Month: August 2017

I’m really sensitive to negativity these days and I truly struggle being around any person who’s overly negative in their life. I’m also quite sensitive to the abundance of negative energy going on in our country right now as well.

I know all of this sensitivity is related to the pain I go through on a daily basis, as I’ve come to accept that what I’m dealing with inside me is out of my control, yet when I see others expound a bunch of negativity who have much better health and life circumstances than I, it makes me seriously cringe for two reasons. The first is related to gratitude and the second is related to my health itself.

With the first, most people who regularly expel tons of negative energy don’t practice daily gratitude in their lives. Instead of seeing all the good they have to be thankful for, they choose to constantly comment on every single little thing they find wrong in the world. What makes me become so sensitive to this directly relates to the greater limitations my life brings as compared to theirs. Like when someone complains about how long the lines were at an amusement park they attended recently. What they don’t see is the gift of being able to walk around that park and ride those rides, when others like me are unable to do so. That’s why I work really hard to practice gratitude now because there are even those out there who would love to live a day in my shoes and perceive that which I have is far greater than them.

As for the second reason, the one that relates to my health, my physical pain always seems to increase exponentially every time I get around someone who’s spewing negativity out of their mouth. Like when my partner is driving down the road and starts complaining about one “bad” driver to the next, I find myself shifting uncomfortably in my seat as my physical pain drives upwards. And trust me, I’ve tried everything from taking control to letting go and praying, hoping each might prevent this unwanted and unneeded pain increase, all to no avail.

So yes, I’ve become very sensitive to negativity these days, which is precisely why I spend so much time alone now, as there at least I don’t have to be around it. And in turn, I choose to be positive as best as I can when I get around others, even in light of my current circumstances, looking for gratitude in the things I still have like my eyesight and hearing, or the food, water, and shelter I’ve been given, or my sobriety from addictions, because there are plenty of others in this world who are lacking in any one of them.

While I wasn’t always this way and was once the very type of person I would currently be so sensitive around, I’ve learned the only thing that stands in the way of remaining more positive than negative, no matter what my circumstances, is my ego. As it’s the ego that says the world must become more positive for me to become more positive, but the real truth is that I must become more positive the more I want to see the world become that way…

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson