Are the people you normally gravitate towards to make a new acquaintance or friendship those you find attractive? If so, do they often turn into great connections or do they never really go anywhere over time?
For me, for far too long, most of the people I’d make an effort trying to connect with were those I indeed found attractive, with most of that behavior stemming from my addiction-like tendencies. Yet in the long run, none of those I sought out in this way ever really worked out that well.
Recently in fact, I had a strong reminder of this with someone I tried to get to know, but this time the result led me to make a decision that I need to start turning this behavior over to God and let God start guiding all new acquaintances and friendships into my life instead.
I say this because most often the outcome of acquaintances and friendships I made due to an initial attraction has been things such as unreturned phone calls, impersonal text messages, constant cancellation of plans, and many other disappointing things.
But yet, for the few people that have come into my life on their own accord over the years, that were ones I didn’t purse because of an initial attraction, each has remained in my life for almost 20 years now. This is why I really feel that maybe it’s time to stop thinking I know who’s best to bring into my life because so far I haven’t had a very good track record.
Truth to be told, I’m going through a lot of changes lately in the acquaintance and friendship department and have been writing about this quite a bit in recent months. I think this unhealthy gravitation towards those I find attractive is just one more piece I’m coming to understand about myself.
What’s interesting though is that I already discovered this in my dating life just over four years ago now. Before I met my current partner, I thought I knew who was best for me to be in a relationship with. Yet each person I found, pursued, and dated always imploded and constantly left me single and wondering why. But when, I finally turned it over to God, in walked my current partner who actually found me instead of the other way around and so far this has been the best relationship I’ve ever had.
Thus, I think there’s really something to all this. I honestly think it’s time to start allowing my Higher Power to bring people into my life who are meant to be my acquaintance or friend. Because in all likelihood, allowing God to do this is most likely going to result in a connection that has far greater longevity and a far healthier foundation than any of my own attempts to forge something that only arose out of me finding someone attractive… J
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson
For many years, I never considered myself attractive in the least. With that as my basis, I would gravitate to people who engaged either my mind or my compassion. Even today, I’ve found that those who others consider “pretty” or “hot” people are often “a mile wide and an inch deep” – nothing much there to hold my interest.