Have you ever experienced a temporary loss of memory during a period of alcohol intoxication? Most hardened drinkers, like I once was, have at some point, and to us it’s well known as having experienced a blackout, something that can be a sure sign of addiction when it happens more than once.
For those who might not understand the science behind an alcohol blackout, the gaps that occur in a person’s memory during intoxication happen when a person drinks enough alcohol to temporarily block the transfer of memories from short-term to long-term storage, something known as memory consolidation, in the hippocampus area of the brain.
To understand the difference between a non-addict experiencing an alcohol blackout versus an addict, I think it’s best to share with all of you my partner Chris’s experience with when it first happened to him and my first experience.
Chris experienced his first blackout back in 2003 on a night where he was out drinking with a few friends. Once he left the bar he was enjoying himself at, he lost all recollection of anything that took place after. He eventually “came to” once he found himself walking in his front door. The experience left him with a permanent fear that scared him so much he’s never consumed more than a single drink or two ever since and never experienced a blackout again either.
Me, on the other hand, experienced my first blackout on the very first night I ever consumed alcohol, which was in late February of 1990 at a high school party. From the moment I quickly finished my second beer, the rest of the recollection of my evening was wiped out of existence for me. I didn’t “come to” until the party was over when I was about to head home. While that should have scared me, it didn’t, as I rather enjoyed the experience. Why? Because for a moment, it allowed me to forget about all the pain of my life and helped me to feel free for once of many painful memories. I’d go on to have repeated blackouts for six more years after that night until I finally accepted I was an alcoholic and earned my first full day of sobriety on June 11th, 1995.
So, as you can see, there is a big difference in how a non-addict and an addict handles alcohol blackouts. The reality though for anyone experiencing even a single one is that it’s most definitely something to pay attention to and be concerned over. Many in 12 Step recovery over the years have told me countless stories of terrible things they’ve done during their own blackouts that ranged from DUI’s, physically hurting others or themselves, getting sexually abused, stealing, vandalizing, and worse. I have a number of my own sad stories I could share when it comes to all those years I blacked out from excessive drinking. Most had me waking up in very strange places, including other residences of people I didn’t even know. Nevertheless, the damage alcohol blackouts due on the mind and body is highly detrimental in of itself even with it happening just once, so it’s most assuredly something to pay attention to.
The bottom line is that experiencing repeated alcohol blackouts can most definitely be a sign of an active alcohol addiction or a brewing one. So, if you should ever find yourself having more than one of these, please know this isn’t a good thing, and most certainly is a warning sign that you aren’t on a healthy path with your consumption of alcohol. I highly encourage you to seek help, as you may find that it’s far better to address any potential reasons for wanting to drink to the point of blacking out, than continuing to take the risk of drinking so excessively that you might just come out of a blackout after doing something so bad that you’ll never be able to take it back…
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson
