Category: Grateful Heart Monday

Welcome to another entry of Grateful Heart Monday, where gratitude remains my sole focus of my writing, which for today is for my friend Lee’s recent visit to see me for a few days over 2021’s Halloween weekend.

My friend Lee and I go way back to the years when I once lived in the Washington, D.C. area. We used to bowl in a league there together and were also part of a very fun board games group that met once a month. Over the past 10 years, I’ve only gotten to see Lee for a friend’s funeral in 2018 and a few hours for dinner and coffee on a recent trip to DC. I truly miss him and my other close friends from the DC area and wish it was easier to see them more regularly. Nevertheless, when Lee said he was open to visiting me here in Toledo, I was ecstatic, not only because I haven’t been able to spend much time with him over the years, but also because most of my long-distance friends aren’t very keen on visiting this area. I often think if I lived in a place like Tampa or some other city with lots to do, that I’d probably have more of my friend’s visit. So, my first piece of gratitude is for Lee’s visit coming to fruition.

The second piece really deals with all the things we experienced together during Lee’s visit that I wanted to recap in today’s Grateful Heart Monday, as this blog is as much of a diary of my life as it is a daily column for the world to read too.

I’m truly thankful for the time Lee and I spent in Detroit’s Greektown with dinner at the Golden Fleece and getting pastries from Astoria Bakery, for the dinner we had at the Public House in Monroe and seeing the new film Last Night In Soho, which was phenomenal, for a day trip we took to Crane Creek State Park and Marblehead Light House, where the waves were close to 10 feet on Lake Erie, for lunch in Marblehead at The Galley, where our waitress there Beth was so kind, even though she had lost her husband a few weeks prior, for the hug she and I shared where I felt God’s presence, for the many coffees we had at a number of Starbucks, for the day trip we took to Frankenmuth, which is an authentic German village where we shopped at Bronner’s (the world’s largest Christmas store), had an early dinner at Zehnder’s, shopped in some local stores including my two favorites (the country store with penny candy and the mammoth cheese shop), for a lunch we had at Tony Packo’s, for Lee getting to meet a few of my friends here including Tony and Jym, for a few good scares we shared on Halloween night watching the new Paranormal Activity movie on Paramount Plus,, and for receiving Lee’s kindness and gentleness through it all, a trait he’s always carried from the very first day I met him.

I’m truly grateful to you Lee, for being my friend for over 20 years now and for coming to visit me here in Toledo over Halloween weekend 2021, which is why I’ve dedicated today’s Grateful Heart Monday to you.

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Welcome to another entry in gratitude on this Grateful Heart Monday! Today’s piece is dedicated to the wonderful reminders I’ve had over the past year of why I don’t drink or take drugs anymore in life.

Every year when my annual sober milestone date passes by, I write an article in gratitude surrounding the occasion. Yet, after a recent episode where I spent a short period of time with several overly drunk individuals, I really found myself being overly grateful why I continue to remain clean and sober from alcohol and drugs for as long as I have. I decided I was so grateful about it that I wanted to write another piece of gratitude on it.

All of this emanated from stopping by a friend’s house recently who was entertaining a few guests. There I witnessed behaviors I once did myself long ago during my addiction days. One individual at this house approached me and asked me in a drunken stupor if I smoked weed. After that, he walked around the house flirting with everyone and doing his best to be the center of attention. I watched another leave for a bit and go drive under the influence, then return as if there were no concern for doing such a thing. Seeing both of these behaviors brought back into mind another recent episode where I was confronted by a drunk/high individual who was so out of his mind, he threatened to hurt me just for saying hi to him. Not too long before that I was also the recipient of one of those “I love you so much!” drunken statements. And of course, I shouldn’t forget to mention the act of violence I saw from someone under the influence when they threw a candle at another’s vehicle because of how angry they were. But honestly, I can’t judge any of those actions because I once did all of them and worse.

When a newer friend in my life who really doesn’t know my past addiction behaviors repeatedly started offering me alcohol over subsequent visits, I finally got honest on my last visit and laid it out to him as raw as I could. I told him that if I drank again, that the drink he was offering would lead me to cheat on my partner, lose my sobriety, feel shame about it, so much so that I’d probably attempt to take my life, I then asked if that was worth it to him to keep offering me a drink. He finally understood got the point.

The fact is, I don’t ever want to drink any alcohol or consume any drugs in this body again. I’m a sick addict who’s truly in a good recovering place in life these days and I’m extremely grateful for that. I’m even more grateful for these reminders I continue to get in this Toledo neck of the woods that help me quickly flash back to the alcoholic and addict life I once lived.

I don’t miss those days where I consistently walked around in drunken stupors, saying stupid things, acting stupid in general, and always landing myself in some sort of trouble. I’m truly grateful to be free of a disease that I know would have taken my life eventually if I had remained on that path.

So, I’m thankful for all the drunken and high individuals that continue to cross my path, who always remind me each time they do, why I gave the consumption of alcohol and drugs up long ago. I dedicate today’s Grateful Heart for each of them, as they truly do help me remain on my clean and sober path, one I pray to never step off of ever again…

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Welcome to another Grateful Heart Monday. It is said having a grateful heart can help shift one’s energy to that of feeling bliss and joy, which is why I continue to practice this daily in my grateful journal, as well as in this blog, by writing weekly about a piece of it from my life. That being said, today’s piece of gratitude is dedicated to a recent visit here in Toledo from my dear friend Dexter, a person I never thought I’d ever see in person again.

To put it bluntly, I once broke Dexter’s heart by leading him on and using him for my own gain. I was spiritually broken and sick at the time and did that to him, as well as many others back then. It wasn’t until I went into a 12 Step recovery program (SLAA) to address this. There I saw how toxic I had become. That was 2011, which was also the last year I saw Dexter.

We had visited the Outer Banks together back then with a few of his close friends. The trip was mostly a disaster all because of how I was acting. I was very deep in a love addiction with a married individual at the time and had no idea just how much I was hurting Dexter in the process. Yet, Dexter being the guy he always has been, loved me anyway, until the pain became too great in his heart because of how I was treating him.

Ten years have gone by ever since then. I’m amazed at how fast time flies sometimes, as it seems like just yesterday that I was at the beach with Dexter in the Outer Banks. Sometimes I wish I could back to then and treat him the way he deserved. Over the past ten years, I’ve worked hard to gain his friendship and his trust back. While he’s forgiven me, he was never willing to come visit, because the pain in his heart remained. I honestly thought I’d never see him again and was always going to be limited to phone and video calls. I was even grateful for those, so when Dexter agreed to come visit me here in Toledo and meet my partner Chris, I was ecstatic. All the way up to the day of Dexter’s flight, I can honestly say I wondered if he was going to follow through with the trip. After all, the pain I caused him was immense and I know how difficult it was going to be for him to see me with Chris given the feelings he once had for me.

I consider myself blessed that Dexter got on his flight that day and followed through on a promise he made to himself to come see me again. Seeing him 10 years later, giving him a hug, and spending quality time here in Toledo reconnecting has been so important to me. I think Dexter and I will always have a heart connection and I pray to never hurt that again in any way, shape, or form. Breaking bread with him here, sharing coffee, laughter, visiting a museum, watching TV shows and movies, and just sharing a few days of his life in person with him was the best gift I could have ever received from a guy who has worn his heart on his sleeve from the day I first met him.

I’m grateful to you Dexter that you took time out of your busy life, braved your heart, and spent time with me again. My gratitude is immense over this, both to you and to God for making this happen. I may never be able to erase the pain I caused you all those years ago, but I can at least say today, you are an amazing man who shines brightly in his own unique way, and I’m blessed to remain a part of that and still walking part of my spiritual journey in life with you, both from afar and in person. Thank you for this trip, Dexter, it meant the world to me.

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson