Silly Joke #1
Bob received a text one day from from his neighbor John. “I am so sorry Bob. I’ve been riddled with guilt and at church I was led to confess. I have been tapping your wife, for a long while now, every time you haven’t been home. I wasn’t getting it at home, but I know now that’s no excuse. I’ve been feeling so bad about it and have ended doing it. I hope you will accept this as my sincerest apology.” Bob, anguished and feeling betrayed, confronted his wife, and began having the worst fight of his marriage. He screamed he was leaving her because of her infidelity and shouted the worst of obscenities towards her. Suddenly, his phone beeped, it was a second text came from John, “Oh my, I’m so sorry Bob, I just realized my text message was autocorrected, it was supposed to say “wifi”, not “wife”!
Silly Joke #2
Two guys were sitting at the bar. One of them said, “I have a date with a beautiful woman tonight who is planning on coming over to my home for dinner but I’m struggling with how to make it really special.” “How so?” asked his friend. “Well, um… for example what do you think will go better with waffles, red or white wine?” His friend responded, “Um, is it too late to cancel your date?”
Silly Joke #3
Aging Wife: Why do you spend so much time with your 1968 Corvette?
Aging Husband: Well you know dear, they say a man’s car is a reflection of himself.
Aging Wife: Well, I guess I have to agree then, as sometimes your car doesn’t want to start, but when it does, it sputters a lot and back fires before it finally gets going…
Bonus Silly Joke (Adult Humor)
A divorced man, after knocking back a few drinks at a party, bumps into his ex-wife’s new husband. He decides to mock him out of anger and walks over to him and sneers: “So, how do you like using second-hand goods huh George?” “Doesn’t bother me one bit Larry,” George replies. “According to my wife, once I’m past those first three inches, it’s all brand new!”
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Andrew Dawson
