Category: Grateful Heart Monday

Welcome to another Grateful Heart Monday, a reflective time for me to express some gratitude to start my week off on a positive note, which for today is for finally taking the time to migrate my stuff in storage to a much better location. While I know at first glance this probably doesn’t seem like that much of a big deal, that being a move from one storage facility to another, for me it most definitely was.

All this began back in 2013, as I prepared to move my life from Boston to Toledo. I knew I was going to need a storage unit for some of my personal belongings that wouldn’t be able to reside in my partner’s small home. I also knew I’d need it to be climate-controlled to keep a few of my collections safe from the weather extremes that tend to occur in this area. Unfortunately, there was only one place nearby that had climate-controlled back then, but thankfully a unit was available within it at the time. When I officially moved to Toledo in February of 2014, I filled the 10×10 climate-controlled unit I had secured with them almost to capacity. For $109 a month plus tax, my stuff would remain in that unit without seeing the light of day from then on forward. It simply became a receptacle to hold a part of my life for the unforeseeable future.

When my first-year anniversary arrived, along with it came a notice that my rent was going up by $5. The facility had already let me know about this initial increase when I first moved in, so I was ok with it. But little did I know that the rate would continue to increase every year after that as well, and not by a few dollars here and there either. In fact, every year when my anniversary rolled around again, I’d get another rental increase letter of at least $5.

After this happened for two subsequent years, I began calling them to discuss their ever-increasing rates. Sadly, I’d fail in each of my attempts to get them to lower the cost, but being that I was so overwhelmed with my health issues, I’d cave in and just accept the increase, begrudgingly. Yet, when I got that rate increase letter once again on this year’s anniversary, I was told the new cost of my unit was going to be just shy of $140 and finally had enough. Given that I had once stored a vehicle in a far larger storage unit in the greater Boston area for about the same price, I attempted to convince both the on-site manager, the regional manager, and even the head honcho who actually sets the pricing to reduce my rate. I even pointed out to them that I had been a loyal customer who has always paid on time and never had any issues. Unfortunately, none of that held any weight with them. So, I had a choice. Give in again and let it go for another year, or take a look around in the area to see if there were any other options. I opted for the latter and wouldn’t you know there were plenty of other climate-controlled locations now available. But even better, they all were asking for around $109 a month!

On a last-ditch effort to avoid the hassle of moving, I informed the regional manager of my discoveries, only to be told that there were plenty of other customers who would pay their prices, that a move would be more expensive than if I just remained there, and that I’d be missing out on the fact that they felt they were the best storage facility in the area. While I’m sure most people don’t move because of the hassle involved, I thankfully was smart enough to leave about a week later.

In the end, the move cost me about $80 overall, about three hours of my time, and the assistance of three others (Thank you Chris, David, and Les!). I was given a new customer rate of $95 to start and after mentioning to the managers of the new facility the yearly gouging I had endured, they promised my rate would only increase in the next few years by a dollar or two and that loyal customers actually meant something to them.

So, I have a lot to be grateful for when it comes to the move I just made from my original storage facility to this new one. Not only will I be saving over $450 a year now, and even more with each successive year, I can safely say their property is equal in quality to the previous one and maybe even slightly better. Honestly, I wish now I had looked into moving several years ago, as I would have definitely saved a few thousand dollars. Hind sight is 20/20 of course, but I have much gratitude for finally pushing myself to do the research, to discover I was being taken advantage of, and finding enough strength to actually make the move elsewhere, as I’m a much happier camper now because of it.

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

It’s the start of another week and with it, another Grateful Heart Monday to kicks things off, which for today I’d like to express my gratitude for my friend Judy, a University of Toledo nursing teacher.

About two years ago now, during my normal weekly volunteering at Rescue Crisis, I walked in to the room where I run a 12 Step recovery meeting for patients in need of one and noticed there were an unusually higher amount of people present. I could tell they all weren’t patients and as I was trying to figure out who they were, I was pleasantly greeted by a woman who introduced herself as Judy. She let me know she was a nursing instructor from the University of Toledo and then asked if I’d be ok if her students sat in on my recovery meeting that day. I was more than happy to accommodate, as providing this type of education to anyone who may be able to help others with it, is definitely something I’m always in support of. The result was quite positive and was the beginning of my exploring another whole avenue of 12 Step recovery work.

I often find in the recovery world, that by the time I meet people in need of the 12 Steps for an addiction, it’s typically years and years down the road where their disease has already taken a huge stronghold on them. In light of that, I’ve always had the desire to work much earlier on in people’s lives, where the addiction maybe hasn’t taken such a foothold yet, or even before it has started altogether. I’ve also had the desire to work with others who are in the front line of dealing with alcohol and drug addiction as well, who may not have the experience, strength, and hope to truly help someone in need. Thus, working with nursing students immediately became a blessing, as I saw the positive impact it had on them. For some, it was because of already having exposure to addiction within themselves or with family, friends, and loved ones. For others, it was helping them gain some necessary tools to guide a person to recovery when they eventually get to those front lines at their individual places of employment.

It’s been two years now that I’ve been working with Judy and her students and have probably spoken to well over a hundred of them by now. It’s definitely making a difference and has led to even greater opportunities for recovery work, as one of her students was so moved by my story that she asked me to speak to her sorority on campus, which in turn has slowly led to other Greek-based speaking opportunities on her campus as well. Being a former member of the Greek community myself, that being a Phi Kappa Psi brother, I’m extremely grateful for these opportunities, because it was during my college years that I went from being a casual drinker and recreational drug user to a full-blown alcoholic and drug addict. That’s why I’m grateful to be working with these students, as I’m planting seeds of recovery within each of them that will mature when they become needed.

So yes, I have an immense amount of appreciation and gratitude to Judy for leading to all this recovery work and for continuing to believe in me and my 12 Step program. She’s provided me an avenue for new recovery growth and I always look forward to each new semester when I get to meet the next set of students. And a nice bonus, something I didn’t expect either, was her thanking me just recently for all the help I’ve been providing her, by treating me to a nice dinner at a place called J. Alexanders.

But honestly, it really should me doing the thanking to her, for allowing me to have these recovery opportunities in the first place, as this work continues to provide me a reason to keep going in my recovery, a spiritual purpose if you may, which I’m so thankful for. To simply share my experience, strength, and hope of my journey from addiction to recovery with students the age of when I first succumbed to addiction, and students who will also one day be on the front lines of addiction, is indeed something I’m overly grateful for today.

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Welcome to another Grateful Heart Monday, where I bring light at the start of each week to something I’m truly thankful for, which for today is for being able to celebrate a seven-year anniversary of having a monogamous relationship with my partner Chris, something I thought I’d never achieve.

You see, relationships and me were never very simpatico before Chris. Staying with someone for any length of time prior to him was always accompanied by various acts of addiction and indiscretion. True monogamy on a physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual plane was never fully present for me and I had every excuse under the sun as to why, none of which I ever owned either.

Before Chris, the longest I was ever completely monogamous with anyone was about three years. While my last partner and I did reach our seven-year mark, we had broken up for extended periods during it and were never fully faithful to each other after them. Why my current relationship has been far healthier for me is directly related to two things, my spiritual thirst for a closer connection to God and my diligence to my 12 Step recovery work, neither of which ever mattered to me with any sort of regularity before Chris came along.

In fact, I used to think that every time a relationship started to go south that it was my partner’s fault, which I made sure to constantly blame it on rather than me. Believe me it’s pretty easy to do when the person you’re dating has glaring toxic behaviors that can be easily pointed out. But, when I finally began working on the 12 steps and focusing on my own spirituality, I quickly realized that much of my relationship woes were actually due to me.

My codependency, insecurity and abandonment issues often drove partners away or into unhealthy behaviors, but instead of focusing on changing those parts of me, I’d focus on what I felt was wrong with them instead, which only contributed to the relationship’s demise. Thank God I see this so clearly now, as I don’t think Chris and I would have made 7 years monogamously if I didn’t.

While we’ve had our ups and down over the years, there is definitely a spiritual bond shared between the two of us now that keeps getting stronger. We both are working on growing spiritually and have our own recovery programs as well, something that never existed in any of my previous relationships.

Honestly, I truly believe it takes a lot of work to remain in a long-term relationship and monogamous at that. And to place blame on the other partner for when things go astray, rather than look at oneself, is precisely why so many loving connections end up failing in the long run. Whenever tension hits the fan between Chris and I now, we both work to clear our side of the street and to see how we both had a part in it.

We really have grown incredibly in the past few years and frankly, I’m amazed at how much our relationship has changed for the better. With the recent addition of us finding a spiritual place to worship, I really feel the both of us are in it for the long haul now and I’m quite thankful for that, as I don’t believe any relationship can last without a spiritual bond.

A spiritual both that at seven years, I can truthfully say Chris and I still treasure our intimacy together, to laughing and joking together, to watching our regular tv shows together, to going to the movies together, to dining out together, to exploring nature together, and to experiencing plenty of other things together as well.

While our biggest challenge at this point is letting go of control at times, I have no doubt that we are at this very moment meant to still be together, celebrating this amazing achievement of seven years. Gratitude doesn’t even begin to describe how thankful I am to God for this. To look back at where Chris and I both were in the beginning and to see where we both are now, is truly a night and day difference.

So, as Chris and I begin our eighth year together, I find myself feeling so very thankful for finally being in a relationship where both partners continue to grow closer each and every day, solely because we each know there’s work to be done both on our own and with each other. Work that most certainly, one day a time, keeps us remaining faithful and monogamous to each other, and devoted to God…

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson