Category: A Spiritual Look At All Forms Of Entertainment…

One of the greatest little pleasures I get in life is when I actually watch cartoons. While I mostly like the superhero based ones presently, I’m still a big fan of all of the ones I grew up with. My partner has the tendency to chuckle when he sees me so engrossed in one, but I think that’s because I have the tendency to totally tune out the world and act like a kid when I watch them. What he doesn’t fully grasp, is how therapeutic it is for me to watch these cartoons as it brings me back to a time when I really loved being a kid.

I’ve found over the years that all people have at least one positive memory from their childhood, if not more, buried within themselves of something they once enjoyed doing with any type of frequency, like watching cartoons was for me. While it may take some healing work to access any of them, especially for those who had a dysfunctional childhood, I’ve yet to find a single person who didn’t have at least one thing they really loved doing as a kid. But sadly, most leave those happy childhood memories and the activities they did back then to create them, as just that, memories. Unfortunately, what they fail to realize, like I did for several decades, is how healing it would be for them in the present to do any of those activities again.

It’s really sad to say this, but too many adults stay in adult mode and forget about that child they once were. They grow up and become these mature people who do mature things. And meanwhile, that child lives on within themselves, except they have been put into some inner dark room and neglected. Now picture for just a moment what would happen to a real living, breathing child, if they were put into some dark room in their family’s house and neglected for awhile. I think you can imagine how much that child would be screaming and crying because of their fear, sadness, anguish or anger due to that action. That’s a lot like what happens within all of us if we neglect the child we once were.

I meet adults all the time a lot like how I once was, who have neglected their inner child for years and years, if not their whole adult life. They all appear to share a similar trait in that they seem to be quite often miserable about everything in life. Nothing seems to bring them that giggly joy they might have once felt as a kid. In some cases, such as it was with myself a few years ago, there are those who have neglected their inner child for so long that they’ve become severely depressed and physically sick. Medical studies have shown that there’s a strong connection between a person’s health and the relationship they have with their inner child. Thus it makes sense that a person’s health could decline if they continue to neglect their inner child instead of developing a stronger and healthier relationship with him or her.

In my case, I have found that cartoons is currently one of the strongest connections I have to developing a stronger and healthier relationship with my inner child. As a kid, from as far back as I can remember, until the age of 17, I spent every single Saturday morning watching cartoons between 8am and 12pm. Some of those included The Smurfs, The Snorks, Captain Planet, the Looney Toons, Voltron, He-Man and the Masters of the Universe, GI-Joe, the Transformers, Scooby-Doo, Spider-Man and His Amazing Friends, Inspector Gadget, the Superfriends, the Thundercats, and the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. During those four hours, all of the dysfunctionality in my family went away and I remained deaf to any of their arguments or drama. It was then that my eyes and ears were always glued to the animated characters on the television screen so brightly lit in front of me. And I absolutely loved those hours because it was in those moments that I just really loved being a kid.

A few years ago, I began to realize just how much I neglected my inner child starting around the age of 17 as it was then that I picked up alcohol and stopped doing things such as watching those cartoons. From that point on, I spent the majority of my energy doing everything but what my inner child liked to do. Instead, I chased after things that adults like to pursue such as alcohol, drugs, sex, gambling, money, and various other material goods, all of which most kids could ever care less about. But if you think for a moment what a kid might normally like, it’s things such as going to a park and playing on a jungle gym, or playing a pick up game of some type of sport in their neighborhood, or going for a ride on their bike, or reading an exciting book, or taking a hike, or building a sandcastle on a beach, or playing a video game, or like in my case, watching a cartoon. I stopped doing all of those things when my addictions took over my life and my misery grew exponentially because of it. Thankfully that’s not the case for me anymore.

Today, I’m not ashamed to admit that I watch with regularity cartoons such as Ben-10, Ultimate Spider-Man, Beware The Batman, Avengers Assemble, and Hulk and the Agents of S.M.A.S.H. Why? Because it makes the kid in me happy. It brings a smile to that inner child who has lived within me since the day I was born. While my body grew up and matured into adulthood, a part of me always remained a kid. I don’t neglect that kid anymore because I do things regularly such as watching cartoons. And the best part about this is that I seem to have those joyful giggles a lot more these days. But even more importantly, I really believe that this is also a major reason why my health seems to be improving more and more every single day.

So if you happen to be someone who’s become an adult and experiences misery and depression regularly in life, I encourage you to take a moment, breathe, and find that memory from your childhood of something you once did that brought you great joy. No matter what it is, just try doing it, even if it seems totally silly, and you may find in doing so, that your outlook on life immediately improves…

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson

It’s funny how the Universe has a way of aligning things for me to reflect on these days. I had a few hours to kill the other day before meeting up with a friend at a local AA meeting and decided to catch a movie during that time period. Little did I know that the movie I was about to see, Don Jon, was going to focus on the main actor’s struggle with sexual addiction, which ironically has been one of the hardest things I’ve had to face in my own life. But even more unbeknownst to me than that was the fact that the meeting I attended afterwards would focus in on a related subject with a discussion on the topic of sexual conduct.

Any deep conversations about sex are normally considered taboo and not a topic that many like to talk about unless it’s discussed with the closest of friends and loved ones, or possibly with a medical professional, therapist, or priest. So I was rather shocked when I spent almost two hours in a movie theater watching Don Jon, and then another hour and fifteen minutes later that evening in a meeting, where all the conversations in both had people talking about this subject as if it was an everyday thing to do.

In Don Jon, the lead character is of course named Jon who is played by actor Joseph Gordon-Levitt. Jon is strikingly handsome with a good personality who is able to get any woman he wants, but he also loves to watch pornographic material every day on his computer that even takes precedence over any of the women he meets and takes home to have sex with. That holds true as well when he meets his “10”of a woman, who represents his ideal of someone with a perfect physique. Her name is Barbara, who is played by actress Scarlett Johansson, and even though she represents his “10”, his love of porn still wins out. In short, the rest of the movie plays comedically with Jon coming to terms that his love of porn may actually be a sexual addiction that’s not very healthy for him.

I honestly didn’t want to like the movie as I watched it, probably because it reminded me too much of the years I did his same exact behaviors. Porn was one of my greatest indulgences for years because I found it to be easier to live in the fantasy that comes from it rather than the reality of the people I actually dated. By the end of the movie though as I headed to that AA meeting, I was deep in thought about all of this and realized how much I ended up liking his portrayal of sexual addiction because it was an exceptionally good one. What was uncanny though was sitting in that AA meeting not too long after this and listening to the chairperson read a few chapters out of the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous that focused solely on looking at one’s sexual conduct. Unless I’m attending a Sex and Love Addicts based recovery meeting, I don’t normally expect to hear deep discussions about one’s personal sexual behaviors and experiences. That wasn’t the case though with this closed men’s meeting, as there I heard about all about that and how many were just like Don Jon and me.

I agree with those on one level who will say that God gave us the desire to be sexual with each other, except I’ve often thought that too many misconstrue this statement into what they feel is best for themselves. I did that for years when I looked at porn regularly and told myself it was ok because God gave me a penis and no one was getting hurt with me watching the stuff. But eventually I wanted more and that turned into me having phone sex with many people I met online who I would never meet in person. And eventually that became not enough either as it turned into me getting into one relationship after another where I told myself I wasn’t cheating when I continued looking at porn, having phone sex, or fantasizing about others. At some point that too wasn’t enough and it turned into me chasing after married or partnered people to have sex with, where I told myself it was ok because I was the single one and we were two consenting adults. The result in all of this was my sexual conduct grew so out of control that it became a sexual addiction that controlled my life.

My rule of thumb today with my sexual conduct is quite simple actually. I ask myself whether the sexual things I’m doing are bringing me any closer to God or farther away from God. And no, I’m not talking about the moments where I might go “Oh God! Oh God!” at the end of a sexual act. What I’m referring to instead is how I look to see if more love and light will be added to my heart and soul, as well as to this world, by my sexual behaviors.

I can promise you this. The more you look at any type of porn, have phone or cyber sex with strangers, hire escorts and hookers, fantasize about someone other than your partner, are promiscuous with random people, or lure a person out of their monogamous relationship to have sex with them, the more you’re going to move farther away from being filled with unconditional love and light. And the more you move farther away from being filled with unconditional love and light, the more you’re going to start developing a serious spiritual sickness. And the more you start developing a serious spiritual sickness, the more addiction prone you’re going to become like Don Jon, myself, and some of those who shared in that meeting the other night did. And the more addiction prone you become, the more you’re only going to end up destroying your own soul. So if by some chance this is the path you’re on already, ask yourself if this is how you want to end up. For your sake, I pray that’s not so…

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson

Have you ever gone to the movies and left behind a personal belonging that you didn’t even realize it was missing until you made it all the way back home at which point you reacted in serious alarm? The other day, this happened to me, but I have to admit it’s also a funny story that taught me a very valuable lesson.

It all began on a cloudy, drizzly, and cool August day where I decided to head to the theater for a bargain matinee. Having received much critically acclaimed buzz, I chose to see The Spectacular Now which was about a senior in high school suffering from alcoholism and a broken soul. For just under two hours, I was so deeply engrossed in the main character of Sutter, who is played by actor Miles Teller, that I held a deep urge to go the bathroom during most of it.

While I sat there, I did my best to sit as comfortably as possible, not only with that urge, but also with the physical pains I continue to deal with in my body. Like always, I sat in various weird positions in the relatively empty theater as I tried to ease my pain as well as that urge to run to the bathroom. What I didn’t know was that one of the pockets in my cargo shorts was halfway open and it was the one that always holds a pouch I carry that contains my personal crystals and recovery chips.

When the movie ended, I ran to the bathroom deep in thought about it, especially it’s ending that left me wondering what would happen to Sutter in life. By the time I got home about 25 minutes later, I was still preoccupied with thoughts on the movie. That was until I reached down into my pockets to empty them and relax for the evening, as I had no plans to go back out again. Unfortunately, it was in that moment where all of that reflection, deep state of pondering, and tranquility I was feeling, evaporated instantly as I realized my special pouch of trinkets wasn’t in my right pocket.

I did what most people might do in this situation, which was then to feel in that pocket a ton of more times thinking that it might miraculously appear there with one of those attempts. It didn’t of course and I ran around the house thinking I might have set it down in the places I had gone to since arriving back home. But I hadn’t. So I raced out the door and into my car thinking maybe, just maybe, it might have slipped out in there somewhere while I was driving. But it hadn’t. After a few more times of repeating the same behaviors almost obsessively by going in and out of the house to look for it, I got into my car and decided to start frantically driving back towards this theater, forgetting about all appropriate driving measures.

My phone fumbled in my hands and almost dropped to the floor as I broke even my own cardinal rule of using it for anything but a phone call while I’m driving. I searched in desperation for this theater’s direct phone line on the web and when I found it, I realized it was only the recorded line. After barely listening to the message, I hit zero multiple times thinking that would connect me quicker, but it only reset me back to the beginning of that recorded message. Finally, I mustered up a slight bit more of patience as I merged onto the highway heading towards that theater, and hit the right combination of numbers to get the recorded voice to tell me what the direct phone number was.

When the manager answered the phone from the theater, I rambled off as quickly as possible the exact location where I sat and what I had lost. I know I probably sounded quite desperate, but this pouch contained some things that had deep meaning for me, especially with where I’m at in my life right now. I said something of the sort to that manager who then placed me on hold as she went to look for it. As I continued rocketing towards that theater, I realized I had reverted to my old terrible driving skills. By the time I was no more than a mile or so away from getting back to the theater, the manager came back on the line and told me she didn’t find it. I responded that I was almost there and would help her look again, convinced she had missed it. Minutes later, I was entering that theater again, but this time wondering if I was going to interrupt the next movie being shown by having to ask people to move while I searched for the pouch. Thankfully, neither was true.

After kneeling on a floor that I wished I hadn’t and placing my hands through all that stickiness to find nothing, I got that sinking feeling inside that the pouch was gone for good. Regrettably, I even asked the manager as I got ready to leave the theater if she trusted her employees who cleaned the theater as I thought maybe one of them took it. If anyone could have seen me leaving the theater my second time that day after giving that manager my contact information in case it turned up, I would have looked like I had just attended a funeral.

With a last ditch amount of hope, I drove recklessly back home, breaking my own driving rules once again as I thought maybe somehow it was there and I just hadn’t seen it in my previous frantic search. As I ran back into the house, and past my roommate’s dog who looked at me like I was crazy, I headed upstairs to my bedroom, and unbelievably, there it was. Sitting on my bedside, where I had left it the night before, the pouch had never even been put it in my pocket earlier in the day when I had left for the theater! As I placed it back in my pocket, I thanked God immensely and forgave myself with a smile for how silly the whole thing was.

There’s a lesson in this story for me. And it’s about slowing down, even in my times of greater stress. If I had just taken one of my own moments, breathed, and allowed myself to have a little less fanaticism about my supposed loss of that pouch, I would have realized it had never been lost in the first place and saved myself a lot of unneeded hassle…

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson