.

In the Mac world, which is the type of computer I have, a brand-new version of operating system tends to come out in the beginning of each fall season. In the past, I generally never liked updating to any of these newer versions because I thought if things were running just fine why bother. And frequently, when I did do the upgrades, I sometimes ran into hiccups during the conversion, which made things far more frustrating for a period of time. But unfortunately, as technology continues to make leaps and bounds in advancements, software gets updated, which in turn creates incompatibilities if one doesn’t upgrade their operating system. I discovered this a few years back when I crossed my arms and refused to budge on updating my own through several iterations until one day I couldn’t do a function on my computer anymore that I always did. When I looked into it, I found out my system had become outdated and needed a total overhaul. But even in remembering that, I found myself repeating the same behavior again on a newer Mac I have now with the most recent release of Mac’s operating system that’s named “Sierra”. Why was I resisting this change again? Simply put, fear. In fact, resistance to change always relates to some type of fear, usually a fear of not knowing what life will be like on the other side of the change.

Nevertheless, I still felt a nudge for months on end to get this software upgrade done so I finally opted to call Apple support the other day to help alleviate some of my fears before attempting it. Ironically, when the customer service agent answered the phone and said, “Hi, my name is Sierra, how many I help you?”, I silently wondered if this was God having a sense of humor by giving me the one agent who had the same name as the operating system I was afraid to change to. Regardless, after a ten-minute call with her, I found the courage to begin the install and several hours later, the whole process was done, with only a few minor hiccups happening along the way. I felt a whole lot better, and my computer seemed to be running much faster, with a couple noticeable improvements.

Change is often a lot like this, isn’t it? We fight and fight and fight to resist it, fearing the worst, and frequently miss out on improvements to our lives that could come if we went through it. And in the process of resisting change, we become stagnant, indignant, negative, and on some level, incompatible with others. Eventually, it all catches up with us though, usually forcing us to go through it with a lot more difficulty down the way, as compared to how it would have been if we had gone through it much sooner. And no matter when we do go through some type of change, those hiccups do occur, often upsetting our egos who then try to convince us that change is never worth it. But when we choose to press through those hiccups and ignore our egos, the other side of change is generally far better than a life that resists change.

I guess that’s why I’m kind of grateful I’m more open to change nowadays than I ever used to be. Because things like my newly updated operating system that seems to be running much more smoothly now is but a small taste of what I feel God can update in our lives, if we merely remain open to change. Changes that God sees and knows we need to make in our lives that will lead to a far better life, one that runs more smoothly and more compatible with both the ever-changing world around us and within us…

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Facing Some Fears With Traveling And Trusting God Will Help Me Through Them…

I haven’t travelled anywhere overnight since I went on vacation to the Cayman Islands in the beginning of 2016, because frankly, it became too difficult for me due to my physical pain levels and the anxiety I had surrounding it. It wasn’t fun anymore to go on any trips so I made a vow at the end of that last vacation that I wouldn’t go away anywhere until I felt a lot better.

But that all changed a few months ago when my Spirit told me during a prayer and meditation session that I needed to go see my nephew Luke for his 5th birthday at the end of August. Seeing that I always do my best to follow any Higher Guidance I receive, I opted to heed this call and am actually flying out today to the Nashville, Tennessee area to go be with my family and celebrate with my nephew. While I’m excited to see him, as he really doesn’t know me given the last time he saw me was when he was under 2 years old, I’m also having to face a few fears going on this trip.

The first deals with the whole airport and flying thing, as standing for long periods in those security checkpoints and walking for long distances around the airport is never fun on my body at all. The last time I travelled, I had to get a wheelchair to deal with the pain, which was very humbling. But even more humbling was when the airline-agent questioned me about what my disability actually was when I asked for early boarding, because they didn’t see any real signs of one at first glance.

The second is due to the fact that my partner isn’t going with me on this trip, as he can’t get out of work. Although I used to go on many trips by myself in the past and totally enjoyed them, being by myself now without any in person support by someone who understands the pain I go through is difficult, especially because odd things often arise with my health that usually require the help of my partner to deal with them.

The third relates to the last time I visited my sister’s family, which was about three years ago now, as it didn’t go over so well, because back then was precisely when all this physical pain and mental anguish really began to get to me. That in turn led me to isolate more than not while there, spending most of my time on the phone getting support from my recovery circles instead of being present with them, and they just weren’t able to understand that.

And lastly, speaking of recovery, the final fear I have surrounding this trip relates to the past addictions I’m now sober from. As sad as it is to admit this, much of the reason why I used to love traveling so much alone is because I used to act out in addictive behaviors on most of those trips. So, I’m sure that my ego will try to convince me once again to do that, especially if I’m dealing with any type of high pain levels.

So that’s all the fears I’m facing at the present moment with this trip, but thankfully I have something much bigger than I to help me during it and that’s God! Because I believe it’s God who actually led me to go on this trip in the first place and in light of that, I know He’ll be present to help me overcome any of these fears if they should arise.

Nevertheless, I would like to also ask each of you to please pray for me to receive strength, peace, and joy during this trip, as I walk through each of my fears of traveling to be with my nephew Luke for his 5th birthday. And know as well, that as I place a few “Thought For The Day” entries about trusting in God these next few days in my blog, that it’s mostly to give me some encouragement, just in case I might need a little of that while I’m away! 🙂

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

My Sensitivity To Negativity And The Path To Positivity

I’m really sensitive to negativity these days and I truly struggle being around any person who’s overly negative in their life. I’m also quite sensitive to the abundance of negative energy going on in our country right now as well.

I know all of this sensitivity is related to the pain I go through on a daily basis, as I’ve come to accept that what I’m dealing with inside me is out of my control, yet when I see others expound a bunch of negativity who have much better health and life circumstances than I, it makes me seriously cringe for two reasons. The first is related to gratitude and the second is related to my health itself.

With the first, most people who regularly expel tons of negative energy don’t practice daily gratitude in their lives. Instead of seeing all the good they have to be thankful for, they choose to constantly comment on every single little thing they find wrong in the world. What makes me become so sensitive to this directly relates to the greater limitations my life brings as compared to theirs. Like when someone complains about how long the lines were at an amusement park they attended recently. What they don’t see is the gift of being able to walk around that park and ride those rides, when others like me are unable to do so. That’s why I work really hard to practice gratitude now because there are even those out there who would love to live a day in my shoes and perceive that which I have is far greater than them.

As for the second reason, the one that relates to my health, my physical pain always seems to increase exponentially every time I get around someone who’s spewing negativity out of their mouth. Like when my partner is driving down the road and starts complaining about one “bad” driver to the next, I find myself shifting uncomfortably in my seat as my physical pain drives upwards. And trust me, I’ve tried everything from taking control to letting go and praying, hoping each might prevent this unwanted and unneeded pain increase, all to no avail.

So yes, I’ve become very sensitive to negativity these days, which is precisely why I spend so much time alone now, as there at least I don’t have to be around it. And in turn, I choose to be positive as best as I can when I get around others, even in light of my current circumstances, looking for gratitude in the things I still have like my eyesight and hearing, or the food, water, and shelter I’ve been given, or my sobriety from addictions, because there are plenty of others in this world who are lacking in any one of them.

While I wasn’t always this way and was once the very type of person I would currently be so sensitive around, I’ve learned the only thing that stands in the way of remaining more positive than negative, no matter what my circumstances, is my ego. As it’s the ego that says the world must become more positive for me to become more positive, but the real truth is that I must become more positive the more I want to see the world become that way…

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson