Have you ever put off calling a long-distance friend you truly cared about solely because you were too busy to catch up, only to discover that they actually had passed away when you finally found some time to actually contact them? I raise this question merely because my own life experiences have shown me that a tomorrow doesn’t always come for those friends we keep putting off contacting.
The first time I experienced this was with my father. I was always too busy to bother with his phone calls and during one of those prolonged periods where I thought my schedule was too demanding to connect with him, I learned he died. It then happened a few years later with one of my grandmothers, then shortly thereafter with my mother, and eventually with a few good friends as well in subsequent years, where my contact to each had been put off for another day that never came.
The reality I learned through all this is that each of us only have today and that’s it. None of us know if tomorrow is ever going to arrive. Yet many of us live like it definitely will, not just for ourselves, but with those we care about too. Except deep down, we know that’s not true. It’s an illusion we continue to believe though and that’s what typically justifies us in making excuses to put off contacting those we love and care about, always assuming there’s going to be a tomorrow to do so. But after experiencing enough abrupt deaths of people I had put off contacting that I truly did love and care about, I realized I needed to stop doing so, because I may never get that tomorrow with them. But if somehow, this isn’t hitting home for you yet, here’s one more example that really speaks to how I learned this lesson in life.
I once had a friend named Monroe who lived in Falls Church, Virginia. We used to talk quite a bit about God, Christ, and the spiritual state of the world. He was someone who really understood me. But when I moved out of the area, the phone calls with him grew less and less, all because of me and my busy life. Eventually the calls ended altogether, not because I didn’t care about him or because I didn’t love him as a friend anymore. It was simply because I always felt too busy to reach out. But each time a thought arose about him, I’d usually say, “I really need to call him!”, except I didn’t because I frequently only had a few free minutes to spare at that moment. And it’s then I’d frequently tell myself he deserved more than a few minutes of my time, yet I’d forget all about after that for another bunch of weeks, only to repeat the same behavior the next time he popped into my head. When that day finally came where I set some time aside to catch up with him, someone else answered his phone and told me he had just passed away. That’s why I don’t put off calling a friend anymore when the thought of one arises, which brings me to a final thought.
What if God or some Universal Connection we all have to each other is the one that gives us those thoughts of a friend in a certain moment, solely because we’re meant to reach out to them, right there and then, just to say hello, even if it is just for a few minutes? Maybe that Higher Power is doing so for a reason? Maybe it’s because they need our friendship right now, or maybe it really is because they truly don’t have long for this world? And if you somehow knew the latter was actually true, wouldn’t you make that call immediately, even if you thought you were too busy?
As you ponder those questions and the rest of this article, know that for me, watching one person after another in my life pass away who I didn’t make the time for because I was too busy, has truly led to a great change in my life. One where I don’t put off contact anymore to those friends who suddenly arise in my thoughts. And one where I take a few minutes to call them, regardless if I think I’m too busy, because in all actuality, they may not ever get that tomorrow for me to reach out to…
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson
