Have you ever had anyone in your life who said they were your friend, but usually only contacted you when they needed something? Or do all your friends regularly set quality time aside for you, that doesn’t seem to regularly revolve around a favor needed or a personal agenda?
I ask this only because I’ve been on the receiving side of this recently with a few individuals. There’s one who seems to call me every other week to ask either for a ride to work or money to borrow and another who seems to contact me whenever they’re getting ready for air travel and are looking for a ride to or from the airport. But in both cases, neither ever call me just to say hi and ask if I want to hang out.
What’s frustrating about having to experience this is the mirror I’m having to face because of it, as this is exactly what I use to do to plenty of those who considered me their friend. Case in point, I once had a buddy who would have done anything to be there for me. He was probably the most loyal person I’ve ever had in my life, yet I rarely made quality time for him unless I needed something. One time in fact, I asked him to help paint my place of living because I was so terrible at doing that, and after an hour or two watching him do the task, I left him at my place, went to a party, and didn’t invite him to go with me. Looking back, an even worse realization is the reality that if I had been able to paint, I most likely wouldn’t have even called him in the first place to hang out. Know that I’m on the receiving end of the very same type of behavior, I see how crappy it feels when the tables are turned.
Sometimes I sincerely wonder if that’s how the Universe operates, karma per se. Meaning, for all the selfish and self-centered actions we do in life, do they always come back around so that we end up being on the receiving side of them simply to know how it feels, all for the purpose of helping us to change our ways?
I don’t know the answer to that of course, but I can say I’m actually kind of grateful for having to experience this recently as much as I have. I see how terrible of a friend I was to some back then, never setting quality time aside with those who truly cared about me and loved me dearly. Instead, I constantly had some type of angle as to why I would contact them to hang out.
Thankfully I do the exact opposite these days. I make it a point now to set quality time aside with those I consider to be true friends, always doing my best to never revolve that time around me needing some type of favor. Because I don’t want to be a selfish friend anymore. I don’t want to use people who I say are a friend, for my own gain. I simply just want to be a person who sets personal time aside for his friends, solely to get to know them a little better.
So, if you happen to have someone in your life who you say is your friend, yet you often seem to contact them only when you need something, I encourage you to take a look at how you’re treating them. Know that every person deserves quality time here and there with those they consider a friend. Quality time that doesn’t revolve around favors needed by you or your own personal agendas. And quality time that is just you being with them, solely because you love being with them and treasure their company, as isn’t that what being a true friend is really all about?
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson
