Category: Grateful Heart Monday

Welcome to another chapter of Grateful Heart Monday, where gratitude is always expressed in my writing to kick each week off on a positive note, which for today is for my eight-year anniversary with my partner Chris.

This date last year, I was frankly surprised I had actually made the seven-year mark with him. At that time, it was the longest I had ever been with anyone monogamously. Surpassing that with yet another monogamous year is most definitely something to be grateful for.

Why is monogamy so important to me? Well, beyond the fact I struggled with addictions in this department, did you know that in heterosexual couplings it’s estimated at least 25% of them will either cheat or purposely establish an open relationship somewhere along the way? But, in homosexual couplings, it’s estimated to be more than 50% will either cheat or purposely establish an open relationship somewhere along the way. That percentage is proposed to be even higher, possibly over 75%, in some of the gay subcultures such as the bear and leather-based ones, ones that I have some history with, which is why I’m so grateful to have remained monogamous with Chris.

Have I been tempted? Absolutely. I think everyone gets tempted to stray from time to time. But, the reward of remaining monogamous has far outweighed all of what I experienced in past relationships where monogamy wasn’t present. The reward I’m speaking of totally equates to the depth of love I feel for Chris nowadays. Love for all we’ve been through, for all those things we’ve done together, the many places we’ve seen, the numerous trips we’ve taken, the countless moments we’ve poured our hearts out to each other, the plentiful personal spiritual growths we’ve accomplished side by side, the repeated support we’ve given each other through our health issues and recovery from addictions, and most importantly, for us both having the belief that God is been the backbone that’s made this all possible. I never had this much appreciation for any of those I was with in prior relationships mostly because I was so mentally and emotionally divested into a number of side relationships I always had going on that constantly led to the end of monogamy and the downfall of the relationship itself.

Beyond monogamy, I also am quite grateful for the silly banter and humor Chris and I have now after eight years together. We’re very playful, almost like kids at times, and that helps to keep the kid alive in each of us. In addition, we tend to finish each other’s sentences more than not now and seem to know what each other are thinking. But most importantly, we’ve remained dedicated to working through any problems that have arisen between us, as rarely has a full day ever gone by where we’ve remained angry at each other.

I truly believe Chris and I make a great couple and while we’ve both struggled at times with being overly selfish and self-centered in our actions, we’ve consistently strived to improve our relationship with each other and with ourselves through 12 Step recovery, therapy, MKP, and just straight up honest communication about everything.

Through all this, I’ve begun to realize that much of my own unhappiness I’ve complained about Chris to friends, isn’t really about Chris at all, or our relationship, or anything to do with any of the eight years we’ve been together. It’s a lot more about that restless, irritable, and discontent person in me who used to buy into the belief that those sappy romantic movies with all those happy endings is the way relationships are supposed to always be. That isn’t the way they are though. Relationships mirror life itself.

There are ups and downs and when those downs come around, it’s not about having sex or romantically getting entwined with someone else to cope with them. It’s about working through those downs with each other and remaining committed to each other in the process, because in doing so, the love only grows deeper. And for that, I’m most grateful to have stuck by Chris’s side for eight beautiful years now…

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Welcome to this week’s Grateful Heart Monday, a time dedicated for expressing gratitude for someone or something from my life I truly appreciate, which for today is for a friend named Lori Lefevre Johnson.

I’ve known Lori for about a year now and have had the privilege of getting to see her every week at the place my partner Chris and I attend on many Sunday mornings, that being Angels Landing Spiritual Center. There, I’ve always been greeted with a huge hug by her and enjoyed just how positive of a person she always seems to be. Much of that gets radiated through a gift Lori most assuredly has that I often wish I did too, which is an incredible singing ability.

Her voice is soothing and beautiful, much like her personality. Whenever she sings, I can always see the joy radiating from her soul as she gives her gift up to God in worship. There was one Sunday when I heard her and her daughter sing together, and if color could have expressed the joy I felt all around that room that day, it probably would have encompassed the entire spectrum! One time I also got to hear her sing some jazzy tunes in this neat little room in the Toledo Museum of Art that made her voice sound even more amazing!

Beyond her singing, I find that Lori is just one of those people who is so approachable and will carry on any type of conversation with you, no matter what the topic is. And she’ll do it with this level of grace, where she maintains eye contact making you feel in that moment as if you are the most important person to her in the world.

In my case, the one type of conversation Lori and I have quite often is about movies. We both are movie fanatics and tend to watch many of the same artsy and indie type of films. I really do appreciate having the ability to talk with her about all the movies I’ve seen, as it’s rare to find someone into them as much as I am! I very much enjoyed actually catching a movie (The Peanut Butter Falcon) one day with her last summer, along with a mutual friend David, who too is an avid film buff. We all had a fun time together and it was nice discussing it afterwards with the both of them.

Regrettably, I’ve only had the good fortune of spending one other time with her, that being over a coffee at a Starbucks for a few hours. Unfortunately, our schedules and free time have tended to be quite the opposite of each other. But in that one afternoon, sitting outside on that Starbucks patio, with the sunlight shining down brightly upon us, I felt her presence shining brightly upon me.

You see, Lori has that type of personality, that seems to light up the environment all around her wherever she is. That’s probably why she made such the incredible teacher I’ve been told she was, for all the years she taught before she finally chose to retire last year. I can imagine with the personality she has how many kids in her classes were most likely inspired and uplifted on a daily basis! I’m sure many of them to this day still have plenty of fond memories of her classes, even well into their adulthood.

Soulful, vibrant, warming, and welcoming to all, Lori is most definitely someone who deserves to be the recipient of this week’s Grateful Heart Monday!

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Welcome to another chapter of Grateful Heart Monday, where gratitude is always the focus, which for today is centered on the two new sister cats my partner Chris and I took in recently.

It seems as if I’ve become a big fan of cats over the past few years. First it was coming to unconditionally love and appreciate Chris’s female cat Driggs when I moved in with him back in February of 2014. She taught me a lot about loving those who many tend to struggle to love. When she passed from oral cancer in February of 2016, I missed her greatly and cried for weeks and weeks. In October of 2016, the Universe decided it was time to move on by bringing Smokey into my life. Smokey was a stray my sister found near a dumpster in Franklin, Tennessee. He and I became incredible pals from the start, constantly spending tons of time together. He followed me everywhere and taught me even more about unconditionally loving everyone and everything no matter what. I was devastated when a urinary complication suddenly took his life only three years later. I thought it was going to be a good long while after that before I’d feel ready to take in another cat. Yet, when my friend Lori sent me a link to one of her friend’s Facebook postings of two one-year old sister cats that had been rescued after being abandoned in the cold fall elements by their previous owners, I felt a strange compulsion to contact the person behind the posting. I was told they had been in pretty bad shape and were slowly being nursed back to health and I asked if we could do a meet-and-greet to see how they interacted with Chris and I.

So, during the middle of the busy Christmas shopping season, Chris and I met up with Ashley, the temporary owner, and the two Calicos. She had driven all the way from a small town near Cincinnati where she currently resides, to the Humane society in Bowling Green, a place she once worked at. It was difficult at first to interact with the cats, because I found myself really missing Smokey. But, I began to accept that even Smokey would want me to move on like I think anyone or anything who passes wants for those that once loved them. Two hours later, we opted to move ahead with the adoption, but chose to put it off until the end of January due to the holidays and upcoming travel plans. And then, about a month later, Ashley arrived at our home on the last Saturday in January with our new furbies, who we named Grace and Frankie. Yes, just like the Netflix show. And if you’ve watched that show, and met our cats, you’d see why we did that.

Grace is a domestic long-haired Calico who needs a lot of attention, often acts like a diva, and always tries to be the center of everything no matter what you’re doing. Frankie, on the other hand, is a domestic short-haired Calico who likes to do her own thing, acts an awful lot like a tomboy, and is quite regularly feisty. It’s funny how Grace reminds me so much of Smokey and the affection he showed me all the time, while Frankie reminds me of Driggs, a cat I once referred to as Cujo Kitty, that one day abruptly warmed up to me and showed me lots of love and affection, as long as it was under her control.

Nevertheless, I never once thought for the life of me that I’d be that “cat guy”, especially owning two of them at the same time. There hasn’t been a dull moment in our household yet since adopting Grace and Frankie. They like their space from each other, yet do play with each other at times as well, chasing each other up and down the hallway and throughout the house. Grace likes to talk to her toys when she plays with them, which is quite funny to watch, while Frankie likes to come up behind my head whenever I sit on the couch and lick and groom my head until she feels satisfied she’s done a good job. And I’m sure there will be plenty more interesting traits to enjoy as they settle permanently into our home.

Overall though, Grace and Frankie’s presence has brought some much-needed light back into our home, hope back into our hearts, and joy back into our lives, all of which being precisely why I’m filled with much gratitude to share for today’s Grateful Heart Monday…

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson