Category: Daily Reflection

“Age is only a number we count until we’re old enough to know it doesn’t count.” (Katrina Mayer)

I’ve always heard that age is nothing but a number. But, in just under a year from now, I’ll be the big 5-0, which presently, I find myself getting particularly bothered by, especially when my partner Chris jokes about it with me or with others we’re spending time with. Why does this bother me so much when age probably really is nothing but a number? Because at almost 50, I feel like I haven’t accomplished much in this life other than getting clean and sober from alcohol, drugs, and cigarettes 26 years ago.

While I know that sober specific achievement is nothing to balk at and something I continue to be thankful to God for, I honestly believe my issue with my age is really because I’m not happy with me right now. I tend to believe that the greater the happiness a person has within themselves, the greater the acceptance they will have with all their circumstances of life, including their age. Unfortunately, I haven’t been able to find that within ever since all my major health issues began back in April of 2010. Prior to that, when I was able to be far more active in my life in plenty of ways, I definitely felt happiness within. But with each passing year since I was 39, I have done my best just to survive through a number of mind and body health issues, each making it so very difficult to see the looming 5-0 with anything but dread. While I have no problem accepting anyone else’s age with grace and unconditional love, and even find great appreciation and attraction in those far older than I, I can’t seem to get there within myself. That has become all the more apparent since turning 49 a few weeks ago. Maybe this is that mid-life crisis people always talk about when they reach this age? I’m not sure, but I had a lot of dreams for where I wanted my life to be at by the time I reached 50. Sadly, those dreams feel so far away presently, as all my energy continues to go into just coping with my health limitations and doing the best I can to make it through each day. Frankly, I know if I could just find peace and joy within regardless of my health or any circumstances of life, it wouldn’t matter whether I was 49, 50, 61, or 80.

In my soul, I ultimately know what matters isn’t my age at all, or how I look, or even with any of my life’s achievements. I think what truly matters is just being a good person, a loving person, a caring person, a kind person, a giving person, and well I think you get the point. Except, I’ve struggled with them all the more my mind and body is plagued with one health issue after another. Because of that, anger has often got the best of me lately, something I’ve been disappointed within myself, which is working directly against the very thing I want, that being to accept whatever age I’m at.

It really is ironic how I can look at someone else far older than I, who feels the same way as I do about their age, and offer them the very compassion and love they are struggling to offer themselves, yet I can’t seem to offer that to myself! I know all of this is my ego working against me, something I’ve seen quite a bit of in my writing as of late. While deep down, I know age truly is nothing but a number and that it doesn’t matter in the overall grand scheme of life how old any of us are. I just pray for that part of me to overcome my ego that continues to tell me the lie that I’m a failure at almost 50.

Dear God, I know that age is nothing but a number, especially to You. Please help me find peace and joy within, no matter what my circumstances in life are or will ever be, as I know in doing so, I won’t be dreading turning the big 5-0, or any other age for that matter.

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

“The people who are trying to force you to be circumcised are the ones who want to show off and boast about external matters. They do it, however, only so that they may not be persecuted for the cross of Christ. Even those who practice circumcision do not obey the Law; they want you to be circumcised so that they can boast that you submitted to this physical ceremony.” (Galatians 6:12-13)

How many have you ever known in life who try to “save” someone, who have this agenda of getting someone to become a Christian, but yet at the same time, do many things that contradict much of the very religion they are trying to “save” someone into?

Today’s Daily Reflection’s passage is one that speaks to this very thing, but from long ago in Apostle Paul’s time. In this Galatians passage, Paul’s referring to the many who were so intent in his time on getting a person circumcised for them to become Jewish and then proudly sharing that with everyone when they did, solely to boast of their success, even when many of them weren’t even following the very laws of their religion they were converting people into.

As I’ve stated plenty of times already in my life, this is why I don’t label myself a Christian, because I will never match up to its laws, rules, and practices that are laid forth in the Bible. It’s why I never try to “save” anyone either, because frankly, I need “saving” myself and work on that daily with God directly for Him to guide me in His own way. I honestly believe people are meant to find their own individual paths with God, paths that allow God to speak to them in unique ways, but not paths that are shoved onto them through fear or force, which is often how the practice of “saving” comes across.

I’ve known of many Christians in my life who do this, who try to force their religious views upon another, often through fear, and especially to those who aren’t of any religious background. They try so hard to get a person to see their ways and hope that they’ll get them to become a Christian, and when they do, they tend to share that achievement with everyone, feeling so good about themselves. You know what all that really is. It’s ego and nothing more.

I learned on my spiritual walk with God how important it is to move away from ego and become humble, and to demonstrate that by often putting myself and my needs second and another’s first. When I’ve done that, I find I’m able to emanate more of what I wish to become in life, that being a man of peace, love, light, and joy, and each time I have, it seems as if people have naturally gravitated to me and wanted to know more about my spiritual walk, which is ultimately how I think God wants people to get to know Him. But trying to get people to know God by “saving” them tends to become an action more of the mind than of the Spirit and places the focus more on the “saver” than the “savee”.

I just wish people would let God talk to them in God’s own awesome ways. Because God really does have an infinite number of ways for each and every individual on this planet to connect to Him. But trying to force one’s religion and views upon another, in an attempt to “save” them, I think is the very reason why so many continue to fall away from God these days. Maybe it’s time we all start practicing a lot more humility on our spiritual paths by letting everyone find their own path to God, rather than shoving our own paths upon them. Maybe in doing so, more will start finding the true light of God within them, as then the world will become far more filled with peace, love, light, and joy.

Dear God, may I never force upon anyone the things I’ve learned on my spiritual path with You. May I instead work on becoming more and more humble each and every day in the hopes I too will one day embody the peace, light, light, and joy, I see in You.

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

“Every moment of your life and everything happening around you is the result of some past karma.” (Gurudev Sri Sri Ravi Shankar)

I should know by now that karma always comes back around at some point. Sometimes it happens quite quickly and sometimes it takes a while to manifest. But, it always does rear its face at some point, as it did for me recently. For those who don’t know what karma is, it’s a term used to describe the principle of cause and effect, where the action of a person in one moment directly influences what they’ll receive in future moments. (I.E. Good intent and good deeds bring good karma and bad intent and bad deeds lead to bad karma.)

I do my best to generate good karma in my life by remaining honest, accountable, and kind, but I do fail at that at times with this, as I did recently when my rental car door I was temporarily in for a few weeks flew open one day while in a parking lot, when it caught a huge gust of wind. The result was the edge of it hitting the car next to me, leaving a nice white scuff down their passenger door. I tried to rub all of it off and was only partially successful. I looked over the rest of their car and saw noticeable scuffs elsewhere, so I justified I didn’t need to do anything and left. A week later, I picked up my car after the warrantied repair was complete and was super happy because it looked quite new now on the outside, as there were no longer any visible dents, rust, big scratches or dings anywhere anymore. The next day day though, after parking my car in a local shopping center where I went into a restaurant for dinner, I discovered when leaving there, several big scratches were now on my rear bumper. It was apparent someone had backed into it just enough to have their license plate scratch it pretty well. The first thought I had after seeing it was this was karma playing itself out.

When things like this happen, I often find myself wondering if my long gestation of physical pain and ailments I’ve battled and endured over the past decade of my life is also a result of past karma. The number of people I’ve hurt through many addictions in both my words and actions is countless if I include both this life and several of my previous ones. But, the thought of that even being true is actually quite comforting, because maybe there is a reason for all this pain, that eventually it will restore balance to all the imbalance I created in this world.

Regardless, I believe karma is a real thing and have a number of examples from my life that can support that belief. So, I’m thankful at least for the reminder of karma with my vehicle’s less than perfect look now and pray I’ll handle it far better the next time something like this happens.

Dear God, thank you for helping me to remain accountable for all my actions in life, no matter how big or small they are, or how positive or negative they are, through karma and the lessons it continues to provide me.

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson