Silly Joke #1
Little Johnny came downstairs crying. His mother asked, “What’s the matter honey?” “Well, Dad was hanging pictures, and hit his thumb with a hammer,” said little Johnny through his tears. “Well, that doesn’t sound so serious or explain why you are crying so much?” soothed his mother. “I know you are upset, but this doesn’t really sound like something to cry about dear? Why don’t you just laugh it off? “I did Mommy, really hard, and Daddy ended up spanking me cuz of it!!!” sobbed Johnny.
Silly Joke #2
Anna: I’m in a big trouble!
Billy: Why is that?
Anna: I saw a mouse in my house!
Billy: Oh, well, all you need to do is use a trap.
Anna: I don’t have one.
Billy: Well then, buy one.
Anna: I can’t afford one.
Billy: I can give you one of mine if you want.
Anna: I’d like that. Thank you!
Billy: All you need is put some cheese in it to make the mouse come to the trap.
Anna: I don’t have any cheese.
Billy: Well, then, take a piece of bread and put a bit of oil in it and put it in the trap.
Anna: I don’t have any oil.
Billy: Well, then, just put a small piece of bread on it, it should still work.
Anna: I don’t have any bread.
Billy: Why the hell then is a mouse doing at your house if you don’t have anything!
Silly Joke #3
Doctor: You have a disease, but we can treat it.
Patient: Ok Doc, so what’s the cure?
Doctor: Well, that’s an 80s rock band fronted by Robert Smith, but let’s try to stay focused on your health plan right now ok?
Silly Joke #4
It was Schneider’s birthday, and that morning there was a knock on the door.
“Telegram!”
He opened the door excitedly, “Is it a singing telegram?” Schneider asked the messenger boy.
“No Sir. No one does singing telegrams anymore.”
“I’ve always wanted a singing telegram though! Can’t you bend the rules and make an old man happy?”
“Sorry.”
“Please,” begged Schneider. “It’s my birthday!”
“Oh, fine!” said the boy,
“Dah-dah dee… dee-dee-dah, your sister Ruth is dead!”
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson
