Category: Grateful Heart Monday

Welcome to another Grateful Heart Monday, where gratitude is the only focus of my writing at the start of every week, which for today is for solo summer 2021 trip I am just completing now as I write this.

Parting truly is such sweet sorrow as they say, as my heart is feeling very sad right now sitting here in the airport waiting to return home. Yet, I am still filled with immense gratitude for this past week that I got to spend with my dearest and closest friend Cedric here in Massachusetts.

Any visit to Massachusetts tends to bring up plenty of memories, both positive and negative, given the seven-plus years I spent here both in addiction and recovery. But, if there is one thing that I felt very blessed by on my return trip here after 7 years of not living here is knowing this is where the true foundation of my work in the 12 Steps began. It’s precisely why I made sure to get at least one volunteer commitment in at a sober house (The Gilly House in Wrentham) and attend at least one AA meeting (Annisquam Sunday Night 7pm Library Meeting in Gloucester). Both quickly rejuvenated my love for recovery work and my still being clean and sober from alcohol and drugs for over 26 years now.

Beyond my dedication to my recovery from addiction that travels with me even on vacations, there are a number of highlights from this trip away that I am truly blessed by. I already mentioned two of them in my article from a few days ago where I was able to complete a 14-mile bike ride and a 4.5-mile walk during my vacation getaway. There was also a trip to Block Island with my dear friend Sean Slater that included a beautiful hour-long ferry ride, a several-hour moped ride around the island to see the two amazing lighthouses there, a dinner at The Harbor Grill & Orchid Lounge, and some homemade ice cream (Aldo’s Bakery) before we departed. Add in a dinner at the Cheesecake Factory in Braintree with my dear friend Debbie Coon, several walks on various beaches, quick dips in the chilly, yet exceptionally clear New England ocean waters, seeing The Fast and the Furious (Part 9!) in Imax in Danvers, a very lavish Greek wedding between two friends of Cedric and I (Megan and Tim) that began at an extremely beautiful church (Assumption of the Virgin Mary Greek Orthodox Church in Ipswich and ended at an extremely lively reception (The Mansion at the Hellenic Center in Ipswich), evenings spent on our motel balcony (Atlantis Oceanfront Inn in Gloucester), great meals (Not Your Average Joe’s in Peabody, and Two Sisters Café, Sebastian’s Pizza, and The Causeway, all in Gloucester), homemade almond joy ice cream (White Farms Ice Cream on the Causeway), plenty of cold brew from Starbucks (LOL!), making a rock totem on the ocean cliffside, visiting several lighthouses in Gloucester, and countless moments of uncontrollable laughter that always seems to happen whenever Cedric and I get together including crashing my bike into his and looking like a turtle trying to get up off the ground after, him spilling coffee all over himself and smelling his hands constantly afterwards, and constantly playing our Mr. Forgetful game (you have to ask)).

While the trip had many moments of frustration due to increased health issues for me, I’m choosing to far more grateful for all these positive things that happened, especially the amazing weather that God blessed us with the entire trip away. I can’t believe the vacation is over, as seven days away really flew by, but I look forward to the next one that will come in October when I get to see Cedric again.

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Welcome to another Grateful Heart Monday, where gratitude is the sole focus in my writing at the start of each week, which for today is for having the gifts of public speaking and writing, two things that really seem to come naturally to me now, but didn’t always.

There once was a time in my life where I truly despised doing any type of public speaking, mostly because I was so afraid to get up in front of others who were going to be staring at me so intently. The first time I ever had to do so was in an elementary school play where I had only one line I was meant to say. What I was supposed to say was, “I’ll save you Pocahontas!” But, what I said instead was, “I’ll save you Princess Leia!” Why I said that, I have no idea. All I can remember after saying it though was the hundreds of parents and kids there roaring in laughter at my mistake and me running off the stage in shame. It wasn’t until college did I finally opt to take an elective course in public speaking to overcome the fear I had of ever making such a mistake again in front of others. That public speaking class saved my life. The curriculum started off slow with very minor speaking activities at a podium in front of the class. But, the final “paper” in that class was to speak for an hour on a topic of our choosing! The topic I chose was about my father and his alcoholism. Little did I know then that this would help me many years later to share my own story of alcoholism in front of others and once I did, it became easier for each subsequent outing. It really is true that the more one does something, the easier it becomes, because the more I’ve spoken in the rooms of recovery from addiction, the more I’ve been able to cultivate the craft and the less those sweaty palms, a racing heart, and anxiety were present. Now I speak confidently in front of others and have received plenty of positive feedback after each time over the years. Whether it’s been with nursing students, inmates, fraternity or sorority members, detoxing individuals, people at 12 Step meetings, and more, I always look forward to all my speaking engagements now. Gone are those days where I had to picture everyone in attendance in clown costumes or naked to overcome my fears of public speaking, of which I’m so grateful for. As for writing, well that craft took much longer to develop and come to love.

Growing up and well into my adulthood, I only ever wrote anything if it was required, which was either in an educational class, with a therapist, in a Bible study, or on a retreat. Honestly, I hated writing, especially if it was by hand, as my handwriting has always been pretty atrocious! In 2005 though, when I went away on a silent retreat for 10 days in the mountains of West Virginia, I was really inspired to write about the whole experience once it was over. It was a very cathartic exercise and one I thoroughly enjoyed doing. Not too long after, a friend was very much interested in hearing about the retreat so I told him I’d be honored if he read the essay I wrote about it. He loved it so much, he asked if I’d be interested in condensing it into an article for the local newspaper in the town where I was living at the time, of which he was already a writer for. I obliged and not too long after, I too would become a regular writer for this paper under the tagline “Words To Live By” where I’d share motivational stories from my life in about 700 words or less. It was such a success that readers began to reach out to me personally, further motivating me to continue the practice. Where my writing really started to become a true craft for me wasn’t until a spiritual teacher suggested I start a blog. That came after a number of years I took off from writing and she merely wanted me to get back into it, suggesting it would be useful for my healing and my future. This is how this blog, “TheTwelfthStep”, got started and has become an incredible outlet of expression for both the positive and negative aspects of my spiritual journey in life. Over the years I’ve maintained this blog, I’ve found a number of new and unique ways to express myself and the better my words have been able to connect with others in the world, which has brought me great pleasure and immense gratitude.

So, I guess you can say that on some level, the two things I once hated the most in my younger years, public speaking and writing, have now become the two things I enjoy doing the most and perform the best with in life. And for that, I’m truly grateful on this Grateful Heart Monday!

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Welcome to this week’s Grateful Heart Monday entry, where gratitude remains my only focus at the start of each week’s writing, which for today is for my recent trip to Saugatuck, Michigan for four nights and three days, where I actually experienced a few things I haven’t in a very long time.

First off, I want to say I’m grateful for even taking a small vacation, given I haven’t had one in almost a year due to the pandemic, which had made travel very undesirable. But, beyond that, Saugatuck, which is often said to be the Provincetown of the Midwest, was a place I had on my Midwest bucket list of places to see since moving to this part of the country, so I was grateful to finally get to visit it. Nestled midway up the shores of Lake Michigan, Saugatuck is an artsy-type of community where many LGBTQ come for beach getaways. My partner Chris and I were really wanting one of those, hence the desire why we chose this small town to visit during our birthday week in June.

The first thing I was truly grateful for during this trip was the weather. It is true what they say around here in this Great Lakes region that the weather changes every five minutes. Prior to leaving for our trip, the weather forecast for Saugatuck went from sunny and mid low to mid 70’s, to cloudy and mid to high 80’s, to muggy rain-soaked thunderstorm-filled days. Ironically, it was all far better than what was predicted, as the weather ending up being sunnier than not, raining for only brief periods, and where I got to experience an occasional dense misty fog rolling off the sea, which I found very serene, especially when the sea always looked so calm afterwards.

Beyond the weather, one thing I also had immense gratitude for from this trip was how many lighthouses I got to see. I really have an affinity towards them ever since my last relationship and try to see them anytime I’m passing through any coastal area where one is there. On the way to Saugatuck, we started with Michigan City light and worked our way up the coastline seeing five different ones till we got to Saugatuck. The second day there, we headed north up to Mears, Michigan to Little Sable Light and worked our way down the coastline doing the same till we got back to Saugatuck, catching another five. I’m not exactly sure why I appreciate these structures as much as I do, but maybe it’s because they’ve withstood the test of time, enduring so many major storms, the seas constantly bashing against them, something I often feel is quite representative of my life. I felt that the most at Grand Haven Light, as rain pelted the long cement pier Chris and I walked out on to see the duel lights. But, maybe the one I appreciated the most was Holland Light, as just when I got there, an afternoon of rain finally parted, a fog was drifting away, and the sun was setting. It was incredibly beautiful and peaceful, something I felt quite a bit with Lake Michigan during this trip, especially when I tackled an athletic activity I hadn’t in well over a decade due to my health issues.

I used to do quite a bit of athletic activities prior to 2010, one of which was kayaking. When I saw the resort offered free use of them on Lake Michigan, I debated whether I could do it. Always one to rise to the challenge of battling my ego, I hopped in a kayak early one afternoon and pushed myself offshore, heading south along the coastline alone. I was so thankful I did because the perspective of Lake Michigan when out on its waters is far different than gazing out upon it. I was amazed at how much mother nature had eroded away the cliffside and destroyed its natural beaches. How many man-made stairways I saw that were swinging in the wind, having been destroyed in the past year were countless. As I paddled for a good mile or so, I really did experience a serenity I hadn’t in a long while, so much so, that I went back out the next day and traversed up the coastline instead. All in all, while I did have some soreness from the task after two days and several miles of doing it, I was extremely grateful I had pushed through my ego, as I enjoyed it immensely.

Something else I also pushed through on this trip that I hadn’t done since 2010 was ride a bike again. The resort also offered use of a number of three-speed bikes. Chris and I opted to bike one afternoon together for about an hour, going through the local neighborhood and seeing some pretty fantastic-looking beach houses and yards adorning the cliffside. At one point, when Chris decided to take a break, I pedaled on for a few more miles on my own, which for someone that has been more inactive physically over the past decade was a pretty significant achievement.

Lastly, I want to thank the resort itself where we stayed, as it really has just about every amenity one would want on a vacation getaway. The Lakeshore Resort, built originally in 1952 and been family-owned ever since, has been totally transformed over the years to an exceptional level. Besides the kayaks and bikes offered there, they have a gorgeous in-ground pool, multiple Adirondack-chair seating areas around the property, walking trails in the woods they own behind them, two firepits, seating on multiple levels on the cliffside, one of which is directly at the lake’s edge, free yoga instruction, and plenty of gardens and grounds that were perfectly manicured and well-maintained. Everyone on the property has a great view of the lake and the sunsets I got to see every day there were stunning. Oh, and for the coffee snob in me, they also use a local place called Uncommon Coffee Roasters that was pretty dam good! When I can spend two entire days doing nothing but lounging around the resort I’m staying at it’s definitely a place I’m enjoying staying at.

Nevertheless, I’m really grateful for all these many positive memories Chris and I created on this trip, including also the cards we played together poolside and at sunset, the places we dined at downtown and up in Holland, and last but not least, the mother deer and her just-born fawn we saw nursing underneath her on our last day there. So much gratitude from our short getaway and one I’ll most certainly never forget.

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson