Author: Andrew Arthur Dawson

Since being born in 1972, I have been alive for the Presidency’s of Lyndon B. Johnson, Richard Nixon, Gerald Ford, Jimmy Carter, Ronald Reagan, George H.W. Bush, Bill Clinton, George W. Bush, and Barack Obama. While I may not remember much about the first few of those Presidents during the early years of my life, I do remember the majority of them since Carter. And if there’s one thing I’ve come to learn about all of them, it’s that no matter who the Head of State is at any given time, someone is always blaming them for the ills of the nation that happen during their term. But often, it’s not even the President’s fault.

Throughout my life, I have watched my grandparents, parents, my sister, both her first and second husbands, friends, partners, and other loved ones, complain time and time again about each President and how they feel the problems in our country are because of them. While some of the President’s decision making may not at times be in the best interest of the entire country at whole, it’s easy to place the blame on them for all our country’s troubles anyway. Many people look at the President as a god of some sort that is “way up there” and believe that each of them has some godly power to control and fix every single ill of society. But what most often forget about is that not only is the President just one person in a position of leadership within a large government structure, there is also a system of checks and balances for them with the Legislative and Judicial branches affecting much of what happens during their term. With the Senate, Congress, and the Supreme Court each having their own forms of control, it’s often that vetoes and decisions overrule the President’s attempts to make many of those positive changes people are seeking.

Many years ago I lived near Washington D.C. and got to see the first screening there of Michael Moore’s controversial movie entitled Fahrenheit 9/11. This was a documentary film about the events that happened during 9/11 and it showed evidence that proposed President Bush being a big cause to what happened on that tragic day. As I left the theater, there were news crews present that were interviewing people about their opinions on not only the movie but also on President Bush. One of them stopped me and ask if I felt the current President was the main problem for our country. My response was swift and to the point. I simply stated that too many of the citizens of our country are always quick to blame each and every President for every single problem. And I told them that the real work for changing our country to making it a happier, and healthier place, is done through each and every one of us. The news person was stunned and had no other questions to ask me after that.

Unfortunately, what people aren’t realizing is that if all of us could unite together with a lot more love and light, things would automatically change for the better without having to rely upon the President, or anyone else in political power for that matter. If we could just be more giving of ourselves selflessly to those less fortunate, things could move in the direction that we want the President to make them move. If we could practice greater peace making efforts with each other day to day, things could move in the direction that we want the President to make them move. If we could focus on unity rather than division, things could move in the direction that we want the President to make them move. And if we could work on integrating all walks of life together and embracing total equality, instead of using religious and other various platforms to segregate, things could move in the direction that we want the President to make them move. But instead, too many of us just sit back and point the fingers at the President, and do nothing more than continue to be selfish and self-centered in life which only makes our country a lot less loving of a place to be in.

The reality is that each of us have to do our part to making this country and this world a better place. The President is not the total cause of all the problems that revolve around our countries issues with drugs, poverty, the economy, job availability, gay marriage, health care, gun violence, and more. The finger pointing at others, especially the President really needs to end and instead be pointed directly back at oneself because that’s where the changes truly need to begin.

So the next time you might find yourself wanting to chastise the President to someone around you because of something bad happening in the country or the world, I encourage you to take a moment, breathe, and realize the President is not the person to blame. There are many others in political power affecting all of the unfortunate conditions in society who have just as much of a say. And if you are like me and not one of those in any position of political power, the changes you want to see the President make can still begin with you. Seek a Higher Guidance and begin practicing loving yourself and all others a lot more unconditionally and I’m sure you’ll not only start seeing the President in a very different light, you’ll probably stop blaming them for every problem too.

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson

It always saddens me when I see people leave poor tips in restaurants when they are dining out. I’ve come to learn over the years with eating out quite often in so many various establishments, that most waiters and waitresses depend upon the tips given to them to earn their living. In our country, most wait staff receive only a few dollars an hour for just showing up to do their jobs. The rest is up to how many customers show up and how much they get in their tips.

All too often in my dinners out and about with friends and acquaintances, I’ve silently observed how people will make an assumption that for anything which goes wrong during their meal, that it’s the waiter or waitress’s fault. So in all those cases where foods don’t come out the way they’re ordered, or when they are prepared poorly, or when they don’t taste that good, or when they takes a long time to get to the table, it’s usually reflected in the server’s tip by these same people. But ironically, I’ve found it’s often the kitchen that is making many of these mistakes. And sadly, the kitchen is not the one that suffers the consequences from that poor tip. It’s the waiter or waitress that does, even though it frequently wasn’t even their fault.

There are cases too when the wait staff in a restaurant is grossly shorthanded. That can occur when people don’t show up for work or for the times when crowds are surging more than what the wait staff is set up to handle. I’ve dined at restaurants where these conditions have occurred and it really is not a reflection upon the waiter or waitress in those situations when the dining experience is not done to a level that my ego might think it should be.

The bottom line here is that the first person people tend to blame in a restaurant for anything that goes wrong during their dining experience is the waiter or waitress, when in fact, that’s often not the case. It’s the ego that makes that assumption and because of it, the tip that’s left to them is usually lousy. And that’s completely unfair to these waiters or waitresses who may have done their absolute best to make the meal experience the best it could be.

I think about this all the time now when I dine out and do my best today to always tip at least 20 percent of the total bill regardless of how bad my meal experience was. Even if it really came down to the fact that the waiter or waitress was truly the problem, I always tell myself I don’t know what’s going on in those people’s lives. Maybe they’re new to being a food server. Maybe their boss at that restaurant is constantly yelling at them for no reason. Maybe they’ve just had a serious blow in their lives such as someone close to them dying, or their health is deteriorating, or someone just ended a relationship with them. Regardless of whatever the circumstance is, doesn’t each of them warrant my compassion? Don’t I want others to have that same compassion for me if there comes a time when I’m not performing up to my par?

The next time you find yourself dining out and are about to leave your tip, I encourage each of you to take a moment, breathe, and try to be more generous to your waiter or waitress with the tip you are about to leave them. Even if your meal didn’t meet your ego’s expectations, it’s often not the wait staff’s fault and in those cases where it truly might have been, you never know what’s really going on in your server’s life that may warrant your love and compassion instead of your stinginess. Please also try to remember that the tip you’re about to leave your server is the sole source of their income. Think what it may be like for you if your job didn’t give you your paycheck because they felt you didn’t quite live up to their expectations. Hopefully now, you’ll want to leave your server that 20 percent or even greater…

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson

Currently, there are close to three million marriages occurring each year in the United States. And sadly, most people know already of the alarming statistic that over 50 percent of them will eventually end in divorce. So why is that?

I believe there are many factors which contribute to that one out of every two marriage’s falling. But the truth is that most fall apart because the two people stop working together on showing support for each other and instead began focusing on their own selfish interests.

Being in a marriage is challenging and I’m convinced that sustaining longevity in any of them often requires putting the other partner’s interests first. In a new relationship or marriage, this often happens naturally. Each partner is generally so excited to be with each other, they automatically are willing to do just about everything outside their usual comfort zone. But eventually, that buzz wears off. And that’s when the ego begins to take control where many people return to their same self-centered selves that existed prior to entering into that connection. It’s then, that going out of one’s way to doing special things for the other partner, going above and beyond the normal chore duties to help that other partner out, and even just listening intently on the words coming out of the other partner’s mouth when they’re communicating, begins to fall to the wayside. This is when one or both partners begin to focus on their own needs, wants, and desires first and their other half’s second. And when that begins to take place over a period of time, partners become unhappy because they don’t feel as important in each other’s eyes which then leads the marriage to dissolve.

Then there’s those marriages which end because they only began based upon selfish interests that surrounded what a person looked like or had to offer them such as money or power. As those looks disappear when each partner grows older, or if that money or power begins to dissipate, the marriage can suddenly loose its allure because it was never based upon selfless and unconditionally loving principles.

I also know there are many marriages that begin based out of nothing but fear. My sister is in her second marriage now but her first lasted a very short time because a large part of her was afraid to be alone so she took the first offer that came her way. I’ve also known of some who married over their fear of being gay and others who were pushed into it because of family pressures. And unfortunately, for any of these types of marriages where some type of fear brings two people together, there’s a strong tendency for them to implode because they didn’t originate from a true soul to soul connection.

Recently, I’ve been talking about marriage a lot more with my partner who I’ve been with now for just about 18 months. Neither of us want to contribute to that alarming divorce statistic so we have been waiting patiently and working diligently on growing a spiritual connection with God at the center. This has translated into putting each other’s needs first more than not and given us a communication that is helping us to grow together. I believe that if we continue doing this, we will end up marrying when the time feels right and can become one of those couples that spends their lives together like Harold and Ruth Knapke of Dayton, Ohio did. I read in USA Today recently that this couple spent 65 years together happily married and on August 11th, 2013, just days before their 66th anniversary, they passed away within hours of each other. To me that is true love that was based upon a soul to soul connection.

It’s a shame though that so many other marriages end in divorce these days. There’s a good chance that any marriage which comes together because of fear or selfish interests will follow this trend, and only increase the country’s divorce rate. The same probably holds true for those marriages where one or both partners is focusing more on their own needs first. I’d safe it was a safe bet that neither condition was true for the Knapke’s who stayed happily married until their deaths.

For those out there who might be considering marriage right now, I really hope each of you will ask yourself honestly if you are doing it based upon true love and not out of fear or things such as physical attraction, wealth, or power. And as for those out there who might be already married but going through seriously rocky times, I really hope each of you will take a hard look at yourself to see if you might be placing your own needs, wants, and desires first and your other half’s second more than not. In either of these cases, you don’t have to eventually become another statistic that only increases our country’s divorce rate. Seek a Higher Guidance and know in doing this, you will be guided to healthier marriages.

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson