Assumptions are often nothing more than judgments and unfortunately, I made a strong one of those just over a week ago that ended up being quite embarrassing for me because of it.
There’s a good restaurant not too far my home that my partner and I have dined at every now and then and each time we have, I’ve noticed a waiter who acted and talked in a way that I always assumed he was gay. So when two of our friends planned an evening to visit us where dinner was part of it, we decided on this restaurant. The embarrassment initially began when I called to make a reservation and attempted to request this specific waiter as our server. As I tried my best to describe him, I regrettably opted to be blunt and said it was the one who I thought was gay. I followed that up by letting the reservations person know that my party were two gay couples and that I was hoping to have this guy as our waiter since he was gay himself.
There was a long pause on the other end of the line after this and when they spoke, they said the person I was referring to is actually engaged and about to be married to a woman. I’m sure at that moment if I could have looked in the mirror, I would have seen my face turn two sheets of red.
Given that this is a local restaurant and this waiter has been there a long time, I was pretty sure the reservations person would end up telling him what I said, which is why I immediately knew I needed to make an amends. And I did just that, at the end of our meal, regardless of whether he had known about what I had said or not. Because the reality is that the assumption I made was a judgment and it went against all my spiritual principals in making it. Thankfully, he accepted my apology and said that people often mistook him.
Nevertheless, the whole situation was outright embarrassing, but in the end I’m actually grateful it happened. Because what my eyes perceive is not always the truth and any assumption I ever make is usually just another way of masking a deeper seated judgment, which for me is a trait that’s far from spiritual.
So I share this story for one reason and one reason only, as I reminder to myself to never assume anything. Hopefully I’ll remember that the next time I start thinking someone I’m observing is gay… 🙂
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson
u should have requested him by name and not mentioned anything about the “gay “thing..should have kept it legit..just a thought Andrew!!
Thanks Mike. I learned a lesson that’s for sure! 🙂
You are not alone when making an assumption. I too have made mistakes in the past. You did the right thing and that shows you have integrity, class and a whole lot of love in your heart for everyone.
Yes, I know. 🙂 Lesson learned. 🙂
Thanks for sharing. Everything in life is a learning experience.
Thanks Tim for your comments. 🙂