I was told by a medium several decades ago that I was going to live until the ripe old age of 90. If that’s true, then I’ve finally reached the halfway point of my life, as today is my birthday and I’m now 45 years old. I’d like to mention as well that I’m also celebrating 22 years of continuous sobriety from alcohol, drugs, and cigarettes today, being that the last time I had any of those was June 10th, 1995.
Nevertheless, it’s strange to ponder the thought that I might actually be halfway over with my life already, as sometimes I don’t think I’ve accomplished much in life thus far. Yet, sometimes I think that’s just an illusion my ego tries to tell me, always pointing to the idea that I’m a failure.
You see, it’s my ego that far too often compares myself to at all those people in the world who have earned multiple degrees, including doctorates, who speak several languages, who have published books, who have a talent that’s made them famous, who have devoted their life to ministry, who are successfully running their dream business, etc., all by the same age as I am now.
Yet, if I throw away that illusion and go to my heart and the Source itself, that being God and the Spirit within me, a question arises for me to think about.
Maybe I’ve accomplished exactly that which I was supposed to accomplish by this point in life?
What I mean by that is the fact that although I haven’t earned more than my one bachelor’s degree yet, or learned to speak a bunch of languages yet, or published any books yet, or have any talent that’s put me on the world’s radar yet, or preached to any congregation yet, or opened my own dream business yet, I HAVE achieved the following…
Found sobriety from addictions to alcohol, drugs, cigarettes, caffeine, sex, love, and codependency
- Successfully sponsored a number of people through the entire 12 Step recovery process
- Found healing from being molested
- Found healing from both parents suicidal-type deaths
- Found a level of acceptance to embrace my sexuality openly
- Wrote monthly as a columnist for two newspapers
- Started a spiritual blog that I continue to write for daily for over four years now
- Learned to meditate and now spend 45 minutes each day doing so, and have gone for as long as 4 hours as well
- Have successfully taught meditation to plenty of others, ranging from 1 to around 100 people
- Self-taught myself numerology and have done many of those readings for others
- Have done leads at plenty of recovery meetings over the years, sharing my experience, strength and hope at them, a few times even to almost 200 people
- Was a Deacon at a church for several years where I served communion and prayed over others every Sunday
- Wrote two full length Young Adult fiction fantasy-based novels that could potentially be turned into two separate series
And well, that’s just what I could come up with in about 15 minutes of time as I pondered that question.
So, I think that’s why it’s best to never compare myself to anyone, because my ego is constantly going to try to show me how there’s someone else out there who’s done a lot more in life than me and in turn, tell me I’m a failure because of it. Instead, I’m going to choose to believe on this 45th birthday, regardless of whether it’s the halfway point of my life or not, that I have accomplished a lot already…maybe even to the exact degree of what God always envisioned for me to achieve by the time I reached 16,436 days old.
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson
