Category: Daily Reflection

“When I say I’m fine, I’m not lying, but my fine is different than yours. The pain that I live with exhausts me and the judgments frustrates me to my core. I don’t want to complain or to bother, or put any damper of pain on your day, so when I say I’m fine, I’m not lying, but also, I’m not really okay. It’s been this way for so long now, I can’t remember, really, much else. My life so incredibly different, I feel not so much like myself. I’m not asking for attention or pity, just maybe that you’d understand, that I fight many battles, just daily, how to live, walk, think, even stand. So, when I say I’m fine, I’m not lying, but there’s much more to it than that. On the outside you maybe can’t see it, yet on the inside I’m under attack. My own body is working against me, some days I can’t help but pray, that when I say I’m fine, I’m not lying, just hoping I’ll feel better one day…” (By Jaely Rova)

Sometimes there are very few words that need to be said after reading something like this. They sum up quite nicely, the very thing I’ve been facing for far too long. Suffering has been my constant companion for almost a decade now, yet I continue to keep my faith it will one day be replaced with joy instead. I took for granted the life I once had, rarely expressing any gratitude for the abundance I used to experience. Then everything changed and all the things I claimed as who I was immediately disappeared in the blink of an eye, leaving me a mere shell of my former self. What keeps me going one day to the next is the daily prayers I leave with God to feel better. In the meantime, though, while I wait, I continue to feel like I’m crumbling inside, all while still smiling as best as I can on the outside. If you’ve never experienced intense suffering like this for anything more than a season, know there are people out there like Jaely and myself who have had to endure much longer. So, if you come across someone like us, all we can hope is that you have a little compassion, while we wait upon God for a brighter day, one that we haven’t seen in some time, but one we also know He can and will deliver us into when it’s time.

Lord, I thank you for how much my suffering has changed my perspective upon the world. It’s helped me to truly have deep compassion for all those things I once judged. I pray you continue to strengthen me through all of my pain, as you finish shaping me into the very image You’ve always planned I’d become.

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

“A powerful shift happens when I pray for someone. I start to see that person in relationship to God instead of in relationship to me. Instead of seeing how he annoys me or how she makes me jealous, I see how God loves them.” (Liz Ditty)

 There have been a number of people over the years who really upset me for a number of reasons. Some were friends and some weren’t and I spent many-a-day getting caught up in negative thoughts about them, almost to the point where I was wishing bad things might befall them. The only good that did though was keep me in a negative state more than not, where I struggled to see any one of them in any type of positive light. One day someone gently suggested that I might want to start praying for all those that bothered me. I initially shuddered at the thought, asking myself why I’d ever want to pray for someone that I was upset with. Although, when I began to truly see how ugly my personality had become through all my negativity and judgments of others, I decided to give it a whirl. It was then I opted to pray that the four characteristics I end each of these blogs with, “peace, love, light, and joy”, enter the lives of all those my ego was perturbed with. At first, it felt like a fruitless exercise, that is until I noticed my perception of them began to shift to one that was filled with more love and compassion. Nowadays, I make it regular practice to immediately pray for anyone I find myself having any sort of negative thoughts about. I pray to see them in God’s light, in a more positive way, and always end those prayers by sending them blessings. Doing so has ultimately helped me become a far less judgmental individual and a far more unconditionally loving being.

Dear God, the next time I find myself becoming consumed with negative thoughts about someone, please help me remember how important it is to pray for that person, as I know in doing so, I’ll be able to see far more of You in them, and far less of my ego’s opinion of them.

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

“Love grows where trust is laid, and love dies where trust is betrayed.” (Tigress Luv)

I’ve been in a number of relationships in my life and have seen how love can truly grow to exponential proportions in them, yet I’ve also seen how love can quickly wither out and die in them as well. While there’s any number of things that can help cultivate love in a partnership, the one sure way to extinguish it is by committing an act of infidelity.

With just a few clicks of a mouse or a few swipes on a phone, it’s incredibly easy to commit an act of infidelity these days. Sadly, there are countless people on the internet now who are readily available for a sexual hook-up at pretty much any time of the day or night, whether that’s for money or for free. And for those who feel like they aren’t getting any sex in their relationship, or those who are battling some type of sexual addiction, or those who simply want to feel like they are still attractive in life, or those who are feeling down for any other reason and seeking some type of a quick pick-me-upper, a sexual hook-up is often what their mind tries to convince them they need. Yet, it’s an itch that will never fully go away by scratching it with any act of infidelity, as doing so only creates an even bigger itch. But even worse than that is with each act of infidelity, comes an act of betrayal, with each act of betrayal, comes an ever-increasing level of dishonesty, and as that level of dishonesty continues to grow, it slowly erodes any true love that once connected their partner and them together.

I have lived on both sides of this coin, being both the pursuer and the one pursued while in a relationship and learned the hard way that true love can never be sustained like this. In the long run, it always destroyed the relationship, yet it wasn’t until I learned what it felt like being on the receiving end of an act of infidelity with someone I deeply loved and was fully monogamous with, did I realize how painful it was on the heart.

Nevertheless, if a person chooses to commit an act of infidelity while in a relationship with someone they say they love, it’s not true love at all, not even close. Because true love grows where trust is laid, and true love dies where trust is betrayed. It’s that simple and I thank God I learned that lesson.

Dear God, I pray that I may always remain faithful and monogamous to my partner, no matter how difficult things may get at times between us or how empty I may ever feel inside as well. Thanks to You, I discovered that true love can only be nurtured by remaining fully faithful, honest, and trustworthy, which are three qualities I definitely want to keep.

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson