Silly Joke #1
A professor was giving a really difficult test one day to his students. He handed out all of the tests and went back to his desk to wait. Once the test was over each of the students handed the tests back in. The professor noticed that one of the students had attached a $100 bill to his test with a note saying “Here’s a dollar per point given to me…” The next class the professor handed the tests back out. The student got back his test with a note and an envelope attached below it, “Here’s your results and your $64 change…”
Silly Joke #2
Billy Bob and Bubba were talking one afternoon when Billy Bob tells Bubba, “Ya know, I reckon I’m ’bout ready for a vacation. Only this year I’m gonna do it a little different. The last few years, I took your advice about where to go. Three years ago you said to go to Hawaii. I went to Hawaii and Earlene got pregnant. Then two years ago, you told me to go to the Bahamas, and Earlene got pregnant again. Last year you suggested Tahiti and darned if Earlene didn’t get pregnant again.” Bubba asks Billy Bob, “So, what you gonna do this year that’s different?” Billy Bob says, “This year I’m taking Earlene with me!”
Silly Joke #3 (3 quick ones)
Little Johnny – “Dad, what’s the difference between the word “confident” and “confidential?””
Little Jonny’s Dad – “Hmm. Well, you are my son, of that I am confident! But, your best friend Timmy is also my son, and that’s confidential!”
Nutritionist: You really should be limited your caloric intake to 1200 calories a day.
Me: Ok, that sounds pretty doable. But how many can I have at night?
Potential Boss: “So, do you have any other questions for me?”
Potential Employee: “Well, what exactly does “competitive salary” mean?
Potential Boss: “It means your salary will be competing with your bills!”
Bonus Silly Joke (Adult humor)
An elderly couple who are both widowed have been courting for a long time. They decide it’s finally time to get married. Before the wedding, they go out to dinner and talk about how their marriage might work. They discuss finances, living arrangements and so on. Finally, the man broaches the subject of their physical relationship. “How do you feel about sex?” he asks, rather tentatively. “I would like it infrequently,” replies the old lady. The old gentleman sits quietly for a moment, adjusts his glasses, leans over towards her and whispers: “Is that one word or two?”
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson
