Category: God’s Mysterious Ways

Sometimes I find it truly amazing on how my Higher Power will guide me in the least suspecting way to affect the most incredible change in someone else.

A few nights ago I was supposed to go speak about my recovery from alcoholism and drug addiction at a local prison. When I didn’t receive final confirmation from a friend who was coordinating it, I ended up having the evening free. Something inside me though kept telling me I still needed to get to an Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) meeting that night. As I opened an online webpage that listed all the local meetings by day to figure out which one I should attend, there must have been close to 200 to choose from. After some careful consideration, I chose a beginner’s meeting that was several towns away and also one I had never been to before. A few hours later, life got kind of interesting for me.

It’s important to note for the purpose of telling this story that the location of this meeting was on a very large property for a monastery. As I drove around that property for a while, the only clue I had to where this meeting was being held was the word “Lodge”. When I finally discovered it, I saw that a dark van had followed me the entire time I was looking for it. It was then that I noticed this lodge was dark and its parking lot was empty. I got out of my car feeling slightly frustrated and approached the van guessing its driver was there for the same reason. When it’s window opened, the driver quickly confirmed that suspicion. But it was who he looked like, how long he had been sober, and his actual name that made me believe I was meant to be there in that moment, and that all of it was a spiritual test for me.

I’m convinced that God allows us to be tested from time to time for the sole purpose of seeing whether we’ve learned various spiritual lessons in life. In fact, I’m just as convinced that life is all about learning a series of them by going through one situation after another until we do. So as I stood there talking to this van’s driver, I noticed how much he resembled the last person I had become toxically obsessed with and attached to several years ago in AA when my sexual addiction had the best of me. Even more ironic was when he told me he only had about a week of sobriety. But most ironic was when he told me his name, as it was the same name as that last person I had sexually chased after and almost ended my life over.

When I realized all of this, half of me wanted to run away and the other half wanted to prove to myself how much I had spiritually grown over the past few years. Thankfully, I chose the latter and managed to eventually gain access into the building where two others joined us who were also looking for that same meeting. We found out that the beginner’s meeting was no longer being held on the property, but that the regular meeting still was. Except that meeting wasn’t scheduled to begin for another hour and half. So we all decided to hold our own beginner’s meeting by sharing our experience, strength, and hope with each other. When it came time for me to share, I did as I always do these days, I talked about my spiritually and how I’ve gone from completely hating to completely loving God through my recovery from addiction.

By the end of that evening when it came time for me to leave, that van’s driver told me how much he learned from me that night. He said I had a way of talking about God that helped him see things so much more clearly than ever before. I told him to give God that credit for changing my life so greatly because it was solely God who guided me there. When I drove away that night, I knew I had passed some type of spiritual test because I could feel a sense of peace within. Three years ago, I couldn’t say the same. Back then, I was pursuing newcomers like a predator because of an untreated sexual addiction instead of helping lead them into a life of sobriety and God.

Through God all things really are possible and I guess everything does happen for a reason. I know both of those statements sound so cliché, but God truly worked in mysterious ways the other night, not only in my life, but also that man’s. God showed me how much freer I am from addiction than I ever thought I could be. But even more importantly, by moving away from a life once filled with so much self-will, God showed me how I can truly help a newcomer find their own path to recovery.

Thank you God for continuing to light my way…

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson

Have you ever had one of those days where you woke up and just felt like putting the covers over your head and not going anywhere for the rest of the day? Unfortunately, with the level of physical pain I am currently having to endure, I often experience days like that. But on some of them, God seems to work in strange ways to keep me going on this path of healing and recovery from the toxic life I once lived.

A few days ago, I awoke with such a severity of bodily pain that I spent that entire morning and a good part of the afternoon in incredible anguish and despair. Even after doing my normal spiritual maintenance routines, I felt no better. After a lengthy conversation with my spiritual teacher, I was given a few exercises to try that she hoped might help reduce some of the pain levels I was going through that day. One of which dealt with communicating to my parents through prayer (given they were no longer alive) and letting them know I wouldn’t accept anymore the low vibration patterns of living and behaviors they passed onto me. The other homework assignment was simply just to do some deep breath work in silence.

While both seemed to help reduce some of that anguish, especially with the tears that came up in my conversation with my parents, I still felt like Gloomy Gus and decided to get out of the house. I went first to a local coffee shop where I got myself something to drink and worked on my blog site. Upon leaving, I had already decided to go to a random local meeting that I had never been to before. While I was walking to my car, two young gentlemen at a table propped outside asked if I would help them with a donation to the drug and alcohol rehabilitation program they were part of. I gave them my support without hesitation and took a few minutes to tell them that I was actually heading to an AA meeting myself having been in recovery for eighteen years now.

By the time I got into my car, I already noticed I was feeling a slight bit better emotionally. Once I got to the meeting, I introduced myself to a few people that were already there and found myself a seat. When the coffee was ready, I approached the table where it was at and grabbed myself a cup of decaf. A nice woman introduced herself to me as the coffee maker and asked if I was new to AA. I promptly responded to her that I had been around for a while having just celebrated my 18^th year of sobriety but that I was new to her meeting. What happened next I could only say must be God.

She shyly asked if I was willing to lead the meeting for that day because she had not found a speaker. My first sponsor always told me to never turn down a request such as that because it may be God working in my life, so I didn’t. And just over an hour later, after I had shared my journey to recovery and listened to all the people who had raised their hands during the open discussion, I felt amazingly better, as compared to how I started the day. Many people in that meeting room had approached me after it had ended to let me know how much they had connected to my story and thanked me for showing up and giving them my service. Some said it was exactly what they needed to hear with what was going on in their life lately.

Between my conversation with those two young gentlemen who were just beginning their journey of recovery and my being asked to lead a meeting I had never been to before, my attitude had completely changed for the better. While the level of my physical pain may not have reduced from both of those things, I had developed an attitude of gratitude which hadn’t been present for most of the day up until then.

Often I don’t truly understand much of what is going on in my life lately with all these levels of pain I continue to go through on most days. But there is one thing I do understand, and that is sometimes God has mysterious ways of helping us to keep going, especially when we think we’re down and out for the count. I’m grateful for each of those mysterious ways when they happen and will continue to do my best to realize that God may not be helping me in the way I think I should be helped, but God sure is helping me in the way I probably need to be helped.

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson