Sometimes I really think that there’s a darkness in this world that’s really out to get us, especially when we’re feeling down and out for the count. I know some would probably label that darkness as the Devil or Satan, but I often feel that there’s an opposing force to the Light I seek that’s made up of much more than just a single entity.
Why I say all this is due to the day I was having recently where everything was feeling upside down. It started with a number of health issues and high pain levels, then it was dealing with some arguments between my partner and I, then it was going through a frustrating therapy session where I felt like I went nowhere, and later at a social get-together where I had hoped to find a small slice of peace and serenity, I suddenly got a stream of text messages on my phone, each listing high dollar charges that had been just made on my card, asking if I authorize them.
At first I thought it was just some type of prank or scam coming across my mobile device, but upon further inspection into my online credit card balance, I saw over $800 of charges had appeared from Old Navy in Greenville, South Carolina. I haven’t set foot in any Old Navy store in a good long time, let alone ever been to Greenville, South Carolina. And given that I was sitting at a party in front of a warm fireplace in Toledo, Ohio, hundreds of miles away from where these charges were made, I immediately knew my credit card had been stolen yet again.
I say yet again because in the past five years it’s happened to me three separate times and believe me, none of them were because I was being careless with my identity. The first was due to my card being stolen from a hacked computer system. The second was due to someone electronically swiping it with one of those machines that can walk by any person and scan it through their pants. And the third being this one, which I’m frankly clueless how they got it being that it was a chip card and protected by a special sleeve in my wallet. That being said, all of this identity theft is in addition to my social security number being lifted as well two years ago, where I had to prove to the IRS that thousands of dollars in tax filings didn’t come from me.
Nevertheless, I’ve been finding it extremely frustrating lately how I can be spending so much energy and effort to connect with Source, to follow Christ, to trust God, and to clean my life up, especially after a number of years where I couldn’t have cared less about any of that. Yet it seems as if ever since I embarked on following this Higher Path, I’ve been hit from all fronts. And ironically, I had just mentioned to my therapist earlier in the day where all this took place, that I often wonder if the darkness of this world is attempting to get me to denounce my faith in God by creating one negative event after another in my life and often in a single day.
I know many would say that bad things just happen and it’s really just a fact of life, but trust me when I say that if you walked in my shoes over the past bunch of years, you would see that statement doesn’t apply given the number of terrible things that have happened in such a short period of time.
Regardless, I’m here to say that no matter how much is thrown my way by whatever darkness exists in this world, that no matter how many bad things continue to happen to me, I’m not going to ever give up my faith in God. Because nothing good ever came out of my life when I lived in darkness! Instead, it was an endless stream of disappointments far worse than any of what I’ve experienced as of late.
So, while my life may still be experiencing plenty of days like this one, where all the dominoes seem to fall over one by one, and where I often end up screaming at the top of my lungs saying, “f-you darkness”, I remain faithful to Christ, to God, and to the Light, even when the darkness attacks like this in droves. I know I have a much greater calling in this world that’s going to be far better than anything darkness will ever have for me. And to be perfectly honest, when it comes down to it, I simply think this darkness is just scared of the path that God has for me, and of my ultimate potential to create a lot more love and light in this world, which it doesn’t like one bit…
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson
