I have a dream, and I just want to place it out there today via this piece of writing, simply to claim it, knowing that even in this small action, I’m setting a ball in motion in a world where I believe anything can be possible, so long as I leave it in the hands of my Higher Power, whom I choose to refer to as God.
Look, I’ve spent much of my life trying to control my future. I’ve had many dreams and taken so many actions to make them come to fruition, except those that have, were never fulfilling, which is why I’m trying to do something different now by leaving this dream I have right now in life entirely within the control of God.
My dream is to work for the national side of my fraternity, Phi Kappa Psi, with my fraternity’s headquarters in other words, where I would be sent around the country to each of our active chapters, presently there are over 83, to tell my story of addiction to recovery and all the trauma I experienced in between, a story I continue to tell here locally in the Toledo, Ohio area, day in and day out, as a volunteer.
I love what I do as a volunteer. I love helping out at detoxes, halfway houses, sober living situations, with the nursing students at the University of Toledo (UT), with UT’s Phi Kappa Psi chapter, and with those I sponsor in recovery as well, sharing my story of addiction to recovery from the depths of my heart, as it seems to truly be helping others, providing many a healing path from their own traumas of life and one that also leads them away from a life of addiction.
The idea of going from chapter to chapter, meeting with brothers around the country within my very own fraternity, who are just beginning their lives really would be a dream come true for me. My only hope in that job would be that in doing it, I could help many avert going down the long, dark, and circuitous path I went in life that took me nowhere but into the depths of despair and addiction. I honestly believe that doing this work would be invaluable with all that’s going on in our world right now.
The fact is alcohol and drug use are both rapidly on the rise throughout college campuses across the nation. Addiction continues to increase as well amongst the younger generations. Combine that with the hazing that still keeps happening in various social organizations, especially with fraternities and sororities, and terrible tragedies continue to happen. Each year it seems as if another death occurs due to this. A number of my own chapters over the years have lost their affiliations with their respective campuses due to these circumstances.
Most of my descent into addiction began during my collegiate years after I entered Greek life. There, I always felt like I had no one to talk to, no one to relate to, no one to open up to really. If I had just heard a story like mine from a fellow brother, it might have planted a necessary seed that could have sprouted far earlier in my life, preventing a lot of the pain and hardship I placed upon my life by living in so many addictions. This is precisely why I have this dream, because I’ve seen how my story has helped do this very thing within many individuals over the years and I give all that credit to God and not myself.
But a few years ago, I became overzealous and tried to control this dream by sending out 20 personal letters to 20 different Phi Kappa Psi chapters within driving distance of my home in Toledo. I was quite bold in those letters and honestly, I don’t think I was coming from a humble space at all back then. It’s probably why I never heard from a single chapter. Not one. So, I took that as a sign from my Higher Power that maybe it wasn’t the right time, or wasn’t my path, or I just needed to get humbler. Regardless, I backed off, and continued to do my volunteer work ever since, always hoping in the back of my mind, that one day I might work more closely with my fraternity I have come to love far more deeply, especially recently.
Nevertheless, I may not have a specific degree in what I’m doing right now in life by telling my story of addiction to recovery to everyone that I do. And I may not have a certificate that backs any of what I share from the depths of my heart each time either. But, what I do have is a passion and gift to speak, one I feel that comes from my Higher Power, which is why I’m leaving this with God, who knows I’m ready to go wherever and whenever it is I’m meant to go to help others. If that somehow, one day, can be with all my brothers of Phi Kappa Psi around the chapters of our nation, I truly would be finally living out a dream that I know would be 100% fulfilling…
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson
