Category: Grateful Heart Monday

It’s Grateful Heart Monday, a time always dedicated to a single piece of gratitude from my life, which for today is for Jeremiah S., a sponsee who helped me to see that life shouldn’t be so black and white, especially when it comes to doing the 12 Steps.

I’ve sponsored in some fashion probably close to 100 individuals over the years since coming into the world of 12 Step recovery from addiction. I was taught how to do the steps by a woman named Lorraine many years ago and have ever since continued to teach this way to each of those individuals who’ve asked me to sponsor them. Unfortunately, I’ve also been a little too rigid in that process and have a number of times watched as sponsees moved on to other sponsors because of it. But then along came Jeremiah who walked into my life in somewhat of a strange way.

I had been asked by a friend if I was open to sponsoring someone at one point and said I really wasn’t because I had a full plate, but not too long after that, I had an opening because one of my sponsees went back out and decided that sobriety wasn’t for them. On a random evening shortly after that, I opted to go see a friend’s musical performance at a restaurant not too far from where I live. There, as I sat waiting to hear him play, I was introduced to a guy who too was also there to listen to the performance. He introduced himself as Jeremiah and somehow the topic of sobriety came up while we chatted. I came to learn he was actually looking for a sponsor and when I told him I was open to it, I found out that he was actually the one my other friend had been wondering if I had been open to sponsoring. I kind of saw this as God working in mysterious ways like God always seems to do in my life so I began the path of sponsoring Jeremiah pretty much from that moment forward.

One thing I came to learn pretty quickly about Jeremiah is that my style of sponsoring at times overwhelmed him, especially any time I attempted to push him through a piece of the 12 Step work. But, instead of totally quitting the step work, or ever moving on to someone else to help him, Jeremiah stuck by my side and continued to trudge through the steps, albeit at a pace that was much slower than my ego was used to. Upon reaching the 4^th Step, which is the step I like to say separates those who really want recovery and those who don’t, I watched as Jeremiah hit a wall, like so many individuals I’ve sponsored do.

The 4^th Step is one where a recovering individual takes a hard look in the mirror and finally sees all the damage they caused themselves and others from their life of addiction. Many don’t ever make it past this step and as month after month began to pass with Jeremiah taking a hard pause on this step, I thought that maybe it’d be best to not be his sponsor and move on to someone else who I thought would be push themselves more in the step work. I couldn’t even see my ego in that initially, but thankfully Jeremiah helped me to see it by finding a way to communicate it to me in a way I understood.

Over the course of just under a year, Jeremiah showed me that maybe I needed to become a little more flexible in the way I sponsor. He never stopped calling me every day, rarely missing one, consistently checking in, and slowly but surely, conquering little by little that Mt. Everest of a 4^th Step. I’m thankful to say he’s now fully past it and has moved quickly beyond by both finishing the 5^th and 6^th step work. As he and I stand at the 7^th step together now, I realize I’ve become quite proud of Jeremiah and thankful as well, for teaching me something with the 12 Step work that I never believed could happen. That no matter how much time one takes on any of the steps, so long as they continue to trudge forward sober, one day at a time, that it’s important to keep believing in them and their work, which I’m most certainly glad I did when it comes to Jeremiah. I see him so differently now from when I first met him and am blessed to see how dedicated he is to a number of things that includes his girlfriend, his job, his yoga, and of course his sobriety and recovery.

I don’t think I can be any prouder of him than I am and I’m truly grateful for how the student became a teacher to help me learn an extremely valuable lesson, one I’m not sure anyone else could have taught me. Maybe God knew that, so, thank you Jeremiah for coming into my life, for believing in me as your sponsor, and for proving that the path to recovery may not be so black and white.

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Welcome to another Grateful Heart Monday, a time to reflect upon something to be grateful for in my life, which for this week is for the time I got to spend with my sister Laura and my nephews Luke (7 years old) and Noah and Jacob (twin 17-year-olds) on a recent five-day trip to see them in Summerville, South Carolina.

If you read my last Daily Reflection, then you’ll already know how much my time is limited to be with my family. If you didn’t, just know that currently, my sister is able to come see me a few days a year where I live and I get to see her family a few days once a year there. Because of my reduced time to see them, I’ve often struggled with becoming resentful, so to combat that, I’ve learned that in practicing a little gratitude, it becomes a great remedy.

In light of that, I’m truly grateful I even got to see my sister and my nephews, each of whom I love dearly. I’m grateful for the special carrot cake cupcakes Laura made for my visit. Grateful for the home cooked meatball subs and salad she made during my first night there. Grateful for the manager (Eric) of the hotel I stayed at, who greatly reduced the rate of my room solely as a gift for the ongoing circumstances of my life. Grateful for a day trip into downtown Charleston with Laura where we enjoyed walking around the University of Charleston, King St, and finding a Parisian bakery where we relished homemade chocolate macaroons, a crème filled cronut and some dark chocolates to go. Grateful for the 50^th birthday dinner I took Laura to at her favorite restaurant, Oscar’s, and the delicious meal we had there, including the birthday dessert they brought her at the end. Grateful for the numerous coffees I sipped on at the Starbucks that was right next door sometimes with family and sometimes by myself. Grateful for the skit I got to see Luke in at his school. Grateful for the two swims I had at the hotel pool, one with Luke and Noah, and the other just with Luke and the laughter we shared horsing around during both. Grateful for the heart-to-heart talk my sister and I had on Friday evening where I felt I really connected to a part of her I hadn’t ever before. Grateful for the bunch of episodes I watched of this new Netflix show called Raising Dion with my nephews that we all liked quite a bit. Grateful for the scrumptious meal my sister bought me from a place called Boxcar Betties and the ice cream I treated her afterwards at a place called Marble Slab Creamery. Grateful for a day trip with Laura and Luke to Boone Hall Plantation for their Halloween festival where we got to experience a tractor pull through a festively decorated forest, a walk through a huge corn maze, a feeding of some silly goats, a stroll through a huge field of sunflowers, and the specialized picking of two cute pumpkins. Grateful for the huge laugh we all had there as well when my nephew sat at this mock ABC news desk (who were the sponsors of that festival) where he picked up a coffee cup left behind and did this silly pose with it, spilling cold coffee all over himself in the process. Grateful for the movie night I had with Jacob and Noah where we enjoyed sushi first, then tried this squishy Asian dessert that none of us really liked but had a good laugh about it, and then saw Gemini Man in 3D. And grateful for my final day there where I enjoyed a meal with Laura by the Mount Pleasant waterside, saw a porpoise, took a walk on Sullivan’s Island beach nearby where I got to put my feet in the still warm ocean, and treat myself to a freshly made donut at a place called The Fractured Prune on my way to the airport.

So, yes, most definitely plenty to be thankful for and an abundance of great memories to be remembered with my trip to see Laura, Luke, Jacob, and Noah, in Summerville, South Carolina, and for God who most certainly made it all possible.

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Welcome to this week’s Grateful Heart Monday, a time for always expressing a slice of gratitude, which for today is for something I have prayed for a long while for my partner’s journey that finally got answered.

My partner has been employed at his company for almost 2 ½ years now where there he’s been an extremely hard worker. Time and time again I know he has done his best to prove himself and on some level is a lot like me, an overachiever. Unfortunately, none of that was getting recognized when it came down to getting any sort of increase in pay. In all of his former places of employment though, his hard work consistently paid off where at year’s end he’d always get a raise.

I began seeing the frustration over this in his face every night when he came home from work starting back in the early Spring of this year, where he started saying he didn’t know how long he could keep this up without receiving some sort of performance increase. His company kept giving him more and more work because he kept getting it all done to a high level of quality, yet they continued to not show any signs of appreciation either, other than giving him a verbal “good job” here and there. In the long run, I can attest how that doesn’t really equate to anything, especially when other friends in similar positions at other companies doing the same type of work are getting recognized with good annual raises when you’re not.

Seeing that frustration in my partner led me to begin praying for him. Praying that God would help my partner receive an increase in compensation if it was in God’s will for him to get one. But I didn’t stop there, I instead chose to ask God for a specific amount, because I was always told to be specific in prayer and truthfully, I wanted to see if God was even listening to my prayers anymore. That being said, I began asking for Chris to get something that is normally unheard of in the workplace in regards to raises, that being one equivalent to 10%. I prayed for that amount every day for about the last three to four months. Then one day about a week ago, my partner came home with an incredibly huge smile and said he had some great news. It’s then he told me he got a raise and not a small raise, not a cost of living raise, but a 10% raise to be exact. He never asked for that, nor even knew I was praying for that precise amount!

In the end, my partner’s raise has made me grateful in two very distinct ways. One, he’s not very much motivated again at his job and two, because I know God is actually listening to my prayers, something I was really doubting as of late. So, thank you God for Chris’s raise and for continuing to be with me on my prayerful journey in life…

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson