During May to September, so many movies are released that cost millions and millions of dollars to make. They are usually filled with tons of special effects or are sequels that people have been waiting to see for a long time. “Summer Popcorn Flicks” is a nickname that is often given to any of them. But occasionally, a gem of a movie is released during these months that stands apart all on its own where it hasn’t operated off of a large budget, where its actors are either unknown or have taken pay cuts to be in it, where special effects don’t really matter, and where the storyline of the movie is really its only heart and soul. “The Way Way Back” is an example of such a movie that not only allowed me to really connect to the main focal point of the movie, which was about a shy and lonely boy named Duncan who was trying to find himself, it also helped me to remember my own journey to doing so.
In this movie, Duncan was a wallflower. He didn’t stand out as anything special to anyone around him. Most would probably label him as a nerd or a dork in their minds and no one was giving him the time of day. Everyone close to him was either generally ignoring him and focusing on their own selfish needs and wants or they were making fun of him in subtle ways. At the age of 14, Duncan was presented as this extremely withdrawn kid that ironically was no different than who I was at his age. Thankfully, he went on in the movie over the course of a few summer months to find redemption in his lonely life when both a pretty teenage neighbor girl and a cool manager of a water park took interest and showed him just how special he was in his own way. Unfortunately, it took me a lot longer in life to get there.
There are a lot of people out there who may never fit the “cool bill”. People often point and laugh at them, like they even did in this movie with not only Duncan, but also the kid next door who had a severely lazy eye. They get passed over in gym class when teams are being picked, they are excluded from many group activities, and when people are told to pair up with another person for some exercise, they are usually left by themselves only to be paired up with the adult who’s coordinating it. Like Duncan was, many of those kids find their only company is the music they listen to in their headphones, the walks or bike rides they take on their own, or the books they read, because at least in all those cases, no one is picking on them, putting them down, or outright ignoring them.
In the movie, Duncan’s redemption came at a water park where its manager believed in him so much that he gave him the ability to find himself by offering him a job there. Sadly, no one ever came into my life that gave me that chance and for years, I tried to find myself through being a chameleon or following what everyone else was doing just so I didn’t stand apart. While that prevented me from being picked on a lot less, it also impeded any progress to ever finding out who I really was inside.
Last summer, by the time I turned the age of 40, I had already made the decision it was time to stop following everyone else. It was then that I actually felt as if I stepped back in time to where I was still that innocent and nerdy 14 year old boy no different than Duncan. But instead of going down those paths that I did at a young age to fit in, I went back to those activities that once brought me great comfort such as listening to music, reading, and sitting on the beach alone. What’s funny is that in doing that, God has brought into my life a few people who like that shy and lonely nerdy boy that I’ve become again. What’s even better is that I’m ok with it now too.
“The Way, Way Back” movie was a great portrayal of an accelerated version of something that took me almost three decades to do. I connected with Duncan’s life so well as it reminded me of a time when I wished my family, or anyone for that matter, had paid attention to me. Today, I don’t seek that because it’s already there in the way it’s supposed to be. I’ve seen that in being myself, those that are meant to be in my life are there and really enjoy being with me, and those that passed me over for whatever reason, aren’t.
Today I’m finding that some of the most interesting people are those who are often overlooked by society. They usually have the most interesting and heartwarming stories to tell and also the greatest capacities for sharing love. Duncan is an example of one of those people and so am I. There was nothing ever wrong with Duncan or myself back at that young age even though we both stood apart from most everyone else. While it wasn’t a water park manager who helped me to figure that out, God did and because of that, I’ve been able to find “the way way back” to being myself again.
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson